


Beth's Diary

by Hopesjourney



Category: Moonlight (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Love, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-19 21:38:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 56,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2403800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopesjourney/pseuds/Hopesjourney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story begins when Beth Turner is 16 and chronicles her life through the end of the TV show.  We meet her family and friends and watch as relationships grow into alliances that form strong bonds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Story One in My Moonlight Series. To date, 4 other stories follow.

Beth’s Diary – The Beginning

_January 22, 1997_

_Today is my 16th birthday. Just an ordinary birthday really; family and friends are gathering together for laughter, hamburgers and cake. Chocolate of course. What would my birthday be without my mom’s special to-die-for chocolate cake?_

_I’ve decided to start this diary because they say that keeping a journal can help you with issues. And boy, do I have a few. Not that things are bad in my life, but things haven’t always been like this. Calm – ordinary, full of school and home work, gossiping with my friends over my latest crush; the usual things that occupy a teenage girl’s life. Someday I would like to become a writer, so this is just practice I guess._

_My name is Elizabeth Elaine Turner. I live with my mom in Glendale, California. Mom is single, never married in fact. She’s the best mom anyone could ever have though; we’ve never had to worry about a roof over our heads or food for the table. When people talk about their dads, I can’t help but look at them blankly. Never had one, so I guess it’s true you don’t miss what you never knew._

_I remember my Grandpa Turner some. He died when I was 7. He would take walks with me and pull Pep-O-Mint Lifesavers out of his pocket for me. When I think of him, that’s what I miss the most; the smell of those Lifesavers when I hugged him. Mom and Grandma were devastated by his passing, but I always felt he was still here somehow, watching over us. Every now and again I buy a roll of Pep-O-Mint Lifesavers and think about my Grandpa and hope that he is proud of me._

_Grams is getting older now; I see it as I watch her move slowly across the dining room floor, her hesitant steps planned carefully and cautiously executed. Mom says she needs a cane, but Grams just shrugs off the idea. She asks if we think she’s old or something and then gives me a rakish wink. But as I get older I am more aware that her time with us is limited too. Other than a few assorted cousins that’s it for family really. We Turner’s were not really a prolific bunch I guess you could say._

_Oh, but I forgot mom. Beth, how could you forget her? As I said, best mom ever!!! Dorothy Turner got pregnant at 17, only a year older than me now. I wonder about that, how it changed and complicated her life? My grandparents lives as well, but no one ever complained about it. Mom left high school in her senior year; the year when we are so socially conscious of where we are heading in life and how we are going to get there, or so they tell me. Her life was heading for diapers and 2 am feedings, running straight for the fast track to nowhere fast._

_Unless of course you take my grandparents into consideration. After mom had me they gave her just enough time for a good taste of reality and then ushered her right back on the track for school and a future. She got her GED and then enrolled in college and much to her own surprise finished not quite four years later with a teaching degree in social sciences. Ms. Turner, the teacher. I’m so proud of her. Of course, it’s a lot to live up to, but I’m trying my best._

_I’ve got a year and a half of high school still and then I’m off (keep your fingers crossed) for the school of journalism at UCLA, hopefully with a scholarship. I know Mom and Grams have put aside money for my education, but if I can score a scholarship for most of it that’s just more money for Mom’s future. She just laughs over that and asks me what in the world did I think she was saving for anyway?_

_School – well, it’s okay I guess. I really like debate and my creative writing classes. I’ll get through the algebra and chemistry, always mindful of those looming SAT’s and the magical word ‘S-C-H-O-L-A-R-S-H-I-P!_

_I have two best friends – Robbi and Lani. We’re pretty much the three musketeers (doesn’t that sound so cliché?), but it’s true, none-the-less! Since kindergarten we have done practically everything together, they are the sisters I never had, just not the blood kind which is fine with me. Robbi wants to study marine biology and work with the whales and stuff, pretty cool and that suits her just great. Lani wants to be a business girl, is planning on getting a degree in organizational management when we go to college. That sounds pretty intimidating to me, but she’s just the girl for it!_

_Even with all that, sometimes the past still comes back to me and at times I can’t even figure out the reason for why. The past with the scary woman who floated above the room and shrieked and the man who saved me from her. Sometimes it seems clear what happened, and other times it’s like I can almost remember it, but like it was really only a dream or something. Mom and Grams tell me that if I were supposed to remember it I would, so I should just let it go. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it though, not really. But wouldn’t it be nice if I could?_

_Later!_

 

OOOOOOOOOOO

 

Beth sat back and re-read her first diary entry. She’d never done this, kept a diary and she had really debated over whether to start it out Dear Diary. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to start? But it felt stupid so she just skipped that part.

As she read the words images of her Gramps floated through her mind. She frowned as she realized that it was harder and harder for her to remember him, what he looked like, and the sound of his voice. Only the smell of the Lifesavers was clear anymore and that made her sad. She really did feel like he was still out there somewhere, keeping watch. But Beth also knew that he wasn’t the only one – HE watched, the man from the shadows.

She had never told her Mom and Grams about him. He didn’t scare her, not at all. Actually, he made her feel safe; he rescued her from the scary woman and she knew he would never hurt her. Sometimes the flashes of what happened were fairly clear; she could remember him picking her up and telling her that he was going to take her to her Mom. She held on tightly to him, clinging with her four year old arms to the man with hope, the kind of blind faith and hope that children have that makes them believe that a mom can kiss a boo-boo away or that the tooth fairy will leave you money. He was her hero then, her own personal super-hero or guardian angel. He was with her then, the way he was now.

Some people would probably tell her that she imagined him – that the quick glimpses of him were only her imagination, but Beth knew better. He was real, but he was also her secret.

Her reverie was interrupted by a knock on her bedroom door and it startled her. She realized that she had been chewing on her pen and she dropped it down on the desk and shook her head at the deep bite marks on it. She managed to scoop it into a drawer and close the diary before Robbi and Lani burst into the room.

“Hey! C’mon, everybody is waiting for you down stairs!” Lani said, tugging on Beth’s hand insistently in an effort to get her on her feet.

“Okay, okay. What’s the big deal? They aren’t going to start without me are they?” she laughed.

Robbi was looking at the diary on the desk and she raised a quizzical eyebrow as she realized what it was. She saw Beth watching her and she only smiled and gave a slight shrug. If Beth wanted to talk about it she would, Robbi knew.

Both Robbi and Lani knew what had happened to Beth as a child, the whole neighborhood did. They also knew that she had nightmares about it sometimes too. Beth had often talked about her troubled dreams with her friends, telling them about the scary woman in white and the shadow man who saved her.

Lani liked to fanaticize about the man, Beth’s hero. She told so many stories about him one day returning and sweeping Beth off of her feet that it was sometimes a game to the girls. They played 20 questions about him; what color eyes did he have, what did his voice sound like? Never mind the fact that he would be old now, that was 12 whole years ago. He wouldn’t likely be someone that Beth would ever think was handsome now! But it was a fun game and they spent many happy hours invested in it.

Lani was still tugging on Beth’s hand and said, “We gotta go! Where’s your tiara Princess Girl?” Years ago Beth’s Grandpa had given her a tiara for her birthday and it was tradition for her to wear it every year and this year would be no different. Beth pulled open the top drawer in her dresser and reverently pulled it out and held it up for Lani and Robbi to admire.

The tiara was fit for a princess; it was silver plate set with pink and white CZ’s. Through the years a few of the stones fell off but Beth still treasured it. Her Gramps had given it to her for her 5th birthday. Her mother thought it was an unnecessary indulgence for a small child but Gramps insisted.

“Beth, you are a special girl, our princess and so you should have a crown,” he had told her.

Beth had hugged him tight and kissed him soundly on the cheek. “Thank you Gramps! Will I always be your princess?”

“Of course you will. But more importantly, someday you will be someone else’s too!”

Beth hadn’t understood what that meant back then but the memory of it made her smile. So each year she wore the tiara; for her Gramps and she hoped that he could see her that he was still proud of her.

Beth set the tiara on her head, pushing the small plastic combs into her hair to keep it in place. She turned her head this way and that, admiring the sparkle of the CZ’s. It really did make her feel like a princess she decided!

The three girls made their way downstairs where other people were gathered to share in the birthday festivities. It wasn’t a huge crowd, which was fine with Beth; it was the people that she loved the most and so it was perfect. She gave her Mom and Grams a quick kiss each and said hello to each of the others. Even though it was January it was an uncommonly fine day and they were going to have the party outside, so everyone went out the back door to where the yard had been decorated with balloons and banners in celebration.

“Mom, aren’t I a little old for balloons? Please tell me you don’t have a clown hiding somewhere?” she teased.

“Some Chippendale’s guys would be nice!” Lani interjected with a giggle.

Dorothy turner raised an eyebrow at that and shook her head. Her parents were going to have trouble with that one, she knew. “Nonsense Beth, you are never too old for balloons!”

Beth and Robbi were both still laughing over Lani’s remark but finally managed, “Well, thanks for the thought Mom.”

The grill was going and Beth could smell hamburgers cooking. Her stomach growled loudly and she was glad that everyone seemed to be talking so no one heard it. She wandered over to the picnic table that was set with a brightly colored cloth and had lots of food setting on it, waiting for the burgers to be done. Beth grabbed a pickle off of a platter and popped it into her mouth, savoring the taste that made her mouth pucker a little.

“How much longer Clark?” Beth asked. Clark was a neighbor and a friend of the family. Beth often wondered why he and her mom didn’t date because they were really good friends and he was often around their house. He was a nice guy and when Beth was younger if her bike chain needed greasing or something, Clark was the go-to guy.

“What Beth, you think you’re hungry or something?” he asked her, his eyes twinkling with humor. He probed one of the burgers and said, “Hm, I think this one is about done. Grab a plate; I wouldn’t want to keep the birthday girl waiting!”

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” She grabbed a plate and headed back to the grill. Clark plopped the sizzling patty onto the bun she had grabbed and she inhaled deeply, enjoying the aroma of one of her favorite foods. Everyone else was lining up to get theirs so she moved quickly out of the way and went to pile on the fixings!

The girls took their plates and went to sit on a blanket that had been spread over the lawn. Beth took her first bite of the hamburger and chewed slowly, savoring the taste.

Is that one of your ‘specials’ Beth?” Robbi asked.

“Yeah, and it is GOOD!” She had piled jalapeño’s, guacamole, pepper jack cheese and hot sauce on the burger. She loved anything spicy – the hotter the better. She took another bite and a sliced jalapeno fell out of the burger and onto her plate. She frowned and picked it up and popped it into her mouth; she refused to waste a bit of that treat. “What did you put on yours?”

Robbi shook her head and said, “Nothing like that – same old, same old! I don’t know how you can eat that stuff!” Robbi lifted the top bun and stared at mayo, lettuce and tomato.

“I know you don’t!”

“You two are freaks, you know that? How many times have we had this debate?” Lani asked, eating her own cheese burger which was piled high with pickles and potato chips and mustard.

“Let’s just admit it ladies, we all have our own favorites. If we were ever stranded on a desert isle, we wouldn’t have to argue over ingredient toppings for our burgers!” Beth said.

“Uh, assuming that some cows got stranded with us of course?” Robbi quipped, ever the practical one.

“Yeah, I guess,” Beth laughed.

“And maybe the Chippendales guys too!” Lani added.

Both Robbi and Beth rolled their eyes as they finished their food. Lani had a poster of the guys hanging in her bedroom; it seemed to be all she ever thought about, finding a way to see them for real.

“Yeah, them too!” Beth and Robbi chorused to together, giggling.

The day passed happily, mostly spent talking and laughing with friends and neighbors. At dusk Beth’s Mom lit the candles on her birthday cake and carried it outside. Beth’s eyes lit up with excitement as she saw it.

“Oh Mom, I’ve been waiting all day for this!” she told her, hugging her Mom after Dorothy set the cake down on the picnic table. Beth gazed at the cake, the candle glow shining in her blue eyes, making them sparkle.

“Hurry up! Make a wish and blow ‘em out!” Grams said, as excited as Beth was. When you get to be her age, you appreciated birthdays a whole lot more. You might not be as thrilled with them she thought, but you appreciated having them.

“Hm, let’s see,” Beth said, taking her time. She enjoyed this moment and she enjoyed teasing her grandma. It was a game they played each year and the best part of the day; well except maybe actually eating the cake. “A wish huh? What do I wish for?” She grew quiet for a moment, he wish decided. It was an easy wish; it was the same each year. She closed her eyes and concentrated.

Bring my shadow man to me!

It wouldn’t ever happen, she knew. But still, it was her wish…

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

He watched quietly from the shadows of the neighboring yard, hidden from the view of most. A few cats and dogs knew that he hid there, but they wouldn’t approach him he knew. This was the way the party ended each year, with Beth making a wish and blowing out her candles before the entire group ate cake.

He remembered some of his own birthdays when he was a child; the cake, the candles glowing brightly. Ah, the taste of his mom’s lemon cake, his favorite. She prepared it each year for him, only on his birthday. The last time he had had that cake was his 30th birthday, a lifetime ago.

He gazed at Beth as she ate her cake and smiled as he saw her lick chocolate frosting off of her fingers. It had been 12 years since he had carried her away from that burning inferno where he had killed Coraline. He remembered Beth’s small arms clutching him desperately around his neck, the fire reflecting brightly off of her blue eyes. He turned away from the fire, refusing to watch it burn, satisfied that he had done what he needed to do. He would suffer the consequences (and maybe the grief) later on; right now Dorothy Turner was waiting for her daughter and so he left the building burning brightly.

When Mick got Beth into the Benz, he tucked a soft blanket around her gently and sat her down in the rear seat before taking his own place. Silently she crawled into the passenger seat next to him and all he could do was smile and nod that it was okay. Before they had driven a mile she had fallen asleep, apparently exhausted after her ordeal with Coraline. He wondered if she had been hurt, but she seemed to be fine from what Mick could see. At least he had gotten to her before Coraline had tried to turn her. Mick could never have forgiven himself if he had not made it in time.

At the Turner house in Glendale Mick handed Beth over to her mother’s arms. Three pairs of grateful eyes shed tears of joy to have the child home, apparently safe. Mick said very little about it all and they asked little as well. At the time they were just so thankful to have her back that the questions didn’t really come to them. Mick knew that they would come later and that would hopefully give him time to formulate some replies. He turned down their offer of a meal, a drink and made to leave. Harold Turner handed Mick a check for a ridiculously large sum of money; Mick waved it away.

How did he explain that finding this child had set him free? That now maybe his life could go on and he saw that it was possible to change the direction of his life, in ways he never thought possible? That he was grateful to them?

You didn’t he knew. He only knew that he couldn’t accept their money. And a week later, when the check arrived in the mail he had finally sent it to a local children’s shelter, in the Turner’s name. It seemed a fitting way for the money to be spent.

Through the years he had watched, making sure she was safe. He feared that she had caught glimpses of him from time to time; it used to worry him but time has a way of taking those kinds of worries away. If she had seen him, she was obviously okay with it. So he watched, telling himself that it was for her, to make sure she was okay. Year after year he stood silent guard over her life seeing it as his duty. He stood in the shadows when Harold died and shed a few tears himself as his body was laid to rest. He had watched as Grace aged; he could see how her body ached and hurt her as she moved and he also knew that she would not long be in this world either.

He sunk a bit farther into the shadows as he heard a movement nearby. As he saw who approached he stepped forward and nodded a greeting.

“She looks beautiful, doesn’t she?”

“Yes. And happy,” Mick said.

“I think so.”

“Does she remember?” Mick asked.

“If she does she doesn’t ever speak of it, to me anyway.” The words were spoken with a resigned shrug.

“As long as she’s happy, nothing else matters.”

Both nodded and Mick stepped back into the shadows. He was content.


	2. Chapter 2

_July 4th, 1997_

_I saw him again tonight, or maybe I didn’t really, I don’t know. It could have been the fireworks, which always remind me of fire and fire of course reminds me of that night._

_Mom let me go to the beach with friends today and it was so much fun. Robbi and Lani were there as well as Penny, Mark, Michael, Brian and Justin. We brought a picnic and played Frisbee and swam in the warm water. It was a great day!_

_I got to drive Mom’s car with all the usual promises – NO drinking, nobody other than Robbi, Lani and I in it, follow the speed limit, etc.. Still, it felt wonderful; I felt so grownup and free. We turned on the radio and sang along to our favorite songs while we traveled; Robbi has a beautiful voice and even if Lani and I don’t, it is still fun to sing along._

_Anyway, I thought I saw him as we sat watching the fireworks. Brian had his arm around me and leaned down to kiss me. When I turned my head towards his I thought I saw him watching from behind a dune. For a brief moment I thought his eyes looked almost like they were glowing, but it was the reflection of the fireworks of course. It sort of startled me though and I pulled my head back quickly and Brian’s kiss landed on my cheek instead of my mouth! Embarrassing, for both of us._

_Brian goes to my school and I kinda like him; he’s never tried to kiss me before though and I was sorry that I had screwed up the moment. It wouldn’t be my first kiss, but I haven’t had that many and I’m almost 17! I need to get in more lip to lip time and Brian is just perfect for that!_

_After the fireworks Brian walked me to my car and I did get the kiss then! It was awesome, let me tell you. I can’t wait for the next one. I drove home feeling like I was on cloud nine!_

_If my shadow man watches me, why doesn’t he ever just let me see him; really see him? If he’s real what is the deal? This way I never know whether I am crazy and imagining the whole thing or not. Maybe he isn’t real, maybe that’s the thing – I only imagine him. Maybe my sub-conscious has only created these fleeting glimpses of him to make myself feel safe? That’s a disturbing thought…_

_Mom was waiting (I hope not too anxiously) when I got home and I shared the events of the day with her, even the missed kiss and the real one. (But I didn’t tell her about why the first attempt as the kiss didn’t work) She thought I had a bit of sunburn on my face and I got the ‘Didn’t you use enough sun block?’ lecture. I told her that I did, and tried to use it often, but geez, it’s easy to forget it, you know? She reminded me that skin cancer wouldn’t be so easy to forget._

_She has a point…_

_Later!_

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

“SO,” Lani asked, “Was there tongue?”

“What???” Beth sputtered, trying to focus on driving and not run off the side of the road when she heard Lani’s question.

“You know, when Brian kissed you? I love it when they slip me the tongue!” she said with a sigh.

Robbi rolled her eyes and said, “Listen Miss ‘Do Me’, it’s none of your business. Sheesh Lani, do you ever think about anything besides boys and sex?”

Lani laughed as she looked at her friend, “I sometimes wonder if I should talk Mom and Dad into letting me get my boobs made bigger. Boys like ‘em big!” She woefully looked down at her breasts, B cups at best and let out a frustrated sigh.

“I really can’t believe you sometimes Lanelle Parker! And I can’t imagine you ever making it through business school!” Robbi said.

“Hey, I have it all figured out! And like Melanie Griffith said in Working Girl – ‘I got a mind made for business and a bod made for sex’ or something like that anyway. I may not have a bod made for sex yet, but I will. One of these days the girls are going to make it big!”

Beth was aware of the bantering going on between her two best friends but paid little attention to it. She heard it all the time and could easily tune it out. At first she was thinking about the kiss, or rather the missed kiss and then she thought about her shadow man.

She really was beginning to think she imagined him; it all made sense. He never showed himself outright and so if he was real that pissed her off. It definitely wasn’t cool to let someone think they were crazy. He must be imaginary, he has to be…

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Mick watched Beth from the safety of the sand dune, being cautious to keep well-hidden in the shadows of the night. For the most part the kids were just having fun, no drinking, just usual teen types of preoccupation, i.e. chasing the opposite sex. And Beth wasn’t really that different in that although certainly not as blatant as some of her friends.

Several of the teens had sort of paired off for the evening, Beth being one of those. She was sitting in the sand watching the fireworks display when her young man leaned in for a kiss. Even from where he was sitting Mick could smell the boy’s attraction for Beth and for a moment Mick’s eyes flashed silver in the inky black night and he stepped back, appalled at his reaction.

He had known that sooner or later this would happen. She was a beautiful young woman and she was going to date boys, men and he also knew that he had to let all this go. He made his way down the beach to where the Benz was parked and got in behind the wheel and sat silently for a few minutes. He leaned his forehead down and rested it on the steering wheel for a minute to try and shake it off.

This wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t good for either one of them and he knew it. He tried to tell himself that he had a fatherly interest in her well being, and maybe in years past there was that. But as she grew and matured it was harder for him to buy that. When he looked at her he saw a woman, a beautiful young woman and he had to force himself to remember that she deserved a life that was untainted by anything that he could bring to it.

He had to find a way to let it go…

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Knowing that his best friend Josef was always a great distraction, from anything, he headed there. The top was down in the car and he cruised along, feeling the night. He felt the wind blast through his hair and he pushed the accelerator down a little bit more, enjoying the rush of speed. He cruised for a bit down PCH before heading back toward Josef’s.

As he walked in to Josef’s he saw that he was just finishing dinner. And quite a dish she was, Mick had to admit.

“Care to join me for a little dessert?” Josef inquired, sweeping his arm about to offer some of the other ladies to his friend.

For a moment Mick actually considered the offer. It had been a long time, maybe too long since he had fed fresh. It was his own, self-imposed rule; he could break it if he wanted. Finally he shook his head and replied “I’ll take mine in a glass if you don’t mind!”

Josef shook his head and snapped his fingers and before Mick knew it a lovely woman brought Mick a glass that rested on a silver tray. Mick smiled to himself over the formality of it all but took the glass and sipped slowly, savoring the taste. The blood wasn’t straight from the vein, but it was still fresh and much better than any morgue blood Mick got from Guillermo.

“So,” Josef said, flicking an imaginary piece of lint off of his suit, “What brings you by? Hankering for a game of pool or poker or did you just miss me?” He grinned, knowing they would irritate Mick, who never admitted to needing company or being lonely. Still, Josef thought, something was up tonight, he could smell it all over Mick.

“No Josef, I – “he closed his mouth for a moment and rethought his next words. “You know what? Maybe a game would be a good thing. I think I’m up for that.”

“Uh huh,” Josef answered, sure now that something was bothering his friend. They had this rule that they didn’t pry into each other’s lives, but then again, rules were made to be broken and Josef had broken them all at one time or another. He snapped his finger’s again and said “Call the guys – tell them poker here at my place, right away!” One of Josef’s servants rushed to do as he was told.

“Care to tell me what’s going on?”

“Nothing. No, just, I don’t know, a case I guess.”

“A case? They don’t usually get you so out of sorts. Hell, if I got to follow people around and watch them have sex I’d consider it a great night!” Josef watched as Mick’s eyes flashed silver and he started to rise from the couch.

“What the hell do you know about it?” Mick all but yelled.

“Well, obviously I hit a nerve there boyo. Sorry,” he said, getting up to stroll over to the bar. He picked up a crystal flask of single malt and proffered it to Mick, who nodded his head.

Josef poured two generous glasses and carried them over to the table between the couch where Mick was sitting and his own chair. They each picked up a glass and Josef held his high and offered, “To the night!”

“And it’s secrets,” Mick answered. Mick all but downed his in one swallow and then sat his empty glass back down on the table.

Josef’s eyebrow quirked upwards and he asked, “Another?”

“No, not right now.” He leaned back on the couch and shut his eyes for a moment, savoring the burn that still trickled down his throat. The burn was good; he only wished he could feel the results of the alcohol; he wanted to numb his brain, he wanted oblivion right now really badly.

Josef observed all this quietly, sipping his own drink. One leg was crossed over the other and he looked the picture of gentile relaxation, but quite the opposite was true. Mick was on edge and now so was he.

“Anything going on that I should know about Mick?” he probed.

“No – yeah. I’ve got to get out of here,” he declared.

“What? You just got here!”

“No, I mean out of LA Josef. I need to move on! I have to.”

Josef nodded his head; he knew he wasn’t going to get anything else out of Mick right now so he only said, “I’ll get my people working on it.”

Mick nodded, satisfied. This is how it has to be.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

A week later Mick had packed up the rest of his belongings. Some things would go into storage, the rest Josef was disposing of. Josef’s guy had taken care of everything Mick needed for a new start; new ID and documentation to go with it that would fool any system out there. He had said his goodbyes to the people he cared about; all except one. That one would never know and that was how it should be.

There were questions though from one other who cared about her. “Why must you go? Where will you be? How can we reach you if we need you?” Mick could only shake his head to most of those questions; for everyone’s sake the answers were better left unsaid. He left a number though, just in case; it was the best he could do.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

That night Beth woke up from a nightmare, her heart pounding wildly. She was covered in sweat and her nightgown was drenched and twisted around her legs. She sat up in her bed, staring at the full moon that was shining through her bedroom window. She tried to remember what the nightmare was about.

She concentrated and the dream came back to her, slowly at first and then rushing in like a runaway train. Her shadow man was gone; she didn’t know how and she didn’t know where, but he was gone.

She cried herself back to sleep that night full of despair. Would she ever feel safe again?


	3. Chapter 3

_January 22, 1998_

_I can’t believe it, another birthday and only 4 more months of school! Summer vacation, YAY! It has been an unbelievable month so far; I found out I got my scholarship to UCLA for the fall! I am now officially enrolled and ready to go and while I’m so excited, I’m also scared to death. I wonder if everyone feels this way about going to college. Robbi and Lani are just as excited and both will be going to UCLA as well, although we will each be in different ‘colleges’ at the university. Still, we’ll see each other a lot I hope. I will live at home the first year, but I hope to get to live in the dorms my sophomore year. Mom says it’s a big enough change for me just to go to the university, that I don’t need the stress of dorm life right away._

_I can see her point but it sort of disappoints me, you know? I mean, I am SO ready for some independence, of being in charge of my own life! It’s only a year – I’ll just have to continue to repeat that! Both Robbi and Lani will be stuck at home too so at least I won’t be the only one._

_I still have frequent nightmares about my shadow man. I wish I understood what happened. I know that he is gone, but what I don’t know is whether or not he was ever there. Maybe I just made him up; maybe it was a crutch I needed to feel safe and secure, who knows? What I do know is that since last summer I haven’t caught any glimpses of him, I haven’t felt his presence. I’m not scared really, not of the scary woman any longer anyway. I still think about what happened then, but so much of it is only dream-like now. Bits and pieces flash through my mind, a remembered image of the fire, but never the faces, the white dress she wore that night and for some reason I also see the color red._

_What I do remember vividly is being in his arms; I remember feeling safe. He held me close and told me that I was going to be okay, that he would take me home. It’s funny, but I don’t really remember coming home though. Mom says that’s because I was actually asleep when I got there. I’ve asked her about him, that man and she doesn’t say too much, only that Clark had told her about him._

_I admire my mom so much; if ever anyone ever needed an ideal role model it would be my mom. She wasn’t perfect, don’t get me wrong and we’ve certainly had our share of disagreements but I always knew that she was there, no matter what I needed. The older I get the more I realized how much she had to have sacrificed for me, including a personal life, although I never asked that of her._

_Clark has always been around and I’ve often wondered why they never got together? They care for each other I think and in many ways he was a great substitute dad. Neither one of them will talk about it though, just like mom never talks about my dad._

_So many things to wonder about!_

_Later…_

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

The weather didn’t cooperate this year for an outside party; the group ordered pizza and Beth, Lani and Robbi waited impatiently for it as all three were hungry. It was cool and rainy out and Lani was breathing on the window in the living room and then drawing dirty pictures on the steamy display.

“Lanelle Parker, STOP that immediately!” Dorothy said as she walked up and saw a drawing of a very overly - endowed man. “Where do you get these ideas?” Lani hastily wiped the drawing off the window, a shocked look on her face at being caught. Dorothy laughed to herself as she turned away and headed back into the den.

That girl is certainly going to be disappointed some day!

Dorothy saw her mother sitting in a chair in the den and she looked a bit chilled. She grabbed an afghan off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around her mother’s shoulders.

“There, is that better Mom?”

“Thanks Dorothy. Yes, it’s better now. I’m just feeling a bit chilled today; must be all the rainy weather here. And I thought it never rained in California!”

Clark smiled and said, “Well, that’s how the songs go but I guess they are wrong, today anyway. Grace, how about I get you a cup of tea?”

“Oh, no thanks Clark, this wrap will be just fine.” She pulled it a bit tighter around her and missed the look of concern that passed between Dorothy and Clark.

The door bell rang, peeling loudly in the conversation lull and they heard the girls cheering.

“Mom! The pizza is here,” Beth said, coming into the den. “And you had better go and rescue the delivery guy – Lani thinks he’s cute!”

“Lord!” Dorothy said, starting to get up.

“I’ve got it,” Clark said, beating her to her feet. He followed Beth back to the living room and told the girls to go and help Dorothy set the table.

As they headed into the dining room Robbi remarked, “You know, it’s like he lives here too. It’s kinda weird Beth.” She quickly quieted when she saw Dorothy looking at her.

“Beth, get the paper plates out of the cupboard please? And Lani and Robbi, grab the cups and the ice for me, if you would?”

All three girls nodded and went to follow her instructions.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

It was 6 pm in Seattle and Michael Sandoval was just getting up to start his day. If he could have slept the night away he would have gladly because he was fully aware of what day this was and that for the first time in 13 years he wasn’t there to watch what was happening. He wouldn’t see her, wearing her tiara blowing her candles out or her family and friends around her, hugging her and wishing her well. He was no longer a part of it all.

Face it Mick, you were never a part of it, ever. He told himself that over and over; maybe one day he might actually believe it too. But right now it just hurt. It was a pain that stabbed his undead heart mercilessly.

What he couldn’t shake was the fact that he still felt her; in his heart and in his head. Like some kind of emotional connection that just wouldn’t go away, not with time or distance and it puzzled him greatly. A thought burrowed through his brain that maybe the connection wasn’t meant to go away and for both of their sakes he hoped that wasn’t true.

He padded barefoot to his hidden fridge and grabbed the bottle of A positive that he favored and prepared to pour a glass and then he thought better of it. Instead, he set it back down and reached for his syringe and a vial of O positive; he needed a main line shoot this time, a jump start so to speak.

He filled his syringe and then settled into a comfortable chair to plunge the needle into a vein. He slowly depressed the plunger and felt the blood being infused into his vein. He sucked in an unnecessary breath and blew it out slowly enjoying the heady feeling and for a moment just savored the rush of the blood making its way through his veins.

Mick yawned and stood up, taking the syringe back into the kitchen and pulling it apart so that it could go be cleaned. After he was finished he hopped into the shower, trying to focus on the case he was working on in an effort to take his mind off of the events unfolding in California.

Instead his mind wandered back to a time 13 years ago, to a deserted building in the valley where his ex-wife had taken a 4 year old girl in some deranged effort to convince him that they could be a family.

She had been expecting him to show up, of course, she had left a huge trail of bread crumbs that only an idiot could have missed. The clues were all totally unnecessary since he knew as soon as he caught the scent where the child was and who had her. As soon as he stepped through the door, his heart went out to that child; she was petrified and she looked at him as if he were her savior. She was okay physically and Mick felt enormous relief; Coraline hadn’t turned her yet.

Coraline herself was ‘floating’ on the ceiling and immediately settled down on the floor behind the girl, holding her out as if she were an offering to Mick. He knew that Coraline had some special skills and while he wondered briefly about her ‘floating’ he quickly dismissed it as he tried to make sure the child was alright.

“Cora, what are you doing?” he asked her, sickened by the fear in the child’s face.

“Mick, we can be a family; you, me and baby!” Her hands caressed the side of the girls face and huge blue eyes blinked as she gazed at Mick, tears streaking her tiny face.

“I won’t let you hurt her, Coraline!” he said, and Cora could tell he meant it.

The ensuing fight was ugly, violent and the child shrank into a corner, trying to be invisible. Cora’s shrieks and screams were loud and terrifying to her and she feared that the man would die because he was quickly covered in blood.

It was funny how certain moments are pivotal in a person’s life. A single thought or action will change everything and this was that moment for Mick. Life with Cora played through his mind in Technicolor for Mick and in that split second he decided he had had enough. The craziness was going to end – right here, right now.

The stake through her heart was fast and true; a rush of air escaped her lungs in a paralyzed scream that ruptured the air. For one half of a second Mick was amazed at what he had done. She was not only his wife but his sire; her eyes pleaded with him to remove the stake.

NO – NO, he would not do it. He went to the child and told her he was taking her home. She crawled quickly into his arms, hugging him tightly about the neck. He looked around the room and saw a lantern and before he could think he grabbed it and tossed it towards Coraline. The fire ignited a chaise and spread rapidly, flames licking at everything in its path. Coralline’s keening screams became louder but he tuned them out, only thinking of getting the child out of the building. They left the inferno, a blaze of heat chasing them. For one moment he thought he saw Cora rise and beat against the window, the stake no longer in her heart. An impossibility. He turned away, closed the book on her.

All these years later he still could remember every detail of that night; every smell, every look and every terrified scream that was pulled from Coraline. He had killed his sire, the vampire equivalent to killing your parent, a crime that was regarded as horrific in either world. Your sire is your connection; to your heritage, to yourself really. Each blood line has different attributes to some degree and many vamps were overly proud of their heritage.

Mick wasn’t one of them. Cora was her own brand of crazy; she was also like a drug and she pulled him into the craziness with her. She had no conscience, no real loyalty and no regard for life; all ideas that Mick couldn’t support.

She was dead, period.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

The party was over and Beth stood looking in the mirror; gazing at her face. Seventeen, she as seventeen today and she didn’t think she looked all that different from last year. The light from over head caught the sparkle of the tiara on her head and she carefully removed it, looking at it with a bit of sadness.

It reminded her so much of her grandpa and how much she missed him. Lifesavers and the tiara were all she had left of him; maybe of childhood. Next year at this time she would actually be in college, no longer a child, but a young woman who would be on the verge of discovering her own life. A salty tear slipped silently down her cheek and spattered onto one of the pink CZ’s adding an unwanted sparkle.

She traced the filigree on the tiara with a cautious fingertip, ever mindful that it was getting older; she didn’t want to dislodge any more of the stones on it. Memories came flooding back to her; of birthdays past that were shared with the people she loved the most in this world. Those people loved her and supported her but there was something missing now and she thought about it every day. Maybe that should be ‘him’, her shadow man, her guardian angel.

Beth knew without a doubt that he was not here any longer. She didn’t know how she knew; she just did. What she didn’t know was what had happened to him; why he was gone. She didn’t know who he was – she did know that he existed. For awhile she thought maybe she imagined it all, but last year when he left she knew; she knew. He had been real.

There was a knock on her door and she called out an absent-minded “Come in”. Her mom opened the door and walked into the room, watching as Beth carefully wrapped the tiara up to put it away for another year.

“Your grandfather would be so happy to see that you still wear it. His princess, he loved you so much, Beth.”

Beth nodded, swallowing hard. “You think he watches now, or that he can’t?”

Dorothy frowned for a moment, thinking how to answer. “I guess I want to believe that’s possible Beth; in truth I don’t know. Does it comfort you to think he does?”

“It – it makes me feel closer to him I guess.” Beth put the tiara into the box and set it on the shelf in her closet. She sat down on the bed and motioned for her mom to sit too. “Mom, why don’t you ever talk about when I was little? You know, when I was ta…taken?” Beth stumbled over that last word; it brought back so many memories that she tried to forget.

“Beth, I – I, it was a painful time, for all of us. I don’t see that it does any good to talk about it. You were found and you were okay. That is what mattered.” Dorothy’s heart was pounding wildly as the memories came rushing back to her; the fear, the fear that choked her until she couldn’t breathe. Until she found Mick, she knew that he was the one to help her as soon as she found him.

“Mom, sometimes I DO need to talk about it. I can’t hide from it forever, I just can’t! Who took me? Who found me? It was a man, I remember that, but who was he? Mom, I need to know!”

“Beth, I, it was a woman who took you, you know that. I didn’t know her. A private detective found you; someone a friend recommended. He- he was amazing and had you back to us very quickly. That’s really all I know.” For a moment she felt a pang of guilt about the lie she told her daughter, but it was a lie born of necessity. It was better for everyone that Beth didn’t know too many details. Once you knew you couldn’t go back and Dorothy didn’t want Beth to have to bear the burden of that knowledge.

Beth shook her head impatiently; she had heard this before and it wasn’t the answers she needed, wanted. “Mom, there has to be more, more that you can tell me. I just don’t believe anymore that you don’t know more than that!”

“Beth, your being returned to us was a gift, the most precious gift imaginable. I didn’t ask that many questions; the questions weren’t important, only the fact that you were safe in my arms again. Can’t you understand that?”

“NO! No, I don’t. Mom, you have always told me to fight for what I believe in, to push for answers and not to settle until I was satisfied. Well, I’m pushing now! I need answers.” Beth’s defiant blues eyes stared into eyes that were remarkably like hers; the same shade of blue except right now her own were darkened with the passion of her need to find out the truth.

Dorothy recognized that look well; she wore it often herself but she had nothing else to offer and so she rose off the bed and bent to kiss Beth on the top of her head. She reached a gentle hand out to caress her daughter’s cheek and wiped a warm tear away. “Honey, I don’t have any more answers for you. I’m sorry, but I don’t.” She tried to smile and failed miserably so she turned to walk to the door. Before she closed it she looked once more at her daughter, sitting on her bed, her knees drawn up and arms hugging them. Beth looked at her with wounded eyes and Dorothy saw betrayal in them. It was something she had chosen to live with a long time ago and she couldn’t go back now. She nodded at her daughter and softly said, “Goodnight Beth. I love you.”

Beth nodded her head, a jerky movement; an angry movement. “Goodnight Mom.”

No ‘I love you’ in return, but Dorothy knew that it wasn’t because she didn’t love her; it was just because she was angry right now. She paused for a moment and then closed the door as she left the room.

As the door softly closed Beth fought the urge to throw a pillow at it; instead she laid her forehead on her knees and let the tears flow. They weren’t healing tears though, they were angry tears and eventually she stopped them because they did her no good.

What is she hiding? Is she hiding something, or does she truly not know anything? And if she doesn’t, how can that be?

She was 17 now, time to grow up. Beth knew that she wouldn’t ever wear the tiara again; that was her past. It represented a time of protection and innocence; now she felt neither. Her shadow man was gone and for some reason she no longer felt innocent. She felt like a woman who needed answers about her past and she was determined to find them.

 

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

_January 12, 1998_

_Almost time for the winter semester to begin which means that I survived my first semester in the freshman pool. I had no idea how big of a pool it was going to be before I got here. Talk about feeling insignificant, a semester here will do it for you. Forget the fact that you are literally lost for the first two weeks, that’s nothing. No, what got me the most is that I went from being a straight A student who was recognized and lauded for her achievements and class valedictorian to someone who doesn’t even hardly register on the platform of humanity._

_I get it; we’re the low men on the totem pole, so to speak. You’re sort of on trial here, and everyone is waiting to see what you can offer, what you can do; or to see you fall flat on your ass. I’ve always thought I was smart, smarter than many but here I’m not even close to some of these people; some are simply brilliant and that is very intimidating for me. Even Robbi, who had a 4.0 as compared to my 3.8 GPA is even struggling and that is just scary. I think it is even harder for her; she has always been driven to perform, both by her parents and herself. Now instead of Friday and Saturday nights spent hanging out, she’s being tutored to maintain those grades. Lani, of course, is just simply Lani; college is one big goldfish bowl of fun and men and she is taking a dip in this pond, let me assure you!_

_I have met a few new friends and that has been fun. A guy named Carl Davis is in my Public Speaking class. He is so much fun and also very HOT! We hang out sometimes after class and have coffee and chat. He’s a year ahead of me but still remembers what it feels like to be the new kid on the block. There are other friends too, Chrissy, Jane, Randy and Sydney, all willing to commiserate over our lowly status. Haven’t really had the time to go out on dates though, studying comes first. I have a scholarship to maintain and it is just not as easy as I thought it would be; which makes me have to push harder to keep up. I have participated in some campus events though and it has been fun. The university is like its own small city, a microcosm of cultures, beliefs and ethnic backgrounds and there is so much to see and experience. Next year I hope to be able to work on the campus newspaper which will be a lot of fun!_

_I’m still not seeing or feeling my shadow man. I know it is ridiculous but I miss him; the security I felt because of his presence. It’s not that I’ve been threatened in anyway, it’s more like just knowing all those years that there was a ‘back up plan’ I guess, if anything did happen. I know I can count on Mom and Clark, but somehow it’s not the same. I guess in some ways I felt special, having the shadow man out there. I wonder sometimes if it were me that made him go away? Did I do something wrong or did he just get tired of the watch? I’m sure he has his own life to live and maybe that’s what happened, his life took him somewhere else._

_But I miss him. Isn’t that strange since I never knew him? I felt a connection with him though and I think that a part of me will always be connected to him. I like to think that someday I’ll see him and my heart will just know._

_Later!_

 

Mick heard a knock on his front door; a rare occurrence. Usually anytime someone was knocking it was on his office door so he approached the door cautiously. A couple of feet from it he caught the scent of vamp, a familiar scent and then he spied the person waiting on the other side of the door and grinned, delighted to have this visitor.

“Uh, Mi - Michael? Is it okay that I’m here?” his guest asked, looking past his shoulder and into the empty house.

“It’s always okay for you to visit me Logan. But what are you doing here in Seattle?” Mick asked, giving Logan a quick ‘guy’ hug. He looked at the young vamp, taking the sight of him in and subtly nodding his head; all was well with Logan he could tell.

“I was up here to help launch the new Microsoft platform. I still do consulting work for them from time to time. Anyway, I just thought I’d stop by.”

“I’m so glad you did. Come in! Can I get you something to drink?”

“Yeah, that would be good. I’ve been at meetings all day and I’m starved!” Logan followed Mick into the kitchen, looking around at Mick’s new house. It was nothing at all like the loft in California, except that it was fairly dark. This apartment was all wood grains, rich walnuts and mahogany’s with granite counter tops and slate floors. It was still Mick, just different, Logan thought.

After he poured glasses of blood he handed one to Logan and said, “Here, let’s go out on the deck.” Mick slide the wide door open and they stepped outside onto a beautiful teak deck that overlooked Puget Sound. Logan knew that during daylight hours it would be a spectacular view. They settled into deck chairs and sipped their blood. It was 33 degrees out and both of them thought it felt great.

“Um, fresh,” Logan exclaimed, surprised. “You got yourself some freshies tucked away here, Mick?” As soon as the name was out of his mouth he winced; it seemed wrong to say Michael, it just didn’t feel right.

Mick smiled and shook his head. “No, but thanks to Josef I do have a fresh source. I have to admit it is better than the bagged morgue stuff. So, tell me what is going on with you Logan.”

While Logan launched into his latest escapades with Microsoft, Mick’s mind drifted back 18 years, to when Logan was in college and already was proving himself to be a genius in the up and coming computer technology field.

_1980...  
Mr. St. John, I need to hire you. My wife has been kidnapped!” Alexander Griffin told him, handing Mick a note written by the kidnapper._

_“Why haven’t you gone to the police Mr. Griffin?” Mick asked, trying to focus on the note. He picked up a lot of hatred and anger off of the note but little else._

_“It says not to; I’m playing this exactly by the book! Please, you’ve got to help me. Please?”_

_Mick studied the man’s distraught face that was etched with pain and fear. He was dabbing at his eyes and the smells rolling off of him were genuine; his wife really had been taken. “Tell me what happened.”_

_“I had just picked up our younger son, Logan, from LAX. He’s been going to college at Berkeley and will be home for the summer break. I’m a judge Mr. St. John; this is probably someone that I have sentenced that has taken her. Please!”_

_Mick nodded, listening. “So you weren’t at home? Was anyone else there? You said Logan was your younger son. What about the older one?”_

_Alexander shook his head no and said, “No, he doesn’t live at home any longer. Michelle was alone. Mr. St. John, I, uh, don’t know how to say this but you were recommended by a mutual, friend. I know that you have some rather special abilities. I can pay whatever you require, just please help me.”_

_The knowledge by Mr. Griffin of his ‘special abilities’ was enough to make Mick cautious. People did know, but not that many and certainly fewer outside the vamp world. “Mr. Griffin, or perhaps it should be Judge Griffin? Who is our mutual friend?”_

_“Mr. Griffin is fine; Alexander would be better even. And our mutual friend is Josef Kostan. I have aided Mr. Kostan occasionally in some of his endeavors. It’s a good situation for both of us. Please, check with him, I just urge you to do it quickly!”_

_As he finished speaking Mick’s phone rang. The answering machine picked up the call and he heard Josef’s voice. He picked up the phone and listened while Josef explained that he was sending a ‘friend of the family’ over for his help._

_“Yes, he is here already.”_

_“Quick. Well anyway, he knows about us, help him if you can. I’ll explain more later.”_

_Mick murmured “You had better,” as the line went dead. He sat the phone down into the cradle and leaned back in his chair, his lips pursed as he thought about the situation. Being a ‘friend of the family’ could bring additional complications to the situation. He needed answers before he could help._

_“So Alexander, could there possibly be any ‘family’ involvement in this?”_

_“I don’t think so; I don’t know who it would be. Other than Josef, I don’t really know any others.” His shoulders slumped forward and Mick distinctly heard a muffled sob. He looked up at Mick and said, “She’s my life, Mr. St. John and she doesn’t deserve anything bad to happen to her. Please…”_

_Mick nodded, making a quick decision. “Call me Mick Alright Alexander, I’ll help. Tell me as much as you can about the situation.”_

_Mick listened for a half hour to all that the judge knew, including a run down on likely cases where someone would try to take action for a pay back. They decided on two that were the most likely and the judge said that he would immediately have some police files concerning the cases sent over to Mick. Hopefully there would be enough time to check them out before anything else happened. All the note said was that they would be contacting the judge soon._

_As soon as the judge left Mick’s office he packed up some equipment and made arrangements to do some surveillance on one of the suspects. He seemed the most likely, just out of prison and a younger brother was killed in the raid 11 years ago. It was a drug operation and the judge handed down the maximum sentence. But with time for good behavior, Jess Crum was already out. He had connections, motive and just the kind of retaliatory attitude to be involved in this. The case files wouldn’t be delivered until tomorrow, but Mick didn’t want to wait to get started. He called his friend Bobby at LAPD and got a current address on Jess and told Bobby he was going to do a little observation. Bobby knew there was more to it than that but let it go, knowing that Mick worked best when he followed his hunches._

_After only a few hours of surveillance Mick knew that he had found Michelle Griffin, but the sun was getting ready to come up so he reported back to Alexander. It would be next to impossible to get her out of the building safely; they would need to wait until the demands came in and they moved her to a more open location. They luckily didn’t have long to wait._

_What they wanted was to trade Michelle for Alexander. Mick adamantly refused to let that happen. Alexander just as adamantly intended to do just that._

_“Mick, we have to make it seem like we’re cooperating. If I am there that will distract them and you can get in to get to Michelle.”_

_“First, we have to verify that they have Michelle with them Alexander; make sure it’s not a ploy. Do you understand what I’m saying?” Mick watched the emotion flow over his face, fear, pain and then sheer terror._

_“You – you think they don’t intend an exchange?” he asked shakily._

_“We have to be prepared for anything Alexander. ANYTHING. We aren’t handing you over if she isn’t there. That’s a sure way to lose you both.”_

_“Look Mick, I’m expendable in this picture, okay? You get her out, save her regardless of what happens to me, it’s all that’s important.” He met Mick’s gaze without wavering; he was sincere. “If it comes to a choice, there IS NO choice, okay?”_

_Mick nodded; there wasn’t anything else he could do at this point, other than to try and ensure that he got them both out safely._

_At 8:00 PM that evening Mick, Alexander and Logan Griffin set off to follow the bread crumbs that would eventually lead them to the rendezvous spot. Alexander was against Logan going but he refused to stay at home and worry. Mick was concerned about having both of them there; it made it more dangerous to try to protect three instead of two._

_As the three of them waited through the afternoon for more instructions Mick got an opportunity to talk to Logan; the kid was some kind of computer genius apparently. A guy named Bill Gates was doing amazing work with computers and Logan was planning on joining his company as soon as he graduated in May. At 22 he would graduate with a Masters in computer technology and information systems. He was a nice kid and Mick enjoyed talking to him._

_“So uh, you’re like, you know, different?” Logan asked, not daring to say the words._

_Mick raised an eyebrow, definitely not appreciating the fact that Logan knew about vampires. Damn it, why the hell did Alexander tell him?_

_“I guess that depends on what you mean by ‘different’ Logan,” Mick said, hoping that he was wrong about what Logan knew._

_“You know,” Logan said and made like he was going to bite something. “YOU know.”_

_“Logan, that’s uh, not for people to know. You understand you can’t tell anyone don’t you? Ever?”_

_Alexander had been listening absent-mindedly to the conversation and finally caught the subject. “How the hell did you get that information, Logan?” he asked._

_“I have ears, Dad! You talk to Mr. Kostan about ‘special’ things and I’m not an idiot, I can figure it out!”_

_“Well, like Mr. St. John says, you keep your mouth shut! Period. You do not tell anyone! EVER? Got that?”_

_“I GOT IT!” Logan shifted in his seat and looked around, hoping they would change the subject; he was sorry he brought it up to begin with._

_A little after midnight they pulled up to the abandoned warehouse for the exchange. Mick got out of the car a half a block away and told Alexander to wait until he came back to approach the site. The meeting was set for 1:00 AM so they had a bit of time; time in which Alexander and Logan both worried themselves sick._

_Mick was back in 20 minutes; he had seen that they did have Michelle in the back of a van but he couldn’t get to her because there were too many captors with her and she was chained to the inside of the van. They would have to wait until her captors removed the chains and then Mick could get to her._

_Mick went over the plan with Alexander; he was to wait until 12:55 and then pull up to the rendezvous site. Mick would already be waiting in the shadows to grab Michelle and take care of her captors. He would disable the van if possible, but in reality he didn’t think there would be anyone left to drive it away, if all went as was planned._

_At 12:55 exactly Alexander pulled the car up to the warehouse and killed the engine. He opened the door and stepped out, holding his hands up to show that he was unarmed._

_“Who’s in the car, Judge?” Jess Crum asked, seeing Logan’s head. “I told ya to come alone? Didn’t understand that? Was all that education wasted on ya?”_

_“It’s my son, he wanted to be here to help his mom in case she was too shaken to drive. Where is she? I want to see her before I take another step.”_

_“I’m the one calling the shots. Get your kid outta the car, NOW!”_

_“Logan, step out please. Look, we’re both unarmed. Just bring Michelle out here and she and Logan will leave. It’s as simple as that!”_

_Jess pointed a gun at another guy who was standing there and said, “Search them both.” To Alexander he added, “Billy ain’t going to find no weapons is he? He don’t like finding surprises!”_

_“No weapons, no surprises, Crum.” They stood as Billy searched them both. As he leaned over Logan the smell of his fetid breath made Logan gag and his reaction was to try to step back. Billy immediately back-handed Logan, hard enough to knock him off of his feet. His head hit the pavement and blood started gushing from his nose which had gotten broken, whether from the fall or from the force of the blow, he wasn’t sure._

_“Now I didn’t tell you it was okay to move. Get your ass up kid, NOW!” Jess all but screamed._

_Logan stood up shakily and swiped as much blood as he could off of his face, but it continued to flow freely. He kept wiping it on his sleeve and soon that was soaked with more blood than it could absorb. He tried to focus on what was happening to try to keep his mind off of the pain in his nose._

_Alexander and Logan both watched as Michelle was brought out of the van. She was a bit bloody and battered herself but she managed a weak smile for them, trying to calm them down._

_“Are you alright, honey?” Alexander looked at her pale face that was streaked with blood and his heart immediately skipped a beat or two. He clenched both of his fists to his side in an effort to keep from grabbing Billy, who was standing near him. Billy had his gun pointing at Logan right now and Alexander was afraid he would shoot at any sudden movement._

_Michelle looked at her husband and son and tried to keep herself together. All she wanted was to feel safe, to be held by them, but she had learned quickly when she was abducted that to show any weakness only brought her a swift blow. She squared her shoulders and nodded and started to say “I’m okay,” when all hell broke loose._

_As soon as she opened her mouth Jess back-handed her across the face, knocking a couple of teeth out and sending her flying across the pavement. He followed her and began to kick her viciously yelling, “I told you not to talk, didn’t I?”_

_Logan immediately ran for his mother and so did Mick; he ran through the two guards on his way, snapping both of their necks and tossing them aside like the garbage they were._

_Logan knocked Jess down to get to his mother and Jess dropped the gun and then scrambled for it. Alexander was moving by that time to try to get the gun away from Billy, but he misjudged their distance from one another and Billy fired off two shots at him. The first one missed but the second one hit him in the leg, taking him down._

_Logan saw it all: played out in slow-motion and vivid color. He started to rise to get to his father just as Jess managed to grab the gun off the ground. Mick was heading for Jess but was too late; he emptied his barrel into Logan and Michelle just as Mick got to him. Mick picked him up and tossed him carelessly over the van and heard a satisfying whoosh of air as well as the snap of his neck as he hit the ground._

_Billy’s eyes opened wide with fear as he realized he was the only one left. Mick was moving quickly to him with eyes that were glowing silver in the light of the street lamp. Billy screamed and started firing his gun, until there was nothing left in the chamber. He hit Mick and Logan again before clicking the trigger again and again, uselessly. Finally, he threw the gun on the ground and turned to run when he realized that Mick wasn’t stopping. Before he had gotten two steps, Mick had him and with a roar, grabbed him by the throat and screamed his rage at Billy._

_Billy knew what was going to happen next; he saw it in the mad light in Micks eyes, in the fangs that were shining in the pale light. His bladder immediately released and he felt the hot rush down his legs as his bladder emptied itself. Mick let him sink to the ground, breathing in his fear, his defeat. The vampire within was shrieking for revenge; it was battle that the human had no desire to control. The last thing Billy felt before his heart stopped was razor-sharp fangs ripping into his throat._

_The human took control again as the vampire growled with victory. Mick wiped his mouth with his shirt sleeve and gradually became aware of what was going on behind him. He turned to take in the scene and immediately ran to the three humans._

_Only two heartbeats remained; one rapid with fear and the other weak and thready. Mick took in the scene, assessing the damage. Michelle was dead, half of her head gone from one of the shots. Logan lay next to her, pale, his blood leaking out of a wound that had all but severed his femoral artery. Mick knew that he had only a few minutes at most to live. He closed his eyes, feeling the pain that Alexander would endure at losing his wife and son._

_Mick knelt down and placed a hand on Alexander’s arm and squeezed it lightly. Mick knew that there was no time for an ambulance to get there and yet he had to ask Alexander if he wanted him to find a phone and call._

_Alexander stared at him, his eyes glazed over with shock and despair. He opened his mouth to speak and closed it again quickly, as if re-thinking his words. Then he said, “Help him, Mick!”_

_“I-I can’t Alexander. His artery is destroyed; he’s lost too much blood. I’m sorry…”_

_Mick hung his head and as he did he felt Logan’s hand reach out and touch his leg. Mick looked at his face, so young, in so much pain; fear was written starkly across it, fear of death, of the unknown. “Mick,” Logan said, his voice only a mere whisper. “Mick, don’t let me die.”_

_The plaintive words made Mick catch his breath as he realized what Logan was asking. He immediately shook his head, “No Logan, no, I can’t do that!”_

_Mick felt Alexander grab his arm roughly, his fingernails digging through the fabric of Mick’s jacket. “Yes you can, you know you can.”_

_“No I can’t. This isn’t the way it should be Alexander. This isn’t living…”_

_“It’s better than the alternative Mick.” Logan’s words were spoken quietly, trailing off into whispers. Mick looked him in the eyes and saw Logan’s eyes stare unblinkingly back at him, with the tiniest bit of hope still alive in them._

_Mick drew in a sharp breath and swallowed hard. He had never done this. How could he do this to another human being, turn them into a monster, forced to live in the dark; spurned by society, exiled from everyone and everything you loved? How could he do it?_

_“Mick, please, save my son. You can, you can do it, please. I’m begging you. I’ll pay anything you ask, just save him.”_

_Hot tears were streaking his face and Mick caught the salty tang and scented the anguish that was in the air. A father’s anguish at not only losing his wife but now a son as well. What would his own father have wanted? Not this – NOT THIS, his mind screamed. This is a death sentence, worse, a nightmare that never ends; Hell on this earth. A tear drop fell on his hand and he realized it was from his own eyes. Could he live with himself if he did it? Could he live with himself if he didn’t?_

_He heard Logan and Alexander both say “Please,” together and Mick steeled himself; not against their pleas, but against his own need to run and not do this thing. Finally he nodded and said, “I’ll do it. Logan, this is going to change everything for you, do you understand that? You have to understand that or I can’t do it and I don’t have time to explain everything now.”_

_“Just do it,” Logan said, his voice barely audible. His heartbeat had slowed to almost non-existence. Mick had to do it now if there was any chance of helping Logan make it._

_“I – I just need to take a little more of your blood Logan, and then I’ll slash my wrist and you’ll have to drink. My blood will speed through your system and take over. But you’ll have to drink, it will be up to you how this goes…”_

_Logan nodded almost imperceptibly and Mick leaned over, his fangs fully emerged and bent to make the fatal bite in Logan’s neck. He was as scared as Logan, his own memories of this were so hazy and filled with pain; he just tried to focus on Logan, not tearing his neck too badly._

_Listen to the heartbeat Mick, listen…_

_When it had all but stopped Mick tore his wrist open so the blood could flow freely into Logan’s mouth. He held his arm over Logan’s head, letting the blood drip, counting off the seconds as he waiting for Logan to respond. A full minute went by and Alexander was starting to panic._

_“Why isn’t he drinking?” he yelled. “WHY? What’s wrong?”_

_“I think it can take a minute or two. Give him a chance.” Mick was silent, ticking off the time in his head. At last, Logan opened his eyes and reached for Mick’s wrist, pulling it frantically against his mouth. He ruthlessly pulled the blood into his mouth, greedily swallowing down as much as he could get. Finally, Mick pulled his arm away and leaned back on his heels, watching Logan carefully._

_“What about all the bullets in him? Do we need to get him to the hospital?” Alexander asked._

_“No, no hospitals. I can remove them back at my house. Logan is going to have to stay with me for a while so he can learn, uh things. Alexander, I wasn’t kidding when I said his whole world will be different. It’s going to take some time for him to …adjust. We’ve got to get the police here for Michelle. I’m going to go and find a phone. Keep him down for a few minutes, until I get back.”_

_Alexander nodded and watched Mick head off at vamp speed to find a phone. He looked at his son, who was resting on the pavement. Whatever happened to him, he was still here, with us. That was all that mattered._

 

Mick and Logan chatted for a bit longer and made plans for the next evening and Mick later realized how much he was looking forward to it. He had missed Logan so much; their bond was tight and always had been. He went to bed with a smile on his face for the first time in a long time.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

“Hey Mom,” Beth said as walked into the house. Life had been so hectic lately with that Beth felt as if she hadn’t really talked to her mom in a week. “What’s up?”

She listened as her mom caught her up on the latest news from the neighborhood. Beth smiled as she listened to it all until her mom’s last two pieces of news. “Honey, your grandma is not doing well at all. I’m so worried about her Beth.” Beth heard a small sob and sat there as her mom quietly blew her nose. “I’m just so worried about her.”

“I know Mom, me too. I hope we can spend some time together this weekend. I’d like to spend time with you both.”

“Yes Beth that would be good. But oh, on Saturday morning I have a funeral to go to. You can stay with your grandma while I’m gone.”

“Okay. Who died?”

“Judge Griffin. Clark is really broken up over it all. It’s so hard to lose a parent.”

“Oh man, that stinks. The judge was a nice guy. Clark has lost so many people in his life already.”

“Yes, he has. I love you Beth!”

“Love you too Mom. I’m looking forward to the time with you both. Unfortunately, right now I have to go study! See you later.”

 

To be continued…


	5. Chapter 5

_October 3, 1999_

_So, here I am back at school! Sophomore year, hooray! And I’m living in the dorm, but sadly I’ve found that dorm living ain’t all it’s cracked up to be! I can’t believe I’m saying that!_

_Okay, it’s great sort of being on my own; if you can call living in a building with 2,000 other people, some of whom apparently never sleep, on my own. I have a roommate, Kristine who is really into the Goth scene, but she’s okay and other than her half of the room being swathed in black, I’m pretty happy. She hangs out with other people and isn’t here all that often, which allows me time to study and hang out with a few of my own friends!_

_I see Lani quite a bit, but Robbi not as much. She is already so focused on her career, or the career ahead of her it’s not even funny. She is working towards obtaining a fellowship to the Ronald Graehm Institute which studies whales and other sea mammals after senior year and only the best grades and most earnest students make it. It is based out of San Diego and is practically all she talks about. From there she will obtain her doctorate in Marine Biology and I have no doubt that she will do it all. She’s already made several visits down there to check things out and has been suitably impressed with their work. It’s interesting to watch Robbi this past year, how she has grown up I mean. Well, we’ve ALL grown up (some of us more that others) but of the three of us she is certainly the most driven, the most focused on her life. It’s funny, I always thought I was the one with a mind to the future; I want to be a journalist, it’s pretty much all I ever wanted to do since I started interviewing my Barbie dolls in kindergarten._

_For Lani, business school is one big opportunity to party. She says it’s all about ‘networking’ and meeting people and she has certainly done enough of that! She is the social butterfly among us, flitting from one bush to the other. I’d say ‘flower’ but most of these men would probably resent that. She’s discovered that she doesn’t really need to have her boobs made bigger in college; the guys here are appreciative of her just the way she is. Still, when you want to have some fun, Lani is just the person to lead you into its path and we’ve had a lot of amazing Friday nights. She hangs with the Greeks a lot and there is an endless array of parties to choose from._

_A couple of those frat boys are pretty fun and one in particular has my eye right now. His name is Carl Davis and he is a Criminal Justice major, in his junior year. Kind of wild, but still really focused on his goals, he’s a mother’s dream because he has the looks to go along with the total package! I think I might be in love!_

_LaterI_

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

“C’mon Carl, can’t I go too?” A soft kiss against his warm lips. “Please?” Another kiss, a little firmer this time. Beth traced the outline of his lips with her tongue, driving him wild. She could feel him hardening against her belly and she smiled. She had him now, she knew!

“Beth,” Carl said, trying to separate himself from her, “NO, you can’t go! It could be dangerous! There will be too many people there!”

“You could protect me, you know, with your ‘gun’! Her hand slid down the front of his slacks and caressed the ‘gun’.

“No – NO! Just back off, you’re too pushy!” He pushed her away from him, slightly harder than he had planned and he immediately felt awful for it. His tone softened as he said, “You know what? You’re hanging out with Lani too damn much!”

“All my life! Besides, you never complained about that before!” Beth stuck out her lower lip in an adorable pout.

Carl was mesmerized by that lip; he ached to kiss it, to stroke it with his tongue and enjoy everything that would happen after that. For a moment, he thought of blowing the whole night off and just staying here with Beth; he always felt this way around her, couldn’t get enough of her even though she was definitely an immovable object about some things, like wanting to go with him tonight.

He shut his eyes for a moment and mentally steeled himself as he told her, “No, you can’t go with me. Those Omega Psi Phi boys are too wild; they are too wild and I can’t keep them away from you. No, NO absolutely no, you aren’t going!”

Beth ran her finger across Carl’s lip and leaned closer to him and whispered, “You aren’t so tame yourself you know! Alright, I surrender; I’ll just stay here and study!” She smiled at him and sighed. “But you know, you going to some kind of party that I can’t go to just makes me even more curious!”

“It’s not that kind of a party, okay? Its rush week you know? There’s stuff, well, you can’t be involved in this.

There’s only one of me and 30 of them; I don’t intend getting the shit kicked out of me trying to keep you away from the brothers. This is better. Look, I’ll call you later, okay?”

Beth nodded her head and leaned up to give him one final kiss. He pulled her close and breathed in the scent of her hair, honeysuckle he thought. It reminded him of home, his grandma’s house in fact; of summertime and hanging out in the backyard with his brother and his cousins, chasing fireflies and each other until he couldn’t take another step. He missed home so much and his big brother, who had been killed in Iraq 8 years ago. He gave her one final kiss and said, “I’ll call you later, okay?”

She smiled and nodded and reluctantly watched him go; walking down the hall and disappearing down the staircase. When she couldn’t see him any longer she closed the door and settled down to study, but her mind wasn’t quite ready for that yet.

She thought about Carl instead; they had met last year in Public Speaking and had become fast friends. She liked that, the fact that they were friends first in their relationship. She didn’t have all that much experience with guys; he was only the second guy she had slept with and it was pretty intense with him. Whether or not it was because of their friendship first she didn’t know, but she was crazy about him, that much was for sure.

She picked up her lit book and prepared to do some reading but after 10 minutes of reading and re-reading the same page over and over she gave up and tossed it onto the desk in frustration. She thought for a moment about turning on the TV and decided to flip on the stereo to listen to some music instead. She kicked off her shoes and sat down on the bed, resting her head on the pillows and before she knew it she had fallen asleep.

_“I want my mommy! Mommy!” she cried out, tears streaking her small face._

_“I’m your new mommy little girl. You are going to be so happy; you’ll have a daddy now and we will all live forever, together. Don’t cry now, okay? Here, Mr. Bear wants a hug.” The scary lady held up a fuzzy brown bear and Beth looked at it, as afraid of it as she was of the woman who held it out for her._

_The scene changed and they were in an old building and the scary woman was telling her that her daddy would be there soon. “Just wait, he will love you little girl, he will. He’ll take good care of us, we’ll all be so happy…”_

_Beth shook her head no, sobbing even more loudly. Her chest and throat hurt from all the crying. All she wanted was to go home, home to her mommy, to Grams and Gramps._

_Someday she thought, someday…_

_And then he was there and she knew immediately that he would save her. She watched as they fought, violently, viciously; the sounds were chilling to listen to and made her shrink even farther into the corner. Finally he came to her, telling her he was taking her to her home, to her mommy. He had saved her… She clung to him, holding only to him tightly. She leaned against his shoulder and breathed deeply, maybe for the first time in days. He smelled of something she couldn’t identify, almost like when she dug into an old trunk in the attic. It was an almost sweet smell, but sort of like the wind blowing through the trees too; or maybe it was the ocean, she didn’t know but it made her feel safe and protected. ___

__Beth awoke with a start, sitting straight up in the bed; her body was covered in sweat and her heart was racing wildly. She looked around for a moment, trying to figure out what had made her wake up. Not that she was sorry, she hated those dreams; it only replayed the issues over and over. She listened to the Sugar Ray song on the stereo for a moment and realized that might have been what woke her up._ _

___Someday..._ _ _

___ _

_____When my life has passed me by_  
I’ll lay around and wonder why  
you were always there for me. 

___ _

_____One way_  
In the eyes of a passerby  
I’ll look around for another try  
And fade away 

___ _

_____Just close your eyes and I’ll take you there_  
This place is warm and without a care  
We’ll take a swim in the deep blue sea  
I’ll go to leave as you reach for me 

__Just then there was a knock on the door. Beth glanced at the clock and saw that it was only midnight, not all that late for dorm hours. She pushed her damp hair out of her face and swung her feet down to the floor and said,_ _

__“Just a minute!”_ _

__She padded over to the door in her bare feet and opened it up, surprised by her visitor._ _

__“Hey, is it too late to come by?” Carl was standing there, looking anxious about his reception._ _

__Beth smiled and stepped back from the door so that he could enter. “C’mon in, I fell asleep when I should have been studying. How come you left the party so soon? Did you get your ‘frat’ business all taken care of?” She closed the door and leaned against it, reaching behind her to click the lock on._ _

__Carl heard the soft click and his eyes darkened for a moment as he realized she wasn’t mad at him. Either that or she planned on killing him; it was fielder’s choice with Beth. He reached out and touched the side of her face gently and said, “I’m sorry about earlier Beth, I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind all evening.” He watched her face closely, trying to figure out how she would react. He leaned down and kissed her softly, enjoying the feel of her warm lips against his own._ _

__She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his head down again for another kiss, this one neither soft nor quick. Her lips meshed against his and opened to welcome his tongue as it delved deeply into the soft recesses of her mouth. She sucked lightly on it for a moment and then slid her arms down, resting them on his firm ass and pulling him tightly against her. She could feel his arousal and it thrilled her; she got instantly wet and all she could think of was getting rid of the clothes that stood between her and his delicious body._ _

__His tongue traced the outline of her lips before dipping back into the sweetness of her mouth again. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him, grinding her pelvis into him. He groaned and started to carry her to the bed where they could have more contact. Beth lightly bit his lip and it drove him wild; she just wanted to drink him in. Carl felt his way blindly to the bed, tripping over her shoes on the way and they both fell to the bed, their lips never separating._ _

__Beth reached down to try to unbutton his shirt and in her frustration she ripped several of the buttons completely off. She didn’t care and neither did Carl; both were only concerned with getting their clothes off immediately. Carl reached down and tugged her sweats off and she pulled her mouth away from his long enough to yank her tee shirt over her head. As Carl slid her pants down he pressed moist kisses along her belly and he felt it quiver with her anticipation._ _

__Beth was working on unbuckling his belt and mumbled, “Get your pants off, NOW. She was trying to unzip and push at the same time and he finally stood up so that he could get them quicker. As they hit the floor he kicked them aside and his shoes as well before dragging down his briefs and lying back down on the bed._ _

__Beth’s eyes were almost feverish with desire, glittering in the mellow glow of the lamp light. Carl looked down at her body and his eyes feasted on her beautiful breasts; her nipples rosy and aroused, standing in firm peaks. He swallowed hard and his mouth watered at the sight of them._ _

__Beth pulled him down against her, settling him between her legs. As he rubbed against her he felt the wetness between her legs and he rubbed himself against it, spreading it around before entering her. He settled himself inside her trembling body and leaned down to kiss her again, capturing her lips in a hungry kiss._ _

__Beth’s body responded by immediately squeezing him tightly as she lifted her hips to meet his thrusts. She felt intoxicated with need and passion; she couldn’t get enough of him. With her urging he drove into her aching body, harder and faster until neither one could catch their breath. Before they knew it they were both tumbling over the edge, careening into the abyss of satisfaction._ _

__Carl rolled off of her and pulled her to his side while they both caught their breath. Beth shivered; they were both covered with sweat and she suddenly felt chilly as their bodies came down from the plateau._ _

__"I have been thinking about this all night,” he murmured against her head. He planted a quick kiss on top of her head and then reached down to pull a folded afghan over them both._ _

__“Oh you have, huh? Sorry you didn’t take me with you?”_ _

__“Hell no, I would have been so busy trying to keep everyone’s hands off of you it would have been miserable. Well, it was miserable anyway, just in a different way. You bewitch Beth, seriously.”_ _

__“Ditto,” she said, relaxing against him. She could hear the steady beat of his heart and felt comforted. She yawned, and snuggled into his body even more, draping her leg across his. Before she knew it, she was asleep again._ _

__

__OOOOOOOOOOOO_ _

__

__Mick breathed in the cool air of the Seattle night. When he first came here he thought he would never get used to it; he had. What he had a harder time getting used to was the isolation from…familiar things. People, there he admitted it and that was the hardest part._ _

__Vamps are supposed to be solitary creatures and when he lived in LA he had thought that he was one. What he hadn’t realized was just how much contact he had with other people in his life. Now, he missed Josef and Logan, Guillermo too, just the friendly faces and bits of conversation he shared with those people. Of course, there was one other person too, but he tried really hard to not dwell on that, to keep her out of his mind. Sometimes he even almost believed that he had._ _

__But he knew better; deep down in his soul he knew better, knew that she would always and forever be a part of him, even if he never saw her again. There was a brief jolt of panic that ran through him at that thought, it tightened and twisted in his gut and he gulped in air, trying to calm himself._ _

__He remembered the only time he had ever really held her; he pulled her tightly to him so they could get out of the inferno. Her small body trembled with fear as huge blue eyes stared at the fire unblinkingly. She just watched, almost mesmerized by the flames that were licking across the room, hungrily devouring everything they touched. As he held her he felt her small human heart beating out a frantic rhythm against him; he felt her sweet warm breath against his neck as she finally hid her face against his neck. In that moment he knew that he would watch over her always, he could do nothing less._ _

__That moment had redefined his life, forever changed his priorities and values. He had these special abilities and they could be used for good in the human world, even if he wasn’t a part of it any longer. He might be on the fringes of their world, but there were things he could do to help the humans. Sometimes being a monster could be a good thing._ _

__What he didn’t want to even think about was what, if any effect it might have on her, him always hovering near. He told himself that she didn’t know, that he was just wallpaper in the background, there to ensure her safety. That was fine, until he finally realized that he didn’t want to be wallpaper any longer; that was when he knew he had to leave her to let her find her own way in life. She had others, good people who were watching her and it would be enough – it would have to be._ _

__It was strange, the feeling of security that the ‘same old same old’ provided a person. When you change that status quo, all bets were off. He felt vacant and alone, in a way he never had before. It was so tempting to call Clark and ask about her, to know how she was. She was in college now; was she happy? Did she have friends, or a boyfriend?_ _

__That last thought sent a shard of pain ripping through his heart; it was almost more than he could bear. It was what was right, a normal life for her – love, marriage and family to love. All the joy and happiness he could never give her. He wanted all that for her, those starry-eyed dreams that the young have; dreams of what lies ahead, of life. It was the right thing to do, to stay away and give her the chance for all that without him lurking in the shadows watching it all with sad eyes and an aching heart because it was someone else she was experiencing it all with. Someday she would have children of her own, little blond haired and blue eyed ones maybe, eager to explore the world themselves. He could never give her that, ever._ _

__So why couldn’t he let it go? Let her go?_ _

__He settled back in the deck chair and took a sip of his evening meal; A positive. It was fresh, still thanks to Josef’s ‘arrangements’, something that he had come to appreciate in the past year or so. A human would never be able to distinguish the differences between morgue blood and fresh but to a vamp it was like the difference between grape juice and tomato juice. Both bloods were imbued with the essence of the human it came from, but if they were dead, well, it was like it was ‘flat’. Living blood was alive with the emotions of the person who gave it. Often sweet and a little spicy, it thrilled a vampire and satisfied in a way that would be unimaginable to a human._ _

__Blood from criminals gave off a sharp taste, it filled his mouth with a sort of venom, evil. It was his right to take in vengeance and he swallowed the bitterness down as an act of triumph. Triumph over evil, over hatred or revenge. He’d swallowed the blood of murderers and thieves, of rapists and molesters and been warmed by it because the blood meant the death of the one he took it from. Humans would never understand that; the way of the vampire. Justice was swift and it was always all-encompassing; it never looked back, never regretted._ _

__No, a human could never understand. He was a monster in their eyes, in his own too. He closed his eyes and reflected on that thought, unable to shake it or the monster that lurked within._ _

__

__To be continued…_ _


	6. Chapter 6

_June 13, 1999_

_I am SO excited.Tomorrow I start a summer internship with the LA Free Press. Okay, I’ll admit it, not as a reporter, at least not to start but as a researcher, which I figure is good training too.A reporter is only as good as their ability to uncover the facts, so this is a good start.And yeah, the Free Press isn’t exactly the Times, but again, it’s a start._

_Carlis going to work in a police reserve position over the summer, which will be a good start for his future as well.I can see us someday, working crime scenes together, it would be so cool!Carl says I’m very tenacious, which is just a classy way of his saying I’m pushy.I know it, but how else do you really get the whole story unless you are willing to push?If Woodward and Bernstein didn’t push do you think we would have gotten the whole story behind Watergate?I think NOT!_

_Robbi is going off to save the whales this summer. Okay, actually she is going off to study the whales in Alaska; Humpback whales to be specific.They migrate to the colder waters of the ocean during the summer to feed.Did you know that they don’t eat during the winter?I didn’t, but whales are Robbi’s current passion and it’s practically all we have heard about from her for months, every since she made the cut to go to for the study.She will live on a ship as they monitor and study a pod of whales that have previously been tagged by the researchers.I really admire Robbi for her dedication; it will not be an easy summer for her since they are likely to encounter whalers; if that happens it will break her heart because they are not allowed to interfere, although Green Peace is usually there too and does get involved and the encounters are usually not peaceful._

_Lani is studying another species this summer, the European male.She is going on a tour of Spain, Italy, France and Greece with her aunt and uncle and two cousins.All I can say about that is that Europe has no idea what is about to hit them!I don’t understand Lani in many ways; I mean, we’ve been best friends practically forever and things just sort of fall into her lap with so little effort on her part.She finished this year with a 3.7 GPA and how I’d like to know?She never studies!She’s never around to study.A person couldn’t keep track of her social calendar and escapades if they devoted themselves to the task full time.She just flits from one thing to another with no direction, just landing wherever she may.It’s amazing, really.If ever anyone had a fairy godmother it MUST be Lani._

_It’s been a good year for me, but stressful because of classes and also because my grandmother is not doing well.Mom has had to hire a nurse to stay with her during the school year while she was teaching.She doesn’t have a particular disease really, she’s just older and getting increasingly frail.She has fallen several times and broken bones that have had difficulty healing properly; she has no appetite at all and just seems to be wasting away.She tells me that she is just old and misses grandpa; that she just wants to be with him again.I understand that, but I guess I’m selfish; if he has her then I don’t.She’s the only grandmother I’ve even had, ever known and I can’t imagine my life without her.I never lacked for anything in my life that love and support could provide, directly due to her, my mom and Clark.How do you let that go?How do I let her go?_

_Later._

 

Beth was helping her mom wash the dinner dishes after her first day at her internship.It had been an exciting day; they only thing that kept it from being perfect was that Carl wasn’t there to hear about it.He was still as the Reserve Officer Training Course and wouldn’t be back until the end of the week.When he did get back, he would be riding along with regular officers on the 3rd watch.Which meant limited time for them to see each other, but Beth was okay with that; this was his dream and she knew how important it was to him.

"So Carl will be a police officer after this training?” her mom asked as she pulled the plug to let the sink drain.The Turner household did not own a dishwasher, her mom hated them.Beth was determined that she would never live in a house without one.

“No, he’ll be a certified Reserve Officer Mom.After he graduates in December he will go to the Police Academy and then after that he’ll be an officer.”

“Carl is a fine young man Beth and certainly very bright.He’s really pushed himself to graduate in December I know.That isn’t easy; he must be really dedicated to his goals to accomplish that!”

Beth mumbled an ‘mm hm’ and turned away so that her mom wouldn’t see the amused smile she wore as she listened to her mom’s words.Yes, Carl was certainly goal-oriented, but he was also a frat boy; party was his middle name.Just a month ago he had taught her how to chug a beer in one gulp.He couldn’t manage to teach her how NOT to throw it right back up, but she could get it down.She knew her mom also wouldn’t appreciate some of the other skills Carl had taught her.

Carl was only her second lover but he had certainly helped her to discover what sex was all about.Her first lover had never quite managed to help her get to the goal post, so to speak.She knew how to accomplish that on her own, but she had begun to believe that it just wasn’t going to happen with a guy.And then Carl entered the picture and all bets were off.She felt like she couldn’t get enough of him and this past two weeks without him had seemed endless.

"Dorothy!”

They both heard Clark’s frantic yell from the living room and turned to head in there on the run.When they got to the living room Clark was on the phone with 911.Grams was half sitting, half lying on the couch and the right side of her face was drooping, her right arm hanging limply at her side over the arm of the couch.

“MOM,” Dorothy said, dropping to her knees in front of her mother.“Mom, can you speak?”Grace Turner only stared with blank eyes at her daughter, unable to speak.Dorothy reached out and wiped a small bit of saliva off of the corner of her mother’s mouth and listed to Clark as he directed the ambulance where to come.He hung up the phone finally and knelt down next to Dorothy, taking one of Grace’s chilled hands into his own.

Beth stood rooted in the doorway, unable to move or speak.She watched the scene before her as if from a tunnel and finally crumpled to her knees in shock, tears streaming down her face.She finally sat down and leaned against the doorway and prayed they would hear the sirens soon that would herald the arrival of the rescue crew.

“What happened Clark?” Dorothy asked.She grabbed an afghan off the back of the couch and tucked it around her mother, still trying to get her to respond.

Clark shrugged his shoulders and said, “We were watching Wheel of Fortune and chatting occasionally.I asked her what she thought the third word was and she didn’t answer so I looked at her and saw her face.I don’t know when it happened, a – a few minutes before that I think.It couldn’t have been too long.”

Dorothy was rubbing Grace’s hand vigorously, trying to warm it while saying, “Mom, can you hear me?Blink your eyes if you can!” but there was no response.

“She’s still breathing, that’s a good sign I think,” Clark said, watching her chest rise and fall with shallow breaths.He looked at Dorothy expectantly, hoping that he was right.

They heard the sirens approaching and Clark said, “Beth, go to the door to let them in!”He looked over his shoulder to where Beth was sitting unmoving.“BETH!The door – now!”

Beth stared at him and shook herself alert.She heard the sirens too and stood up and made her way to the door, opening it as the rescue crew pulled up in front of the house.She held the door open as she stood silently, watching them enter the house and start to assess Grams condition.

“Pupils fixed and dilated,” one of the EMT’s said as the other one wrapped a blood pressure cuff around her tiny arm.“Can you tell us what happened?”

Beth listened as Clark told them what he knew.They were listening to her grandmother’s heart and charting vital signs.“We need to transport her to the hospital folks.It looks like she has had a stroke.”They left the house briefly to retrieve a gurney and returned with it.After they got her strapped into it they talked with Dorothy as they decided on the hospital they would take her to.Clark would drive Beth and Dorothy, following the ambulance.Dorothy grabbed her purse and locked the door behind them, only a minute or so after the ambulance had left, the siren screaming into the quiet evening.

Beth hadn’t said a word since it had happened; she woodenly moved along after her mother into the hospital emergency room and stood behind her, listening as her mother provided insurance information to the clerk.Clark was parking the car and would join them as soon as he was done.

They sat in the waiting room; listening for their name to be called for an update on Grace’s condition.None of them talked; Beth leaned her head back against the pale green wall and decided she needed to pray but she couldn’t find any words.All that went through her head was ‘please don’t let her die’ and she chastised herself for that.Did that mean that regardless of her condition let her live?Her grandmother wouldn’t want that.

So just what are you asking for Beth?

Finally their name was called and they followed a nurse down several twisting corridors to get to where Grace was being monitored.A doctor and another nurse were checking her responses and monitors.Beth watched as the doctor shook his head and made a note on a chart before turning to introduce himself to them.

“Hi, Dr. Abrams.” He looked at Dorothy and asked, “You are her daughter?”

“Yes, I’m Dorothy Turner; this is my daughter Beth and a friend of the family, Clark Griffin.What can you tell us Dr. Abrams?”

"Your mother had a cerebral hemorrhage, specifically located in her brain stem.It happened when she had a stroke most likely; the two conditions often happen together.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that she is bleeding into her brain Ms. Turner.It is grave in this instance.Tests show no brain function.”

“How can you tell this?You certainly haven’t had time to do a CT scan or anything.”

“No, we haven’t, but all the information tells us that this is what has happened.”He described several of the indicators of the condition and Dorothy and Clark both noted that they had noticed some of the symptoms earlier.

“Ms. Turner, does your mother have a living will?” he asked gently.

A small sob escaped Dorothy’s lips as she nodded solemnly.“Yes, she does. She didn’t want to be kept alive artificially.But she’s not on a respirator so does that indicate that she may recover?”

“No.”He indicated one of the machines on a rack and pointed to a readout that was displayed on it.“As you can see, she has no brain function at all; right now her body is basically breathing through her body’s automatic reflex.Eventually, soon I believe, that will stop and she will pass.I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but it is what will happen.”

“Which is why you asked about the living will I guess?”

Dr. Abrams nodded yes, looking at the machines as one of them beeped softly in the quiet of the room.“Her heart is slowing down now, she doesn’t have long.Would you like to say your goodbyes?”

Tears were streaking Dorothy’s face as she nodded.Clark stood by her side, his arm around her shoulders and she turned her head and laid it on his shoulder, half covering her face.

Dr. Abrams nodded to the nurse and they started to leave the room.Beth watched all this in horror and finally found her voice and screamed, “No, NO! Don’t leave her, please, you can save her, I know you can.”She ran to her grandmother’s side and sobbed, “Come on Grams, don’t leave, you can get better.Please, please…”

Dorothy went to her daughter and tried to gently pull her away from her grandmother.“Beth honey, it’s time to let her go.Don’t make this more difficult for everyone.Just tell her goodbye and let her go in peace.”Her own tears were practically blinding Dorothy, but she knew she had to help Beth.“Beth - Bethy, let her go.”

At the word ‘Bethy’, her grandmother’s pet name for her she fell completely apart and sank to the floor, unable to control herself.“No, she can’t go momma, she can’t.I’m not ready.”Clark picked her up in his arms and sat her down into a chair and knelt down in front of her.

“Beth, I know sweetie, but your grandmother is ready for this.She’s been ready for a long time now.”He pulled Beth against his chest and felt her shudder with her anguish as sobs wracked her small body. Beth wrapped her arms around his neck and held onto him, sobbing all the harder because she knew that he spoke the truth; Grams was ready and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she knew it was true.

When her sobs had abated a bit he tilted her head up so that he could look into her eyes.“C’mon sweetie, tell her goodbye, okay?”

Dorothy watched as all this played out in front of her and thought briefly about all the years she had wasted, keeping herself from this loving man.This had shown her that she couldn’t waste any more time and she knew that soon they would have to talk about it all.Right now she had this situation to deal with and she looked down again at her mother, wishing that this journey would be easy for her.Dorothy was determined that she would let her mother go as peacefully as she could.

She brushed a stray lock of hair off of Grace’s forehead and then bent to kiss the wrinkled skin.It felt cool and dry to her lips and she brushed one of her own tears off of her mother’s cheek and tried to smile.“Momma, I will miss you so much, but I won’t stand in your way.I know how much you miss daddy and want to be with him.I love you; my life was so much better because of you and I owe you so much.Go to him momma; be happy.”She bent to kiss her one last time.

Beth was now standing next to her and heard her words.“I love you Grams; give Gramps a hug from his princess for me, okay?I’ll miss you always.”

Clark stood behind them and put his arm around both of them and felt tears streak his own cheeks.Having lost both of his parents he understood their pain; only time would help them feel better, but he intended to be there for both of them, as he had always been.

The monitor started beeping rapidly just then and then settled into one long continuous tone and the doctor and nurse rushed back into the small room.They examined Grace and finally the doctor said, “Time of death, 9:17 pm.”

The nurse made a note in the chart and they both left the room again, giving the family a few last minutes.All three of them stood together, pained by the event but determined to stand strong, together.

 

OOOOOOOOOOO

 

The call came at 2:00 am.Mick was working on some case files in his office and sipping a glass of blood.He had felt restless all evening, out of sync with the world and had finally decided to try to take his mind off of it by getting some long past-due work out of the way.

“Michael Sandoval Investigations,” his voice said quietly through the phone line.

“Mick.”

Only one word, but he immediately recognized the caller and was suddenly on edge; something was wrong.“Clark, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Grace; she passed this evening.I – I thought you would want to know.”

Mick’s heart sank and he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment, picturing Grace in his mind.She was always such a lively and kind woman, taking care of everyone.He cleared his throat and finally said, “And, uh, the family?How are they?”It almost killed Mick to say ‘the family’ but he couldn’t bring himself to say her name.He didn’t even allow himself to think it any longer; it was better this way.

“In shock, hurting. All the usual emotions.She had a cerebral hemorrhage, but still, she went fairly quickly and I hope peacefully.It was really hard on, uh, her Mick, on Beth, but she’s tough, she’ll make it.”

The line was quiet for a minute; there didn’t seem to be anything else to say, so finally Mick said, “Thanks for letting me know Clark; I really appreciate it.Let me know if there is anything I can do, you know?”

“Yeah Mick, I will.You take care, okay?”Clark paused for a moment and drew in a deep breath and then added, "She knows you aren't here any more Mick; she misses you."

Mick swallowed hard at those words and he hung his head for a moment and closed his eyes tightly.His heartbeat frantically for a moment but he only said, “You too Clark, you too.”The line went dead and Mick listened to the tuneless buzz for a few seconds before hanging up.

He allowed himself to think of her face for a moment and a memory came to him.She was 5 and Clark had been teaching her to ride a bicycle.She was determined to do it without training wheels because they were for ‘sissies’ she had said.Mick had watched from the sideline, hidden amongst some trees as she had pedaled furiously and Clark ran along behind her as she tried to steady herself.

Finally, after several hours and several cuts and scrapes later she had it mastered.It was dusk and as Clark let go she tore down the street, all on her own, yelling her delight.She flew past Mick, racing down to the end of the cul de sac and turned around, heading back down to where Clark waited, a silly and proud grin on his face.

As she got in front of Mick her bike wheel hit a pot hole and she went flying over the handlebars and hit the pavement hard.Mick immediately heard a ‘whoosh’ as the wind was knocked out of her and before he could help himself he was there, picking her up in his arms and willing her to start breathing again.

Suddenly she caught her breath and gulped in a huge lung full and opened her eyes, only to see Mick staring at her. Clark got there then and Mick quickly handed her to him, dismayed to have been caught watching.

Clark smiled to see Mick; somehow it was okay that he watched and it wasn’t totally unexpected from what he had been told about this man.They looked at one another, each taking the other’s measure and then they both smiled and nodded.Beth was squirming and asking to be put down so she could ride some more.

“Only to the house, okay?You’ve had enough for one night Beth and it’s getting too dark anyway.Go on now,” he told her and they both watched as she climbed back on the bike and headed off to the house.She turned for a moment to stare at them and Clark said, “Pay attention to where you are going Beth!Do you want to hit another pot hole?”

She laughed and started singing some nameless song, undaunted by it all.Clark offered his hand to Mick and said, “I’m Clark, Logan’s older brother.It’s nice to meet you Mick, officially I mean.Thank you for all you’ve done for my brother Mick – for saving him I mean.”

“Yeah, it is.I’m uh, sorry to have been watching.I don’t mean anything by it.”

“I know and it’s okay.It sort of relieves me to know that someone else is watching too.Anytime Mick, anytime at all.”

They shook hands and Clark nodded in Beth’s direction; she was waiting for him at the driveway.Mick took one last look at Beth and stepped back into the shadows; out of site.Clark headed towards Beth, a smile on his face.

Coming back to the present Mick acknowledged her tenacity and determination.He knew she would be okay.

 

OOOOOOOOOO

 

 

Two weeks later Dorothy was opening the mail and found a letter from a local children’s shelter.It stated that an anonymous donation had been made in her mother’s name for $25,000 dollars.Dorothy sank down on the couch and held the letter to her chest as she cried; deep wracking sobs that made her throat ache.When she finally got herself under control she managed a small smile as she re-read the letter.

Thank you Mr. St. John…


	7. Chapter 7

_January 4, 2000_

_Wow, it seems weird to write that number; a new millennium, a new chance for us all perhaps? The earth didn’t stop spinning on its axis, the computer’s around the world didn’t all crash – life has went on, much like before. Y2K is now just a memory._

_Things have been really hectic the past few days; and heartbreaking as well. I know diary, I haven’t written in a while, but as I said, well things are kind of crazy right now._

_Where to start? Good things first I guess. Robbi is engaged! Yep, she and Kevin have decided to get married after her graduation next year. They met last summer on the ship in Alaska and I must say he is perfect for her. He is already a marine biologist and they really ‘get’ one another, that’s for sure. Kevin is tall, with blonde, surfer boy appeal and looks adorable in his nerdy ‘doctor’ glasses. Robbi adores him and you can tell by looking at him that the feeling is mutual. He already works for the Graehm Institute and they will probably work on many projects together. There are several couples that work together there which is kind of a good thing because a lot of the studies involve many months away from home as they study different species. Anyway, way to go Robbi and Kevin – I hope you will be very happy._

_Lani, well – this year has been a bit of a struggle for her, academically. She has actually had to hit the books to maintain her grades since the HR subjects are getting more intense. But you know what? I think it’s been really good for her and she says she agrees. She is very focused on her goal and has already been courted by several large firms and if all goes well she will be well-set after graduation. She has wonderful negotiation skills (can we actually say ‘manipulation’ here) and is proving to be an effective trainer as well. Seriously, she has always been the natural leader among the three of us and all this doesn’t really surprise me at all, although I think it does her!_

_And diary, there is another engagement to celebrate! My mom and Clark are engaged! It happened over Christmas, but I have to say I’m not really surprised, only a bit confused as to why it never happened before. They are so perfect for one another, always have been! They are getting married in May, after school is out. Ever since Grams died they have been closer; I think it is safe to say that mom wouldn’t have known what to do without Clarks support during that time – I know that I wouldn’t have. He has always felt like a dad to me and so I welcome him to my family – officially – with more than open arms._

_Carl graduated in December, as planned and with honors I might add. He now has his bachelor’s in Criminal Justice and starts the police academy in February. He is really excited and I know that he will make a wonderful cop; he is honest and has so much integrity. Yeah, he was a fun-loving frat boy here in college, but he was always more than that and has proven himself in so many ways._

_The sad news is that he and I are no longer together. We tried, but I think in many ways we are just too different. We’ve tried, but when the trying became harder than the just being, we both knew it was time to end it. I think I can say that we will always be friends; there was nothing hateful in the breakup, just recognition that this was the best thing for both of us. I wish him the best of luck and happiness in his life, always…_

_Later._

 

Two weeks before…

Mick smiled as he recognized the number on his caller ID and picked up the phone with a “What do you want Josef?”

“What, is that anyway to talk to your best friend? Tsk tsk, here I was planning on inviting you to my New Year’s Eve party! After all, we gotta party like its 1999! Or so Prince tells us anyway.”

The words grabbed at Mick’s heart, causing a momentary bit of panic. He hadn’t been back to LA in, well since he’d left. He pondered for a moment if he was ready to go back. He remembered Clarks words when Grace had died, that Beth knew he wasn’t there:

"She knows you aren't here anymore Mick; she misses you."

God, he missed her too, watching her from afar, seeing her smile light up her face, hearing her laughter. Could he risk going back?

Josef could feel his hesitancy and said, “Come on Mick, it’s time to come for a visit! I promise to have lots of ‘red’ on tap for you!”

Still Mick hesitated. Frankly, he wasn’t sure he could trust himself to go back and not be drawn back into her life. It was safe being a thousand miles away and every now and again a whole day would go by and he wouldn’t see her face in his mind, wouldn’t wonder what she was doing, if she were happy. It had to stay that way and he was just about to tell Josef that he couldn’t make it when Josef said, “Look Mick, I know that something is keeping you away. I know we’ve never talked about what it is, but boyo, it’s time to come back here and face it. You can’t run forever Mick.”

Can’t I? I can certainly try…

Mick cleared his throat and tried to think of something to say to Josef but the truth was that there was nothing he could say to justify not going. He certainly didn’t want to get into the whole reason behind his coming to Seattle now. Would it be so bad if he just went for a day or so? He just wouldn’t allow himself to think about her while he was there, it was that simple: just don’t do it. He was strong enough for that; he believed that didn’t he?

Didn’t he?

“Okay, I’ll come down for the party Josef, but that’s all. I’m not staying, are you hearing me on this? If you are planning on coaxing me back you might as well give it up.”

Mick’s word stunned Josef; he had been prepared to launch into his next set of prepared reasons why he should come when Mick agreed. For a moment he was speechless – well, almost!

“Well, great. I’ll send the jet up for you, okay? Full prodigal son treatment, how’s that sound?”

“Just keep it simple, okay Josef? Don’t make me regret saying yes!”

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Beth sat in the auditorium with her mother, Clark, Lani and several of Carl’s cousins, watching him graduate from UCLA, with honors, top of his class. Beth was so proud of him; he had so much going for him, a completely new phase of his life was beginning today. She watched as he walked across the stage and accepted his diploma as she stood and cheered, along with the others in their group.

As he retreated across the stage, a huge grin splashed across his face she sat down and thought about the past couple of days; they had argued several times about a story she was working on for the campus paper. Carl didn’t want her involved with it because there was a serial rapist on campus and he felt that her efforts to expose the rapist put her right in the line of fire. All of the arguments had ended the same way – a stalemate with neither one of them willing to concede their point. Things were a bit tense right now, to say the least.

At the party later that night Beth received another call, the rapist had struck again; a solitary co-ed in campus housing, the typical MO. She was mostly alone since classes were over for the semester and many students had left to go home for the holidays. Beth made her excuses and went to grab her coat and purse so that she could head over to the dorm.

“Beth, you’re not leaving now are you?” he had asked, deep brown eyes staring into soft blue ones.

“Yes. I have to cover it for the paper Carl, you know that. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Then I’m coming with you Beth, it’s too dangerous for you to go running around out there alone with this guy on the prowl. Hang on for a minute while I get my coat.”

“Carl, it’s really not neces…” Her words trailed off as Carl went to get his coat. He was back a minute later and they made their way to his car. She took her seat and sat patiently while Carl got in and waited for him to start the car.

He put the key in the ignition but instead of turning it he leaned back in the seat and turned his head to look at her. She met his gaze and tried to read what was in his eyes, but they were masked, hiding his thoughts from her. Her gut twisted for a moment, knowing that sooner or later he was going to have some things to say and she doubted if she was going to like them.

He let out a huge sigh and reached to turn the key on. The car started quickly and he flipped the lights on and put the car into gear. Wordlessly they drove to the dorm, each one with heavy thoughts on their mind.

For the two hours it took Beth to talk to the police and a few witnesses, Carl waited patiently, observing the scene with a cop’s eye, missing nothing and noting with satisfaction that the investigators didn’t either. This was the fourth rape this semester and they were only now just beginning to get a bead on the guy. Beth plastering it all across the front page of the paper didn’t help anything either. The guy was going to be caught, soon most likely but until then she was right in the line of fire.

She’s a big girl and had to live her life as she saw fit; he got that. But it didn’t make for a peaceful night of sleep for him. He admired her tenacity and the long hours of dedication she put into the job; but standing by and watching it was a different matter. His thoughts were interrupted as she came over to where he was waiting for her, shrugging into her coat.

“You’re ready?” he asked.

“Yeah, we can go. I’ll write up the story tomorrow.”

He nodded and opened the door for her as they left the dorm building. Both were silent as they walked to the car in the quiet of the night, their footsteps sounding loud and sharp on the pavement. Carl looked up at the inky sky and watched as his breath turned frosty in the cold night air as he walked around the car to get in.

After he had started the car he turned it in the direction of Glendale, heading to her mother’s house since she was staying there over the holidays. The ride went fast at that time of night but it seemed interminable to both of them; the silence between them roaring loudly, exacerbated by the tension that filled the air. Both of them were lost in their own distressing thoughts; a prelude to what was coming.

Carl pulled the car into the driveway and turned the ignition off. He took a deep breath and looked at Beth, seeing her swallow quickly, watching the muscles in her neck tense with the effort. He knew how that felt; he had a knot about the size of a tennis ball in his own throat right now.

“Beth…”

“Carl…”

Both began at the same time and both closed their mouths nervously as the other began. Beth felt the corners of her mouth turn up in a tense smile that was really a grimace and she said, “Go ahead.”

“Beth…I, you know I admire what you do, your enthusiasm for your job. I do, it’s admirable. Some day you are going to make the best reporter imaginable. And as much as it is hard for those of us around you to watch you constantly pushing the limits to get the story, well, we also know that you wouldn’t be who you were if you didn’t. But it IS hard; so hard to stand by, knowing that you sometimes don’t think of the danger you are in as you work those stories. And someday, when you are working for the Times or somewhere else just as impressive the need to push will be multiplied even further. Beth – I, I don’t think I can handle that. I’m trying, I really am but I can’t focus on my own life while I’m so worried about yours. This is pretty lame, I’ll admit it, but I just can’t handle it.”

Beth reached over and took his hand; it felt warm to her chilled fingers. “Carl, I do understand, really. But this IS who I am; I can’t change that, not even for you. Maybe it’s some sort of flaw in me, I don’t know, but I have to follow my dream, the way you have to follow yours.” She felt warm tears beginning to streak her face and she ignored them; they would be the first of many she knew. “It has been pretty good though, hasn’t it? You’ve changed my life. I’ve learned so much from you.”

“Yeah. Never could teach you to keep the beer down though,” he quipped, trying to lighten the moment a bit. He realized he had tears running down his own face right now as well; he also realized that there wasn’t going to be a magic save here – that this was goodbye. He heard her stifle a small sob and he raised her hand to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to her palm. He licked his lips and said, “I want you to be happy, okay? Go out there and knock them dead in the news world. I know you can.”

Beth laid her hand on his cheek, gently wiping away a tear. “I will, I will. You too, you’re going to be an amazing cop you know. Police chief someday maybe? Carl, I want you to be happy too; go out there and find what you are looking for okay?” As soon as the words left her lips she threw open the car door and dashed towards the front door of the house.

When she got to the door Carl watched as she fumbled through her purse looking for her key. When she had found it she inserted it into the door and turned the key in the lock. The door opened and Beth turned to look at him one last time. He saw her trying to smile through her tears and she half raised her hand to him before disappearing inside the house. He sat for a moment before he started the car and backed out of the driveway to head home, feeling more alone than he ever had in his life.

 

OOOOOOOOOO

 

Josef sent the jet for Mick on December 30th and Mick settled in for the journey to LA. He watched the lights below him as the jet streaked through the night, tiny pinpoints of light, far away and belonging to another world. He had almost backed out at the last moment; only a brief taunting call from Josef who had anticipated a last minute ditching effort had kept him on course and gotten him on the jet.

The flight was altogether too short Mick thought as he fought a moment of panic rise in his chest as he heard the landing gear come down. Soon they were touching lightly down and he held his breath as the jet taxied to the hangar, finally releasing it in a giant ‘whoosh’ as the jet stopped. It didn’t take long to de-plane and he watched as the limo pulled up and the door opened for him.

As he crawled inside he wasn’t surprised to find Josef seated there, along with some ‘liquid refreshment’.

“To provide succor for the weary traveler, of course,” he stated, offering the wrist of the red head to Mick, who declined. She sank back into the seat of the limo, a pouty expression on her beautifully painted red lips. Josef patted her arm comfortingly and murmured, “Later my dear.”

Mick quirked at eyebrow upwards and shook his head as he watched Josef and the freshie. He thought of times past when he might have not have passed on the opportunity and wondered where all his abstention had gotten him; certainly not any happier, that was for sure. He absolutely felt better by at least drinking fresh these past years in Seattle; he owed a lot to Josef for forcing that issue he acknowledged.

Josef watched several different emotions play across his friends face before Mick saw him watching and his face became a blank mask. In many ways he looked so much better than he had for years; the healthy, fresh blood had done him a lot of good but he could still tell that whatever Mick was carrying around emotionally was still there. Whatever had prompted the move to Seattle hadn’t gotten better; Josef knew that it wouldn’t until Mick finally opened up about it and he knew that it needed to be soon. Dark and brooding may look sexy as hell, but Mick wasn’t benefiting from it so it was worthless in the long run.

As soon as they got to Josef’s house in the hills Mick accepted a glass of A positive from Josef and sipped it as he looked around. Not much had changed in the past few years he realized.

“A positive, in your honor,” Josef said, raising his glass in a salute. “Enjoy!” He sipped his own glass and said, “I still don’t know what you like about this stuff so much though!”

Mick only smiled and asked about the upcoming party. He sat down on a sofa and crossed his long legs and settled in to listen to Josef talk about the party.

“Mostly vamps, but a few friends of the family too, a hundred or so people I guess. Oh, and the girls too; after all, we need to provide for the needs or desires of the guests. I’ve had them on a special regimen the past week or so, vitamins, diet, etc. I’m sure the demand for their services will be appreciated by many.”

“Probably,” Mick conceded. Josef was well-known for his selection of freshies and parties at his house always meant free-flowing refreshments. Mick finished his drink and stood up, intending to head for the freezer.

“So soon? You just got here Mick. It’s not sunrise for a couple more hours!”

“Yeah, well I’m pretty tired. In order to make the trip down here I had to push pretty hard to get some things done before I left, not much freezer time the past few days. I’m assuming you want me perky tomorrow night?” He smiled as he said the last and watched as Josef almost choked on a mouthful of blood. The smile turned a bit wicked and he added, “I’m assuming you have me in my old guest room?”

Josef sputtered, “Perky?” before coughing in to a handkerchief. When he recovered he nodded and said, “Yeah, same old room. Good night.” He watched as Mick left the room and muttered, “Perky?” He started laughing then and couldn’t stop. Perky!

 

OOOOOOOOOOO

 

The party appeared to be a huge success. Everyone, vamp and human seemed to be having a great time Mick observed as he grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. It was two minutes until midnight and he wanted to be prepared. He acknowledged that he was actually having a good time, catching up with a few old friends and meeting a few new ones.

One of the new ones made her way to where he was standing and smiled at him. She was beautiful he thought and fascinating too. She was tiny, by most standards, even for a female, only about 5 feet tall and if she weighed 90 pounds soaking wet he would be surprised. When he first met her he couldn’t decide if she were of Spanish origin or what but he had since learned that she was Sioux, Native American, turned in 1837 after a battle between the Sioux and their enemies the Crow.

He skin was flawless copper, with high cheekbones and wide coffee - colored eyes that had tiny laugh lines that crinkled at the corners when she smiled. And she smiled a lot Mick noticed. Her lips were a deep rosy pink color and if she were wearing any make up Mick couldn’t see it; that in itself was unusual in today’s society. He was intrigued, more than he wanted to admit.

He lifted his glass towards her and said, “Hi Elka. Almost midnight I see.”

“Um, yes.” She looked around the room, noticing that everyone was getting ready for the moment. “I just wanted to be assured that if the worst happens and everything goes dark I’d be with someone who could take care of me,” she laughed.

Mick laughed as well and said, “I have no doubt that you could take care of not only yourself by me too if necessary. But I’m glad you came over! So, care to make a bet? Does the world stop in,” he looked at his watch and added, “um, 45 seconds?”

She laughed again and it sounded to Mick like water that trickled down a small brook, sort of a tinkling and he knew that he wanted to hear it again. “No, no bets, we’ll just have to wait and see what happens, shall we?” She placed her arm through Mick’s and they waited as everyone in the room started the 10 second count down.

Mick looked down at her arm, startled for a moment and then felt unexpectedly thrilled.

“Two, one – Happy New Year!” the crowd roared. Mick looked down at her as she licked her lips and that was all encouragement he needed; he bent and pressed his own against Elka’s and savored the feel of them against his. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but he wanted more. From her darkened eyes, he knew she did too.

Just then they were interrupted by Kelly, who he had met earlier. She had a slight frown on her face as she looked at them both and faced Mick. Elka looked at her and excused herself for a moment to go and greet another old acquaintance.

“Kelly, Happy New Year,” Mick said, starting to take a drink from his glass, only to realize it was empty.

Kelly was a cleaner and even though she wasn’t on duty tonight she was still dressed in black leather. She was attractive, in a sort of ‘in your face’ kind of way, but for some reason she sort of creeped Mick out.

“Happy New Year to you too Mick,” she said and then reached up to pull his head down for a kiss that lingered just a bit too long in Mick’s opinion. She smiled at him and said, “I know you aren’t going to be in town for long Mick, but I wanted to give you my number.” She gave him a card with her information on it and said, “You know, there doesn’t have to be a cleanup for you to call me Mick!”

Mick stared at her for a moment, trying to find a way to escape. She was certainly straight forward; he had to give her that. She saw the panic on his face and gave him an amused look before turning and walking away.

Those old-fashioned guys! But wow is he hot!

A waiter came by and he sat his glass down on the tray and looked around the room to find Elka. They had unfinished business and he was looking forward to the negotiation.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Beth sat in the living room at her Mom’s house her eyes blankly staring at the TV as the typical New Years Eve programming was on. She had decided to stay at home tonight with her mom and Clark instead of going out with Lani and other friends. Robbi was in Utah for the holidays with Kevin’s family and wouldn’t be back for another week. Lani was out partying like mad she was sure; Lani never let an opportunity for a party go by.

Dorothy and Clark both stared at Beth surreptitiously from time to time, worried sick about her. Since she and Carl had broken up there was no sparkle in her eyes, no laughter, and no joy in her life. Dorothy and Clark talked about it a lot; they both knew that she was hurting, it was to be expected, especially since Carl was the first man she had ever really cared about. They heard her pacing the floors at night and more than once saw her stare at the phone as if fighting herself to keep from picking it up.

As midnight approached Dorothy went to get a bottle of champagne for them to share. She brought it and three glasses into the living room on a tray and Clark opened it, popping the cork. It launched itself across the room, hitting a chair with a loud ‘thump’. As the champagne bubbled out of the bottle Dorothy tried to catch it with the glasses and laughed as she mopped up the excess that had spilled onto the floor. She held a glass out to Beth, softly calling her name.

“Beth? Beth sweetie, do you want a glass?” Dorothy asked.

“I – uh, what?” Beth asked before noticing the proffered glass. For a moment she was tempted to turn it down and then decided it was easier to take it. Go with the flow, anything so that they wouldn’t ask questions or pity her. She had seen their eyes, she knew she was pathetic right now, how could she not be? “Sure Mom, thanks.”

The TV flashed midnight and all three raised their glasses. Clark bent to kiss Dorothy and then pulled away at the last moment, a movement that Beth noticed.

“For God’s sake, kiss her! It’s New Years, your first official New Years together.”

They looked at her and one another. Clark bent and briefly kissed her and then they both pulled away, guilty at the bit of pleasure they felt being together when Beth was so unhappy.

Beth sat her glass down on the coffee table and stood up, looking at both of them; seeing the pain and pity in their eyes. It was the last that she could take of this.

“Enough! Enough of all of this! I can’t handle all of this tip-toeing around me, the worried glances, and the fear in your faces! Yes, Carl and I broke up. We did, we can’t go back. We wouldn’t even if we could, it wasn’t meant to be, don’t you get that? It wasn’t a case of one of us cheating, or betraying the other, it was about just not being ‘right’ for each other. It hurts okay? It hurts so fucking much, but I will be okay, I will.” She left the room, heading for the bedroom.

_I will, I will be okay…_


	8. Chapter 8

_May 18, 2000_

_My Mom and Clark are getting married on Saturday! I’m so excited for them and I’m going to be the maid of honor, which seems weird in a wonderful kind of way. It won’t be a huge blow-out wedding but it will still be nice. She won’t be wearing white, which I think is ridiculous but she says she’s too old for that! Hasn’t she seen any of the tabloids for heaven’s sake? Wearing white is no big deal any more, but she is adamant about it. Her dress is simply beautiful though, ivory lace over ivory satin, floor length with a slim design that hugs her body all the way to the floor. I teased her that if she had to run in that sucker she’d be in trouble!_

_My dress is royal blue satin, off the shoulder and an A line as well, so that counts me out for the running thing too. Still, it looks very sophisticated and I feel quite adult in it because I’ve never owned a dress like this before. I am an adult of course, but we just generally don’t have dresses like this hanging around in our closets, or at least I don’t. Lani came with Mom and I to help pick out the dresses and she has surprisingly good taste, which actually shocked Mom a bit I think. Robbi met us at the dress shop and agreed, they were the perfect dresses for us._

_Afterwards we all had lunch at Langdon’s, an uber-pricey bistro in downtown LA. None of us had ever been there before but it was really good. We all laughed when the check arrived and saw that it was $300 dollars, just for lunch but mom only shrugged and slid her gold card onto the tray._

_She told us you only live once and sometimes you just gotta splurge! We all had felt a bit guilty at the cost but it was fun. We continued out our shopping by hitting shoe stores next and after a couple more hours we were done. I love my shoes, but it isn’t going to be pleasant having to stand in them for hours. The things we must do to look good!_

_A year from now we’ll all be doing this again for Robbi’s wedding. It seems like a long time from now but I know that the time will fly by. It will be our last year of college and senior year can sometimes be a killer they tell us._

_I will be working at the LA Free Press again this summer and Robbi will again take to the high seas. Even Lani isn’t spared this year; she will work at a major banking firm in the HR department as an intern in the training division. She says she is looking forward to it with no regrets about not being able to travel this summer. In fact, she seems really excited about it; mom says that she is finally growing up. Now diary, isn’t that a scary thought?_

_My shadow man is on my mind a lot lately - well, always. Sometimes I look into the distant sunset or out at the shadows of the night and I yearn for him; for the knowledge of him, the sanctity and safety of knowing he is around. Yes, I said knowing. He was there, for years he was there I know and I have to believe he still is. I still imagine meeting him someday; I'll just look at him and know. I will..._

_Later._

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Mick waited at the airport to pick up Elka; he was excited to see her again. She was an interesting woman and he always enjoyed himself with her. This was the first time she had come to Seattle though and he was a bit nervous about it.

Mick had stayed in LA over the holidays for a week and they had spent a good deal of time together, getting to know one another. They talked often on the phone and once they had met in San Francisco, her home.

He watched as the jet taxied up to the jet way and waited for the passengers as they exited the plane. When he finally saw her he felt himself grinning like an idiot because he was so happy to see her. She ran lightly into his arms and he held her close for a moment, breathing in her spicy scent that was some kind of mixture of cinnamon, vanilla with some kind of musk to it. It was delicious and woodsy and perfect for her.

“Hi,” he said, kissing her lightly and holding her tightly against him. “Good flight?”

“Meh…the only good thing was the thought of you waiting on this end. At least it’s not a long flight.” She looked around and said, “So, this is Seattle?”

“No, this is Sea-Tac airport! The city of Seattle awaits you, outside the door madam!” he teased, waving his arm wide for her to see.

She laughed and said, “Well, I’ve got everything I need is in my carryon bags so let’s go see this city!”

“All you need? Doesn’t look like much to me!”

“Well, I’m hoping we’ll stay in a lot and that I won’t need that many clothes!” She winked at him and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the doors.

“Whatever you want!”

At Mick’s house she wasted very little time looking around and even less time removing her clothes. Mick scrambled to follow suit and his quickly hit the floor before he swept her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

“So, you have a bed huh? I thought you said you didn’t?” she said as he pulled the covers back with one hand and then laid her down amongst the pillows.

“Didn’t, until yesterday,” he grinned. She could see his face in the pale moonlight that seeped in through the window blinds and she reached up to caress it lightly, tracing along his nose and down over his lips. Her lips followed her fingers, pressing against him urgently.

He could smell her arousal and his body responded readily to it; his lips left hers and trailed downward to lick teasingly along her collar bone. He heard a soft moan escape her parted lips and he smiled as he continued his journey, finally settling on her beautiful breasts. His tongue played eagerly over her nipples which responded by hardening into tight rosettes.

She shivered with pleasure as she felt his mouth pull a nipple into it and suck, using his teeth to gently tug until her stomach quivered with need. She squirmed as his long fingers found their way to the sweet juncture between her legs and spread them further apart so that he could probe her depths.

Mick felt a swift rush of wetness flow over his fingers and he spread it around, loving the slick feel of her, the warmth of her desire. He inserted first one and then another finger into her tight body and stroked her until she opened fully to him. He caught her eye in the moonlight and she said, “Please Mick, now…”

His lips found hers in a deep kiss that made his stomach tense with his own desire. His tongue delved deeply into her welcoming mouth, stroking the inside of it until they both couldn’t breathe anymore. The kiss went on and on, a swirling maelstrom of passion brewing between them.

She pulled his hips to her, bucking up to meet him and sighed with pleasure as he settled into her waiting body. He drew in a deep breath as he felt her griping him tightly, holding him in her for a moment but soon there was no holding back for either one of them.

They moved together, as if of one mind, one body. Relentlessly they came together and pulled apart, always coming home again in the beauty of the dance. Both were close and she offered him her neck, stretching it to the side so he could get a clean bite. She saw his fangs descend and his eyes silver and hers did the same in response.

“Now, now,” she demanded and sank her fangs into his neck. Her body immediately started its release and Mick came with her as he gently bit her neck. He thrilled to the taste of her passion, her release and swallowed first one mouthful of her blood, followed by another. When their bodies finally stopped trembling he softly licked the already healing wounds closed, enjoying the feel of her soft skin beneath his tongue. He rolled off of her and pulled her close beside him and smiled as he heard her sigh and stretch her body in a satisfied way, kind of like a cat he thought.

“Welcome to Seattle,” he said with a chuckle. He leaned over and placed a quick kiss on her forehead.

“I think I like this city,” she told him as she ran her fingers lightly over his chest. “I really like the welcoming festivities!”

“Well, we aim to be hospitable here you know. Wait until you see the rest of the city.”

“You mean I have to leave this bed?” she asked, grinning from ear to ear. She leaned up on an elbow and commented, “But tell me this mister, what does a girl have to do to get a drink around here?”

“Um, a kiss maybe?” he teased.

“You work cheap!” she laughed and bent to give him the obliging kiss. “There, you’ve had you kiss, now where is my drink?”

“Okay, okay! Boy, I think I’ve brought home a slave driver!” he said and scooted off the bed quickly to avoid the swat she aimed at his ass.

He returned a few minutes later with two glasses of blood. He held one out to her and said, “I did assume this was the drink you were interested in?”

“Um hm,” she said and she took a long drink of the O positive. “Um, fresh!”

“Yeah, Josef has me spoiled, I’ll admit. So, how are you? You look really good Elka.”

“Thanks and you too. I’m good, but I’m glad to be here for a few days – I need the break!”

“What, life in high finance isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?”

“Sometimes…” she smiled. “We’re still sort of recovering from all the Y2K panic; you know all the preparations for the end of the world stuff that never happened? It has been crazy for the last year.”

“I hear you. Logan came up from LA to make sure my computer system was ready to go into the new century. He is a veritable computer genius, he really is.”

“Who’s Logan? I don’t think I met him at the party.”

“No, he doesn’t leave his basement too often. He is uh, well I sired him twenty years ago. We’ve remained close although sometimes I think I’m only as good as how much money I can hand over for him to do jobs for me!” he laughed. “But seriously, aren’t all kids like that? Really, he’s a good kid.”

“How come you don’t live in LA? I know you did for a long time because Josef mentioned it. What happened?”

Mick swallowed convulsively and opened his mouth to speak; nothing came out. He hadn’t told anyone about why he was here and he didn’t know if he could yet or ever for that matter. Finally he said, “I guess everyone needs a change sometime and it was just my time.”

Elka saw the emotions flow across his face as he answered her. She knew there was more to the story but decided to let it go for now. He would tell her in his own time if she was meant to know. Instead she changed the subject by saying, “Have I told you why I call myself ‘Elka’?”

“No, you haven’t,” he said, relieved to talk of something else.

“Well, my Lakota name was ‘Small elk in the meadow’ so I just sort of shortened it.”

“That’s really beautiful Elka. Do you miss that life?”

“No, not much really. It was so long ago and the world is much changed. There is no place for it now. And, it was also a violent life in many ways Mick.”

He digested her words for a moment and wondered what kind of life could be more violent than the vamp world. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“Sure, it doesn’t bother me to talk about it. I was born in about 1817 in what is now North Dakota. My parents were Sioux as was my husband. He was a warrior and we needed all the warriors we could get for the Crow were our enemies and attacked often. There were 5 branches of the Dakota Indians and we belonged to the Lakota branch.”

“I didn’t realize you had been married Elka.”

“Yes, and had a baby as well – a son named Walking Bird. My husband, Lone Eagle was very brave; he died trying to protect me and our son. The tribes often made war on one another and when you lost the battle most of the women and children were taken as slaves to the other tribe. It is what happened to me. I’m afraid I wasn’t very cooperative though and often tried to run away. One time the Sioux warriors were attacking the Crow and I tried to run to them, hoping they would take me back with them. The Crow saw me and shot me with many arrows. I lay there all day and part of the night when I white trapper found me and carried me back to his camp. He removed the arrows and did his best to nurse me back to life. For two days I lay there and grew worse and I knew that the Great Spirit would soon take me. When it was apparent that I was not going to make it he asked me if I wanted to live; I thought it was better than dying and I said yes, although I wasn’t sure what he meant by living. I found out pretty quickly though.”

“So, so you chose to be turned?” he asked, surprised.

“Yes. Oh, I didn’t really understand what it was going to mean, but I am glad I did it. He was good to me, he was kind and taught me the ways of the vampires. Since he was a trapper we followed the animals with the seasons; in the winter we stayed in a cave for shelter. It seemed a good life; at least there wasn’t constant war. It was over 4 years before I knew that vampires could drink human blood as well as animal blood. It seemed so wrong to me at first, you know? Kind of like cannibalism. I found out when some other vampires found us and I listened to them talk because I had learned English by then. Eventually he made his way west and we ended up in Oregon. It was about 1850 by then. I estimate I was turned in 1843 so I had been a vamp for 7 years by then.

In Oregon we heard about a gold rush in California so we headed south to see what it was all about. People usually thought I was Spanish when they saw me so I wasn’t too out of place. Cole staked a claim and we worked that for awhile. It’s actually where I met Josef!”

“Really? Josef was a gold miner?” Mick smiled at the thought; he didn’t know what he found funnier, Josef in grubby clothes or actually working the mine. Either way he knew it had to be a great story.

“Yes, he was. And a good one too. He made several million in the gold rush and was smart enough to invest in land there in San Francisco. It’s what Cole and I did too; thank goodness because I’ve never had to worry about money since then.”

“He and Josef went east when Abraham Lincoln became president; he was a great man and Josef wanted to meet him. I stayed in California and minded the store, so to speak. Josef came back in 1865, after the war. Cole stayed there and was a part of the reformation. We still talk occasionally; I am very thankful to him for all he did for me.”

“Wow, I’m amazed by all that Elka. You’ve lived quite a life. I can’t imagine having that good of a relationship with your sire.” He shuddered as he remembered the crazy with Coraline. Even if she were still alive he wouldn’t want to see her or talk to her.

“Well, he was nothing like the Duvall’s you know.” She saw him raise an eyebrow in surprise and added, “Yes, Josef told me about your sire Mick. I’m so sorry for all that you went through.”

They were both quiet for a few minutes and Mick realized that the sun was rising. “It’s getting late; are you ready for some freezer time?”

“Yes, I am. Show me the way!”

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

After they settled into the freezer Elka reflected on her relationship with Mick. Not a great love match, but she certainly felt that he needed her and she was more than okay with that. She had never loved anyone since Lone Eagle and knew that she never would. She knew that he walked a warrior’s path with the Great Spirit and she sincerely hoped that some day she would be allowed to walk with him.

Her Sioux blood gave her a spiritual outlook on life; Mick needed a little bit of that because if ever there was a man caught in pain and confusion it was Mick. She knew why the Great Spirit had brought her to him; she had work to do with this amazing and wounded man. She looked at him, in his repose and smiled. At least it wouldn’t be tough work!

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Beth pinned a bunch of fragrant magnolia into her mom’s hair and then stood back to admire it. She was a breath-taking bride and it wasn’t just because Dorothy was her mom. It’s funny how sometimes it takes unusual circumstances to show us a different side of people and this was certainly an unusual circumstance.

Her mother was getting married! The woman who had always stalwartly stood alone was joining her life with a really wonderful man and Beth couldn’t be happier for them both. Today Dorothy didn’t look like her mother, she looked like any other happy bride, anxiously getting ready for her wedding; it made her seem so young and vulnerable, a side Beth rarely got to see.

Just then there was a soft knock on the door and Robbi poked her head in and asked if they were ready. Beth looked at her mom and smiled. Dorothy smiled in response and nodded her head and they went to the door, ready to make the walk down the aisle.

As they stood at the doorway waiting for the music Beth saw a few tears flowing down her mother’s face and dabbed them with a handkerchief. She knew perfectly well why Dorothy was crying and she reached for her and gave her a quick hug, feeling her tremble in her arms.

“I wish he were here too Mom. Grandpa would have walked you down that aisle with such joy and happiness. I’m so sorry he isn’t here, but I want to believe that he and Grams can still see it, share it with us like that.”

Dorothy nodded and smiled, dabbing at her eyes again. “I know. He loved Clark and I know this is always what he wanted. I was such a fool for so many years Beth. Don’t be like me – when you find the one, don’t be afraid honey, just be with him.”

The words stung a bit as a picture of Carl flashed through her mind. But she knew deep down that he wasn’t the one, although she had cared for him a great deal. No, the ‘one’ was still out there, waiting for her. He was her destiny and she knew that she would find him.

She knew it.


	9. Chapter 9

_May 20, 2000_

_There has been so much going on the past couple of days with the wedding that I just wanted to add a few things. First of all, it was perfect, totally perfect!_

_When mom walked down that aisle Clark looked at her like she was the only woman in the world; so much love and devotion was written on his face it almost took my breath away. I know this is stupid but I almost felt like it was the three of us joining our lives. I mean, he has always been my father, if not in name then certainly action and deed. I felt like we were now a family, for real. No more daydreaming about Clark being my dad, he was now and the first thing I did after the ceremony was hug him and call him ‘Dad’. It brought tears to his eyes and he hugged me tightly and told me that I always was his daughter, but that now he was proud to be able to claim it officially._

_Families are not just about blood; Clark has proved that over the years by his caring and commitment to us. Was there ever a school program that he missed or a birthday or any other event in my life? I can’t think of a single one and they are all made that much happier by having him there. Many kids don’t feel that way about a step parent; maybe it was because I never knew my bio dad that made it okay, I just don’t know. At any rate, I couldn’t be happier._

_He and Mom left for their honeymoon immediately and she was so excited about it. They went to Italy; a place mom has always wanted to go. They will be gone for two weeks and then they are moving into a new house that they bought together. A new place for a new start and I think that is wonderful for them. In some ways it seems kind of strange to me; I’ve never lived anywhere but that house or the dorm. They asked me if I wanted the house but I told them no, I’ll make my own memories somewhere else someday, with someone special. So, while they are gone I will be going through 20 years of my stuff and trying to figure out what to keep and what to ditch._

_Not all memories of that house are good; I still remember the night I was taken, vividly although the faces are blurred, out of focus. I woke up suddenly, my heart pounding as I felt a hand cover my mouth. I tried to scream, but the hand covered my mouth too tightly and it wouldn’t come, the sounds, they couldn’t come. I just remember her whisper, “It will be okay little girl, I’m your new mommy!” She said it over and over, trying to calm my squirming body, maybe to keep me quiet. I didn’t feel safe for several days until HE came; then I knew it was okay. Where are you shadow man? I need to feel you in my life again!_

_I start work next week but in the meantime Lani and I are going down to San Diego for the weekend with Robbi to check out the ship she’ll be on this summer and do a little partying on our own. I’m sure that Lani will want to rock that town, but hopefully we can keep her from doing any serious damage! It should be a lot of fun though. It’s amazing, but I’ve never been to San Diego before and there it is just right down the coast from us. Robbi tells us that it is beautiful and is excited to show it to us._

_Later!_

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Dorothy leaned against Clark’s arm that was wrapped protectively around her as they rode a gondola in the Grand Canal of Venice. She smiled broadly; it was such a silly, touristy thing to do, but it was also so much fun.

The past 10 days had been the most wonderful of her life, even though they started off a bit shakily. Getting through that first night had proved difficult, for both of them.

Clark reached for her, she retreated, a dance that was replayed several times during the night. She was determined she could do it and yet each time they came close she panicked, reliving the night 21 years ago when she was viciously raped.

Finally Clark had said, “Dorothy, you’re not ready. Let’s just talk, okay? How can you be with me when you can’t even tell me what happened?”

She understood the logic of that but she had never told anyone the details of what had really happened. No one knew, not her parents, not the police; she just buried it deep within her and put one foot in front of the other each day until finally the days, weeks, years, and decades had rolled by and it was only a foggy memory. That is until she tried to be with Clark and then it all came back, rushing at her like a freight train, out of control and hell bent on taking her down.

How do you talk about something that was so hazy? It was pure instinct that made her pull away from Clark and yet she knew in her head, heart and soul that he would never hurt her. He had known for years that she had been brutally assaulted and raped – her parents had told him, as a warning that she would probably never let him get too close. Had she made a mistake by marrying him? Would she ever be able to get past this thing?

He had been so patient, so tender and loving as he held her and listened as she tried to describe her fear in a dream-like state. The bile rose in her throat as she choked on the memories of being held down, of her clothes being torn from her body. Each memory knocked the air out of her like the blows that he had used as he attempted to quiet her and strike fear in her heart. The pain and fear as he had ripped into her body and finally the humiliation of being tossed aside like a piece of garbage, bloodied and bruised and broken, of no importance.

Clark held her and cried with her, living the nightmare through her eyes and somewhere in the night he became her ally; sharing the story had become her revenge for the stolen years shrouded in fear and it was okay. When they came together it truly was her first time of loving and she hadn’t looked back since then.

Each day of their honeymoon they had a new adventure. They explored palaces and churches and the mysteries of one another’s bodies. Their souls communed in a magnificent explosion of passion and their loving deepened to unimaginable depths. She wondered if it was like this for her parents, who had been so devoted to one another, but couldn’t imagine it being so. Could anyone ever have such a wonderful relationship? It seemed so unlikely to her.

As they were packing to leave Dorothy said, “You know, I wish your brother could have been at the wedding. Couldn’t we have passed him off as a distant cousin or something Clark?”

“Logan understood honey. It’s, well it’s complicated; you know that. We can’t explain why he doesn’t age and after all this time I can’t explain how I have a brother that few have ever seen.” He saw the sorrow reflected on her face and sighed. “He chose this Dorothy and he has no regrets. Mick has been good for him and Logan learned so much from him. And at least now he’ll have my house to live in. He’s planning on turning the basement into some sort of computer eden he says!”

“I know all that. Mick certainly has been the savior of this family in many ways hasn’t he? I wish we could tell Beth about him.”

Clark nodded in understanding. He knew that would help two souls that both needed it. He saw how Beth sometimes watched the shadows in the distance; he knew who she was waiting for. The thing was though, did she?

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

It was moonrise and Mick and Elka ran though the trees that surrounded his property, chasing one another like kids. He felt light-hearted and happy; a rare occurrence for him.

She had disappeared, practically in front of his eyes and he closed his eyes then and scented the air, seeking her out. He smiled and looked up; she was hiding in a tree above him, a smug smile on her face.

“What’s the matter city boy? Having a hard time?” she teased.

A moment later he was beside her, wrapping his arms around her. “Yeah, I’d say I’m hard alright! Ever did it in a tree?”

She laughed and lightly jumped down, landing with a soft ‘whumph’ sound. He quickly followed and pulled her to him and captured her mouth in a searing kiss.

“Um, nice. I love it here; it reminds me of when I was a child. I love the scents of the trees and grass and the small animals that are hidden around us.”

“What about the larger animals? I’m sure they’re around too!” he said as he nibbled her neck.

“Hm, mostly they stay away, all except one I guess.” He growled and made her laugh before she kissed him again, enjoying the feel of his mouth as it devoured hers. Eventually she reached to pull his jacket off of him and lay it on the forest floor at the base of the tree. She sat down, pulling him with her, the jacket providing a barrier between them and the pine needles that littered the ground.

They both leaned back against the tree and listened to the sounds around them; the soft swish of the branches blowing in the wind, the scampering as the small animals scurried around, staying far away from the two creatures of the night that sat among them. Mick inhaled deeply and felt the clean smell of pine flow through him and sighed, perfectly content. He could almost forget all the bad when things were like this.

“Mick, why did you leave LA?” she asked, watching his face as it briefly flashed with pain that was quickly masked. Maybe it was still too soon to ask, but she knew he would not ever start to heal unless he talked about it.

He pursed his lips, lightly chewing on the lower lip as he debated what to say. Would he feel better if he told her or would she think he was a freak and run away? He didn’t think he could bear that, for her to look at him like the monster he was. He knew that they weren’t ‘in love’ and never would be, but still he felt happy and content with her, as much as he could be anyway and he was loathe to risk losing that.

“Mick, I know about Coraline. Hell, I’ve met her; I know she is a bitch. I think it would help you to talk about it.” She reached for his hand and held it lightly between her own and looked at him, waiting.

“Yeah? Did you know that I killed her?”

“I – uh, no I didn’t. When did you do that?”

“In 1985. She kidnapped a small child and planned to turn her in an effort to bring us together again. I had enough of her crazy and I staked her and burned her.” He said it quietly, and she realized that there was no regret in his voice.

She was surprised to hear him say 1985. So that wasn’t the reason he left LA 4 years ago. And it was weird; she thought she had seen Cora about 10 years or so ago in Paris. She guessed she was wrong.

“She was going to turn the child Mick; you did the right thing. Cora was certifiable, you know that. So what else?”

He told her the story of Beth; of how he had watched over her through the years as she grew up, making sure she was safe.

“Mick, that’s hardly something to punish yourself over. If you helped to keep her safe then it was a good thing.”

“When she was 16 I followed her and some friends to a 4th of July cookout at the beach. I watched as she and boy sat near the water, talking. He leaned over to kiss her and I wanted to rip his head off. I knew that I had to leave then; my feelings weren’t just protective anymore.”

“You saw her as a young woman Mick. It’s understandable that that happened. You have to let it go.”

“I – I wanted to be the one kissing her Elka, not some fresh - faced teenage boy who wanted to grope her in the night. No, I had to leave because she deserves the right to live her life without me shadowing her every move. I came here to give her that chance. It’s for the best; it’s for the best…” He shook his head, ashamed at the confession of the words he had never fully admitted before, even to himself.

Elka sighed as she felt the guilt in his words sink in. “You need to go back to LA Mick and stop running from the guilt; being here isn’t helping you. You are secluded here and too far from friends who care about you. You aren’t healing, you’re wallowing and you need to stop it!”

He stood up, blazingly angry at her, at the words that she had dared to speak. Words that were true, that he couldn’t hide from. “Just what the hell do you know Elka? What gives you the right to come here and say that?”

“I can say it because it’s true and you know it; you’ve known it all along but you just didn’t want to face it all.” She stood directly in front of him, staring into his eyes, her own sparking with anger as well. “I’m a healer Mick, a spiritual healer and the Great Spirit brought you into my life for a purpose, to help you find your path.”

“My PATH? I had no fucking choice in my path! My path was chosen for me, without my consent. My chosen path was gone, ripped from me, just like that.” He snapped his fingers for emphasis and continued, “The only path I have is the one that relegates me to monster. How’s that for a path?” He sat back down and leaned his head against the tree, tears streaking his face.

“You always have a choice Mick. Right now your choice is to stay here and feel sorry for yourself or go back home and build a life you can be proud of, with or without Beth. The path begins right here Mick, what are you going to do?”

He stared up at her; for one moment hatred burned brightly in his hazel eyes and then just as suddenly faded out. He knew her words were true, but they still hurt like hell. “There will never be any life with Beth, or anyone else. I’m a monster! I couldn’t stand to see that in someone’s eyes; them knowing who I really am.”

“Mick, a monster is someone uncaring, someone ruthless, without remorse. Adolf Hitler was a monster, Idi Amin was a monster. Are you like them? Do you feel, care, love? No, you are not a monster Mick, not by anyone’s definition.”

“You don’t understand Elka. Not really.”

“Do I not? You think I haven’t run into my own monsters? The Crow who had a special brand of horror for their captives, slaves; you think they weren’t monsters? Believe me, I’ve known monsters. You are not a monster.”

He looked at her and for the first time wondered what she suffered at their hands. He wondered how she had survived it all, the death of a husband and child, being torn from her world and thrown into a world that she didn’t understand. She survived in a world where she was an outsider and had to do unimaginable things to just exist. It suddenly occurred to him how similar they were; their lives were parallel really. She had made it and somehow even came out of it stronger and better.

Maybe he could too.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Beth and Lani cruised down PCH in Lani’s brand new red VW Bug, the top down and their hair blowing in the warm wind. Beth licked her lips and imagined that she could taste a hint of salt. The car had been a gift from her father since she was going to be a working girl this summer.

“Last weekend of freedom Beth! Major responsibilities ahead, so look out San Diego and fun, here we come!”

Beth laughed and tipped her head back to feel the sunshine on her face. The sky was an incredible shade of blue and not a cloud could be seen in it. The Pacific was a deep blue green with small white caps skimming over it like frosting. Every now and then they saw a few surfers but the waves weren’t really high enough to bring the really daring surfers out.

Lani switched on the radio and turned it up as they heard NSYNC singing It’s Gonna Be Me playing. They sang along at the top of their voices and laughed at how off-key they were. Before they knew it they were pulling into San Diego and meeting Robbi at the pier.

“Hey, you guys made good time! Welcome to my home for the next 2 months, the cutter Carlisle!” She indicated a large boat at the end of the dock. It was painted white and had a helicopter sitting on one end of it. Beth was impressed.

“It’s a lot larger ship than I thought it would be,” she said as they walked towards it.”

“Technically it is not a ship; it’s a ‘cutter’ so that makes it a boat. I know, not much of a distinction to us but to them,” she indicated some of the crew working on deck, “to them it’s a big deal.” She shrugged and led them to the gang plank.

“Um hm,” Lani said, and Beth and Robbi noticed she already had her eye on a couple of crew as they worked checking lines and such on deck. “Wow, what a great view!”

“Don’t get any ideas Lani, both of them are married!”

Lani’s face fell and then she shook it off, ready to move on. “SO, do we get a tour?”

“Of course! You didn’t think I brought you here just to stand on deck did you?”

As they toured the boat Beth and Lani were curious about everything, especially the tiny, cramped crew’s quarters.

“Everybody bunks in here?” Beth said, looking around at a room about the size of a bathroom that had 8 bunks in it. “Wow, not much privacy is there?”

“Or opportunity for romance,” Lani offered, shaking her head.

Robbi laughed and said, “Well, we’re not here to romance Lani, we’re here to work, so its okay. C’mon, let’s get you guys checked into your hotel!”

At the hotel all three girls changed into bikini’s and headed to the pool, prepared to just hang out and chat. After an hour of so a few of the crew showed up and before they knew it the party was going. Kevin got there around 6 when they were trying to decide where to go to dinner.

“Hey, how about Papa McGoo’s? Best linguine around, I promise!” Kevin offered.

“Papa McGoo’s? For Italian food? What’s wrong with that picture?” Beth laughed.

“No kidding,” Robbi said. “C’mon, you’ll love it and there’s a pretty good band there too. We’ll have a blast.”

Lani rolled her eyes and said, “Okay, but please don’t ever tell anyone at school that we went to somewhere called Papa McGoo’s, okay? I have an image to live up to!”

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Kevin and Robbi were right, they had a blast. More of the crew showed up and a couple of them were single. Beth and Lani had no shortage of partners when the dancing started. It was hard for Beth in some ways, she hadn’t danced with anyone since Carl, even at the wedding, but after she got started she just pushed that out of her mind and went with the group. She didn’t regret it at all.

The next two days were full of fun; some of the time they lazed around the pool and others they did the tourist thing and saw the sights, like Sea World. When Lani and Beth left on Sunday night Beth realized she felt better than she had in months.

Sometimes you just get so caught up in the day to day and you forget that you can still be happy. The breakup with Carl wasn’t the worst thing that will ever happen to me, even if it felt that way at the time. One foot in front of the other Turner, just keep moving along…


	10. Chapter 10

_March 14, 2001_

_I can’t believe what I’m going to do – correction what we are going to do! Lani has talked Robbi and me into going to Acapulco for spring break. I must be an idiot, but it’s done._

_I can’t deny that I could use a little stress relief; this last year of school is a killer. Really what I would like to do is just sleep for the week of spring break but I would imagine that sleep is probably the last thing I’ll be doing._

_Mom and Clark are working on a room addition for their house. It is amazing to see how happy my mother is with him. Her eyes sparkle now and she is smiling practically all the time. It makes me so happy to see the joy she is experiencing; it also gives me hope that I’ll find that someday myself, with or without a man. Right now though I couldn’t fit a boyfriend in if I tried, which I haven’t._

_No, I’m not still pining away for Carl. I do miss him, the friendship we shared the most. But in the long run we made the right choice; we weren’t the ‘one’ for each other. I’ll bet he is a fabulous cop and I really hope he is happy._

_I still think often of my shadow man and lately more than I had in a long while. I wish I knew what had happened to him. Maybe he died or something? It was weird, I always felt him and then it was just gone; overnight that feeling was gone. How does that happen? I still feel safe, it’s not that I don’t, but it just doesn’t feel the same as it did when I was younger._

_Where are you shadow man? Are you still out there somewhere? Maybe you are guarding some other little girl now, keeping her safe from something terrible. I can only hope that you yourself are safe and happy._

_After graduation I have been offered a full –time position with the Free Press. I wish I could be more excited about it, but at least it’s a job. Have to try to look at the upside of it. It’s not the Times, but hopefully someday it will be. In the meantime it will be a paycheck and will keep me writing and gaining more experience and that is what really matters. I’ve also started looking for apartments for when I graduate. Mom and Clark keep telling me to come and stay with them for awhile, but I want to be on my own, you know? If I want to get up at 3 am and walk around naked eating a PB &J I can! Rent is high though and it will definitely be tight, but with close money management I can do it. Lani and I talked about sharing a place, but yesterday she got a job offer from a firm in San Francisco. She’s going to take it and I don’t blame her, the money is incredible. Still, she’ll be there and Robbi will be in San Diego when she isn’t off sailing somewhere and that sort of makes me sad._

_It’s always been the three of us; the three musketeers. There wasn’t a single year of school that we didn’t share. We always had each other’s back, no matter what. We learned about life together, talked about boys and sex and how afraid we were of failing, at everything. For the first time in my life I will feel alone._

_Okay sad sack, enough!_

_Later._

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Mick punched a number into his phone and waited for an answer. It didn’t take long for Josef to pick up, delighted to see Mick’s number on the ID. His face was wearing a huge smile as he greeted his best friend. Mick had been calling more frequently and there had been a change in his attitude; not that he was a poster boy now for Vamps United or anything, but he did seem happier.

“Hey boyo, good to hear your voice! What’s up?”

Mick hesitated on the other end of the line, steeling himself for his next words; they were harder to say than he imagined. Instead he finally said, “Hey, what’s going on there?”

Josef recognized a decoy when he heard one – Mick never calls to just shoot the breeze. “I just lost $300,000 in the market. It makes me grumpy, so don’t waste my time. So I repeat, what’s up?”

Mick smiled and said, “I’m going to move back to LA. Can you get someone to get the loft ready?”

For a moment Josef wasn’t sure he had heard Mick properly. “Excuse me? Who is this?” he joked. “Certainly can’t be the Mick St. John I know.”

“Go ahead and snark Josef. You heard me, I’m coming home.”

“Well, well…this is a surprise! So when are you coming?”

“How soon can you have someone get things ready?”

“I can have it done in an hour if you want but somehow I don’t think that is your plan. So, you tell me when you want it done and it will be ready.”

Mick chuckled because he knew that Josef could do just that. A lot of money spread around can make anything happen. “Okay, let’s say in a week. I have some things to take care of here first.”

“Are you going to sell the house there?”

“No, I’m going to keep it. I really like this house.”

“Um hm. Why don’t I doubt that – all isolated and in the middle of nowhere? So, are you driving down or shall I send the jet?”

“I’m selling the car; after all, I have the Benz in storage in LA. So yeah, send the jet, I might as well come home in style!”

Josef rolled his eyes at Mick’s penchant for that old Benz and realized he better have it taken out of storage and checked over. “Okay, all will be ready. I’ll call you later with the flight times. And – I’ll have the loft ready because I assume you will be shipping some things?”

“Not much actually, I’ll probably just bring it on the jet.”

“It’s not a cargo plane you know! Don’t go scuffing up the leather Mick!”

Mick laughed out loud and pictured Josef frowning on the other end of the phone which is exactly what was happening. “Okay, no scuffing! I’ll see you soon buddy!” He heard Josef mutter something that might have been ‘fuck you’ and then the line went dead.

Mick continued to laugh, knowing that it was going to be good to go home.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

“Okay guys, I like, have an idea!” Lani said, looking a bit unsure of herself.

Robbi’s eyebrows raised, two perfect arcs above round deep blue eyes. Robbi had the most gorgeous eyes that Beth had ever seen and for years she had been so envious of them. Her lashes were a mile long and so naturally thick she never had to wear mascara. They were also very expressive eyes and could never hide what she was feeling. It made her seem so vulnerable and naive, but if nothing hanging around with Lani for 16 years had gotten rid of the naiveté. She mentally rolled her eyes and then looked at Beth before saying, “Okay, what?”

Lani cleared her throat, a sure sign she was nervous and that made Beth and Robbi both even more curious. “Well, I was thinking about something. It’s our last year of school, you know? And – and we’ve, well, it’s all went by so fast and I was uh, thinking that we needed something to mark the passage or to celebrate I guess.” She looked at both of her friends as she tried to gauge what they were thinking.

“So, WHAT?” Beth said, waiting to see what was coming next and knowing Lani it could be anything.

“I – I was thinking that we could go away for spring break, you know?” she said the words in a rush and then squirmed in her seat as she waited for their responses.

“You have to be kidding me! I’m not going to Ft. Lauderdale with all the other idiots!” Robbi said, looking disgusted.

“No, no I wasn’t thinking about Florida. I actually was wanting to go to Mexico!”

“MEXICO,” Beth and Robbi said together.

Lani looked at them and knew she had a hard sell job ahead of her. “Okay, look, I know it’s kind of a wild idea, but I don’t mean we should like camp out on some crowded beach or anything. I booked us a suite in Acapulco!”

“Acapulco? A suite?” Beth shook her head and said, “NO. No way.”

“I’m with her – no way am I going.” Robbi said, clearly closed to the idea.

“Look, it’s a really nice hotel, the Hilton for God’s sake, not some sleazy motel okay? It’s a suite, a – a grown up place. In a really nice four star hotel by the way.”

Beth thought about it for a moment and was so tempted. Lounging around a pool didn’t sound too bad. As far as the suite went, it would be expensive, but she could contribute some money to the whole thing. Not a lot, but some. At any rate, she knew it wasn’t about the money anyway. Lani’s parents had money and so did Lani. They weren’t filthy rich or anything but they were the only family she knew that had a maid and a gardener. The idea began to appeal more and more…

Robbi saw the Beth was starting to weaken. “What, am I the only voice of sanity here? I’m NOT going down there to dance naked on the beach and get my picture on Girls Gone Wild! It’s a crazy idea!”

“Robbi, it’s the Hilton! Do you really think that’s where they film Girls Gone Wild at? No, we’re talking room service and spas, some pampering, margaritas by the pool and maybe a little dancing in the disco there. No Girls Gone Wild, I promise!”

Beth was won over by the time Lani had said ‘spa’ and nodded saying, “Okay, count me in!”

“Oh God, now I’m forced to go! If I don’t, 50 years from now I’ll still be hearing about whatever you did on this trip! This is like, like blackmail. But I’m telling you right now Lanelle and Elisabeth, I am NOT doing anything that involves wet tee shirts, do you hear me?”

Beth and Lani jumped up and pulled Robbi up as well for a hug. Soon all three were jumping up and down in their excitement. Suddenly, none of them could wait for the trip.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

This time as Mick flew south he was much more relaxed, anxious even to get home. He had done a lot of soul-searching the past few months about everything and decided that Elka was right – he had to go home and rebuild his life. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he was willing to try.

His friendship with Elka this past year had been good for him in so many ways. Yeah, there was a little romance here and there and he genuinely cared about her, just not in an ‘in love’ kind of way. She had helped him make sense of his life and his past and had finally convinced him that unless he went home and faced his demons that he would never be really happy in this life, so he might as well check out now. That was a sobering thought to him.

What had all these years meant anyway? Was there a reason that he had met Coraline in the first place? Was it meant to be that she turn him? Is whatever is out there for him waiting, just like him? Whoever was waiting? He knew what he wanted to be the answer to that question, but the question was, did he have any right to it, to happiness? He sighed and leaned back in the seat of the jet, trying to still his tumultuous emotions.

The dozen or so boxes he had with him had been stowed away properly (no scuffing!) and he sat and sipped a glass of blood, lulled by the sound of the engines as they streaked over the Pacific coast. He closed his eyes and remembered the first time he had met Josef and realized how far they had come in their friendship.

 

_1952…_

_Coraline, dressed to the nines in another beautiful and clingy red dress was introducing Mick to some of her friends, most of whom Mick didn’t like. They were a square, up-tight group and he couldn’t imagine them really cutting loose. The one called Cynthia seemed to have a giant poker up her ass she stood so straight. The worst one though was Josef, someone whom Cora seemed to be really trying to impress._

_They stood looking at one another, each taking the other’s measure and Mick knew that he didn’t measure up at all. Kostan wore a really pricey suit, Mick could tell and a silk shirt as well with real gold cuff links. Like he had just stepped out of the pages of some high priced magazine. Who really dresses like that anyway, Mick wondered._

_Josef nodded to a passing waiter who immediately stopped and inquired what he might need. “I’ll take a Bloody Mary, hold the Mary,” he told him._

_“Of course Mr. Kostan, right away.” The waiter hurried off and Mick watched him with a raised eyebrow._

_Within a minute the waiter returned with Josef’s drink and Mick stared at it in fascination. It was the strangest looking Bloody Mary he had ever seen; it almost did look bloody._

_Cora saw him staring and laughed nervously. “It’s his own special mixture. Looks real, doesn’t it?”_

_“I have to admit it does,” Mick said, slightly disgusted. It looked thick and so very red…_

_“He’s been drinking them for years!” Cora said, giving Josef an inscrutable look. He stared at her as she spoke and Mick couldn’t determine if it was a look of amusement or scorn._

_“I think I’ll go and get some air, if you don’t mind. Excuse me, please,” Mick said and made a hasty retreat to the terrace to escape the claustrophobic atmosphere of the house._

_Josef and Coraline watched as Mick disappeared through the glass doors leading to the terrace. “You have got to be kidding me Coraline! You think you’re going to turn that one? He’ll never make it. Look, I get it, he’s pretty so just play with him for awhile, like you always do and then show him the door!”_

_“Josef, this is different. I love him, I’m crazy about him. He’ll do fine, I’ll teach him.”_

_Josef shook his head and said, “You are totally out of your mind, you know that? He may be some musician who thinks he walks on the wild side but he’s a babe in the woods. He’ll be a liability to the tribe. I’m telling you not to turn him.”_

_“Is that an official ruling Josef?” Coraline’s eye’s narrowed and Josef could see that he had really pissed her off._

_“No, just some friendly advice Coraline – advice you would be wise to take.” He walked off then, done with the whole subject._

_Cora stood watching him walk away and took a deep breath to try to calm herself. She was trembling with rage; she wanted to strike out at him. Instead, she went outside to find Mick, who was sitting by the pool in a deck chair, nursing a scotch._

_“Hi,” she said, standing next to the lounge._

_“Hi yourself.”_

_“May I?” she said, indicating his lap._

_“Sure, climb on little girl,” he teased._

_Coraline settled onto his lap and reached for the glass of scotch and took a drink. She laid her head against his and listened to his heartbeat that hummed strong and reassuring as it beat in his chest. She loved listening to it; it comforted her when she was upset, like now._

_“You’re cold,” he said as he pulled her closer to him. “Want my jacket?”_

_“No, I’m fine really. I like the chill, it feels good.”_

_Mick was always amazed when she said that. To him she felt perpetually chilled but it didn’t seem to bother her so he just shrugged it off. “You know honey, I think that Kostan guy is a real piece of work! What’s with him anyway? What man dresses like that?”_

_“Josef isn’t so bad. I’ve known him a long time you know. He just likes to dress nice.”_

_“Seems kind of like a sissy boy to me, but if he makes you happy I guess its okay. At least I don’t have to worry about that kind of man hitting on you. But just for the record may I say that I think he is a pompous jerk?” He shook his head and laughed adding, “I know he’s got money, but he could really stand a little humility!”_

_“Yeah, sometimes I agree with you.”_

_15 days later…_

_“Josef, he won’t eat! I mean, I got him to feed once, but now he won’t do it again. Not fresh or from a glass either. I don’t know what to do! He says he wants to die. Help me, please?” Cora was frantic as she spoke to Josef on the phone._

_“Gee Coraline, why don’t you just help him die then? You know, you got some kind of nerve calling me when I told you not to do this. Now you want me to clean up your mess!” Josef let out an exasperated sigh; same old Coraline, she never thinks about anything but what she wants and damn the consequences. “Okay fine, I’ll come and talk to him but I’m not promising anything okay?”_

_An hour later Josef walked into Coraline’s house and stood in the living room scowling at her. “Well, where is he?”_

_“He’s downstairs, come on,” she said, leading the way._

_“I’m telling you right now Cora that if he really wants to die I’m going to help him! So you better be prepared.”_

_He heard her sharp intake of breath behind him and felt her grab his arm and then blinked in irritation as she threw him against the wall. “Don’t you dare, you bastard. I love him, he’ll be fine, he just needs some help! I mean it Josef, I love him!”_

_“So what? You love him, great, that solves everything doesn’t it Coraline? Now get the hell out of my way!” He pushed her aside and descended the stairs, looking for Mick. He found him huddled in a corner and not looking too far from death on his own._

_Josef knelt down in front of him and said, “SO, you’re on a hunger strike huh? I can see that’s doing you a lot of good. Did she bother to tell you that if you want to off yourself that this ain’t going to cut it?” Josef indicated Cora who was standing over them, ready to pounce if necessary. He held his hand up to her in a ‘stop’ motion and said, “Back off Coraline!” She retreated a few steps and stood glaring at him malevolently._

_“Look boyo, I know this ain’t what you signed up for; you know, the whole happily ever after thing. She should have told you, you don’t just go around making vamps like that. I mean, some people do, but you thought you were getting something else here, I know. Mick, I understand your whole world is upside down now – I’ve been there, okay?”_

_Mick finally looked up at Josef and actually saw concern and regret on his face. Josef looked him squarely in the face, meeting Mick’s gaze unblinkingly. Maybe Mick had underestimated this guy; for the first time he thought maybe he could trust someone since this hell had begun._

_“Look, the only way you can die is to have your head cut off or to be burned to death. Starving might work eventually Mick, but you don’t want that. If you truly want to die, I’ll help you, but you need to think about it with a clear head, okay? You need to eat and evaluate the situation. In a few days we’ll talk again and if it’s what you want,” he heard Cora shriek in the background, “If it’s truly what you want then, I’ll help you, okay? In the meantime, come back to my place with me, away from her and get your head screwed on straight. He stood up and offered his hand to Mick, waiting patiently for him to make his decision._

_Mick stood wordlessly and nodded to Josef. “Okay,” Josef said, “Let’s go.”_

_Cora was screaming and trying to block the stairs so that they couldn’t leave. “No, NO. This is not what I asked you over here to do Josef. You are NOT taking him from me, you can’t. I won’t let you take him from me!” She sank down on the stairway, tears running down her face as she begged Josef to stop._

_Josef stepped over her and so did Mick, leaving her to her tears. Just then Mick felt no love for her, only betrayal. He didn’t know how he would feel in a few days, but he had to figure it all out. Josef offered him the opportunity to do just that and he was taking it._

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

The girls stepped out of the airport in Acapulco into bright sunshine and each one of them grinned; happy they were there. They pulled their luggage behind them waiting for the shuttle from the Hilton to pick them up to take them to the hotel.

On the ride to the hotel the girls chatted non-stop about everything they saw; all the colorful buildings and gaily dressed tourists. They caught brief glimpses of the aqua colored Pacific in the distance from time to time and oohed and aahed over it, barely able to control their excitement.

The suite at the hotel was perfect for them; huge with a living area and bedrooms, a balcony and a bathtub you could swim in. When they stood on the balcony they could see the pool down below them and they decided first thing to do was to hit the pool.

After changing into bathing suits and applying (begrudgingly) some sunscreen they made their way to the pool to check it out. As they got close Beth could smell the chlorine in the air and inhaled deeply; it was a smell that reminded her of so many summers at home with her friends at the neighborhood pool. She slid her sunglasses down over her eyes as they settled into deck chairs and looked around.

For the most part there were a lot of families at the pool with a few other single people tossed into the mix. It didn’t really resemble any kind of spring break frenzy and for that Robbi was eternally grateful.

A waiter came along to take their drink orders and they each opted for bottled water; it was hot out and they weren’t sure about drinking alcohol out in the fierce sunshine. When he brought the water back to them he leaned down and told them that the ‘action’ was going on at the beach later that evening and that he hoped he would see them there. Lani giggled at his comment, Beth smiled and Robbi rolled her eyes.

None of them made it down to the beach that night, but they still had a wonderful time. Maybe they really were getting older Beth mused, because she thought that all of them, even Lani was content to just hang out together. They went down to the disco after dinner and danced the night away, sometimes dancing with each other and sometimes whatever guy asked them. By 3 am they were all ready to hit their beds and not one of them was up before noon the next day.

That set a comfortable pattern for them; sometimes they fit in a spa treatment or massage, but otherwise it was much the same. One night they did venture down to the beach but even Lani seemed a bit nervous of everything that was going on there so they didn’t stay too long and they definitely all kept their shirts on!

They were happy to stay in the safety of the hotel; it provided lots of entertainment and none of them regretted missing the parties at the beach. All too soon their 5 days were up and it was time to go home.

As the plane lifted off Beth watched Acapulco fade into the distance below her. She felt relaxed and rested, even if she hadn’t slept spring break away. She had spent it with her two best friends and she knew she would never forget this vacation!

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Mick walked into the loft, accompanied by Josef and looked around, pleased to be home. It was spotless, due to the cleaning crew the Josef had in earlier which always made Mick happy since he knew he was compulsively clean.

“Here, this is yours,” Josef said handing Mick a thick envelope.

Mick opened it and studied the contents; it appeared to be a deed – the deed to the whole building and it was in his name. “Josef, what is this?”

“Uh, let’s see,” he said, frowning a bit as he pointed to the writing on the document. “Hm, it says D-E-E-D and it has your name on it. I think it means you own the building, or that’s what my attorneys said anyway.”

“Josef, how is this possible?”

“You don’t ever read the financial statements I send you do you?” Josef asked, shaking his head.

Mick shrugged and said, “I glance at them, sometimes. Occasionally anyway.”

“Well, if you actually read them more often you would know that your portfolio was getting pretty large and I needed to diversify some of your investments. Voila! You’re now a landlord!”

“You’re joking, right? I don’t have enough money for something like this do I?”

“Not anymore. But you’ll recoup, pretty quickly I suspect.” He walked towards the door and turned around before he left and added, “Mick, it’s yours. Enjoy it! Oh, and try reading the financials from now on. A person could rob you blind and you’d never know!”

The door closed with a soft click and Mick looked around him, at ‘his’ loft and grinned.

Welcome home Mick!

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Beth sat up in bed, her heart racing. She looked around the room, dimly lit by the street light outside the apartment. Everything was quiet, as quiet at LA ever got that was, but something was different.

She felt warm; not feverish, just - warm. She got up and looked out the bedroom window, gazing out at the street. Nope, all was calm out there. She didn't feel any danger; quite the opposite in fact. She felt safe, content. She stared out into the night as she hugged her shoulders and let out a deep breath. Suddenly it occurred to her.

Shadow man, is it you?


	11. Chapter 11

_July 12, 2003_

_I’m getting really bad about writing in this, which is a shame because I enjoy it, but life is so busy sometimes it just seems to take a back seat. I’ll do my best to catch up though, I promise!_

_Let’s see, what to talk about first? I’m still working at the LA Free Press, which is cool. I met a new friend there, Julia Stephens, another writer. We tend to both angle for the crime stuff, although she really likes the human interest too. That’s okay, she can have them! I do like her though; we have a lot in common and have a blast whenever we hang out._

_I miss Lani and Robbi so much! Since Robbi and Kevin got married I seem to see her less and less, which is to be expected, but still… Robbi was always the calm one, the logical one of the three of us. She usually pulled Lani and me back from doing something stupid that we would regret later. Now we’re kind of on our own and that’s okay, but I still miss her. She is still pursuing her doctorate in Marine Biology and she’ll accomplish it too, I know she will. In the meantime she is still working for the Graehm Institute and learning so much._

_Lani has blossomed into her job as a training coordinator in San Francisco. She’s always been charismatic and engaging, which is perfect for her job. She has been promoted twice in her first year and I think she is really happy. We try to get together for the weekend once a month or so and it’s amazing to watch as she grows into this job and responsibility. My mom laughs and shakes her head when I tell her all that Lani has accomplished; it’s as if she can’t believe this is the same Lani I grew up with. The most extraordinary thing about Lani right now is that she actually has a boyfriend – someone steady I mean. It’s the first time I ever remember her going out with someone more than a couple of times. His name is Ryan and he seems really nice and is crazy about her. Truthfully though, I’m pretty sure he is more invested in the relationship than she is, but I could definitely be wrong._

_Me? Well, there is no one special in my life. I guess I should be sad about that, but I’m not really. I’m busy, with my job and I never know when I’ll be called out on a story. As I learned with Carl, that can really cause problems with a relationship. I do go out sometimes, I mean I have dated but no one has really caught my eye. I’m waiting for the ONE. I know, that sounds silly and stupid. Clark reminds me not to wait forever, that there are lots of good guys out there and I know he’s right, but there’s just something inside me holding me back. Is it so crazy to think that there is a guy out there that will see me and love me for whom I truly am? That he will ‘get’ me as I’ll ‘get’ him? I yearn for that, I need it. I won’t accept anything less._

_Oh, and I know that this sounds totally stupid, but I feel my shadow man sometimes. Maybe not quite like before, I mean, I haven’t caught a glimpse of him or anything but he’s definitely back, if he was ever gone in the first place. I don’t know, just a feeling I have. Could be wrong, huh?_

_Later…_

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

“Hey Beth!”

Beth grinned as she heard Lani’s voice on the phone. It was Wednesday night, laundry night but she sat the full basket down and plopped into a comfy chair to chat with her friend. “Hey yourself! What’s up?”

“I have some news for you! Are you sitting down?” Lani told her. She was almost giddy with excitement over her news. She waited impatiently for Beth to respond.

OMG! She is going to get married! Play it cool Beth, play it cool!

“Well, what’s the news?”

Beth could hear Lani take a deep breath and let it out slowly over the phone line. Beth smiled, waiting to hear the news.

“I have accepted a position in Japan, Tokyo to be exact!” The words practically bubbled out of her throat.

“Congratu – huh? A job? I – I thought, well never mind. In JAPAN???”

“Yes, with Sesumi International! I’ll be the Assistant Director of Training Operations. Beth, this is huge, I still can’t believe it!”

“Sesumi? The big, multi-national, global electronics and communications company? That Sesumi?” Beth was still reeling over the fact that Lani wasn’t getting married; why she even thought that she couldn’t believe, but still. Instead this was all about a job? In a foreign country?

“Yes, that Sesumi! Beth, this is such an incredible opportunity for me, I can hardly believe it. I’m hyperventilating, let me tell you. They just called and I had to call and tell you right away!”

“Wow Lani, I’m so happy for you!” Beth meant those words but she still felt a bit sad. No more long weekends with her friend; Tokyo was a long, long way from Los Angeles. “So, when do you have to be there?”

“In three weeks actually. It still feels like a dream. I am typing out my letter of resignation for Morgan and Grant right now. I’m going to live in Tokyo Beth! I can’t wait.”

It was hard not to be excited for Lani; she was so wound up at this chance. “So tell me all about it!”

“Well, my salary will be roughly double what I make here Beth! They will have an apartment for me as well as a car. It’s going to be hard work, there’s no denying that and it’s also going to be culture shock. Tokyo is a very cosmopolitan city, but it is still a completely different society. I will be working mostly with Japanese employees so I’ll be taking lessons in the language as soon as I get there. Oh Beth, I’m so excited, but I’m also so scared I could pee my pants!”

Beth started laughing and Lani joined her. They each laughed until the tears were rolling down their cheeks. Another thought occurred to Beth. “Lani, have you told Ryan yet?”

“No-o-o, you were the first person I called. I guess I gotta, don’t I?” She sighed; it wasn’t something she was looking forward to.

“Don’t you think you had better do it soon Lani? I think he is really crazy about you.”

“Yeah, I know. See though, I never actually told him about the interview. I didn’t tell anyone; I didn’t want to jinx it, you know?”

“Well, it will probably be a shock then. What about your parents? Are you going to come down here before you go?”

“Mom and Dad will be thrilled to see me climb the corporate ladder, even if it is 13,000 miles away. And yes, I’ll be down there in hm, 13 days? So we can spend some time together before I go, okay?”

“Sounds good.” They chatted for a few minutes more and finally said their goodbyes. As Beth pushed the ‘end’ key on her phone she was thoughtful about her friend. Lani seemed to think that Ryan would take it all easily. Beth wasn’t so sure, but time would tell.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Mick could hear loud music coming from behind the door at Logan’s house. He banged a bit harder on the door and yelled, “Logan, open the damn door!”

Logan finally answered the door wearing a Yoda t-shirt that said ‘Tried the dark side I did and liked it I did!’ Mick winced at the music volume and said, “Logan, can you turn that noise down?”

Logan looked at him blankly, clearly not getting it.

“LOGAN! Turn it DOWN!”

Logan went to the stereo and turned the volume down. “Gee Mick, you didn’t have to yell!” He kicked a few pieces of clothing under the couch and scooped up another armful before tossing them down on the floor and motioned to Mick to sit down.

“For Christ’s sake Logan, could this place be any messier?” Mick scanned the room and grimaced, seeing the laundry and general clutter on every available surface. Parts of computers and other unidentifiable items littered the desk and a work table off to one side of the room.

“What’s wrong with it? You don’t have to live here dude!” Logan clearly didn’t get it.

Mick pinched his nose for a moment and closed his eyes. Mentally he was mortified to see the place like this. It wasn’t exactly dirty, but it looked like a tornado had hit it. He opened his eyes and took a long, hard look at Logan and spied his hair that was sticking up at all angles; it looked like it hadn’t been combed in days.

 

_1980_

_“Okay Alexander, I have to get Logan out of here, NOW. Before the police come. Do you understand?” Mick watched the judge’s reaction to his words; time was critical._

_Alexander Griffin was no stranger to trouble, or fast thinking. He looked at his son, lying motionless on the ground and nodded. “Can I see him later?” he asked._

_“Not right away. He’ll need, um, training before it will be safe Alexander. I’m sorry.”_

_“He’ll be okay?” he asked. Mick could see hope as well as tears wearing on the pale face of the judge._

_“I think so; I think so. I’ve never done this before. You can handle all this?” He asked, looking around at the bodies that were tossed around on the pavement._

_Alexander nodded solemnly and leaned back against the van. He swiped a hand down his face and said softly, “Yes, I can handle it Mick. It will be fine. Just take care of my son.” His voice broke on the last word._

_Mick nodded and felt something close to panic rise in his throat and he swallowed it down quickly, refusing to let Alexander see how scared he really was. “I have to get him home, to the uh, freezer and he’ll need to fee – eat soon. I’ll call you soon, I promise!” He could hear sirens in the distance, his cue. He scooped Logan’s limp body up in his arms and with one last look at the judge he headed off at a run for his car, parked a block away._

_Mick laid Logan’s still lifeless form into the back seat of the Benz and tucked his legs in before pushing the seat back and climbing in. He glanced over his shoulder, wondering if it was going to be okay. Shouldn’t Logan be awake by now? He didn’t know. How long had it taken him to wake up? Did he do something wrong? Logan had drunk from him, on his own but since then there was nothing, no movement, no sounds._

_He headed for his apartment, trying to make a game plan. He’d need blood, fresh blood and lots of it and the freezer. Would Logan, should he feed before he went into the freezer? What if he didn’t wake up again? Mick needed Josef; he’d call as soon as he got Logan inside._

_Mick thanked God that it was so late; there was no one around to see him pull Logan out of the car and carry him inside. As soon as they were in the apartment he carried him up to the freezer, pulling his clothes off first. His body was a mess and Mick decided that he needed a shower before he put him in the freezer so he carried him into the bathroom and washed his body off as best as he could. Trying to manipulate a totally limp body wasn’t easy, even with vampire strength and dexterity. Trying to dry Logan off was even more awkward and he cursed himself and Logan too, wishing he would just wake up._

_He got Logan settled into the freezer and hurriedly changed into clean, dry clothes and then went to call Josef. He stopped and grabbed a glass of blood to drink while he waited for Josef to come to the phone._

_“Hey boyo, the party’s going full blast here; come on over!”_

_Mick could hear music and lots of voices in background. He took a deep breath and said, “Josef, I need help; blood fresh blood and some advice.” He explained the situation to Josef quickly, waiting for a response._

_“You turned someone? YOU?” Josef asked, stunned by Mick’s words. He wouldn’t have believed it was possible._

_“Yes, now get your ass over here; I’m in over my head Josef and I need help now!”_

_“Hang on Mick, the cavalry is coming!”_

_Twenty minutes later Josef arrived, along with Melinda Bishop, one of his freshies who was in med school. Mick had been pacing furiously, waiting for help. He had run upstairs every couple of minutes to check on Logan, who still hadn’t stirred. He opened the door silently when he heard the elevator bell and stood by the door, waiting for them to hurry in._

_“Has he woken up yet?” Josef asked._

_Mick shook his head; he was all but wringing his hands with anxiety. “No. He did drink on his own when I fed him my blood but since then he hasn’t moved. I don’t know man, maybe I didn’t do it right!”_

_“Mick, sometimes it can take a day or two even for them to come out of it. Not usually, but it can.” Josef headed straight for the freezer room and lifted the lid, looking down on Logan’s body. “Kids young. What is he, like twenty?”_

_“Yeah, something like that. What do you think?”_

_“You know, I actually saw him once; he was just a kid. Hell, he’s still just a kid. How did this happen again?”_

_Mick explained again, adding, “He asked me to – he, he knew what the choice was and he asked me. So did the judge. I didn’t want to do it, but I couldn’t just let him die. I mean, the judge just lost his wife, I couldn’t let him loose his son too.” He voice caught in his throat as he said those last words._

_Josef reached out and squeezed Mick’s shoulder in an effort to ease Mick’s pain a bit. “You did the right thing Mick. Come on now, he’s going to be okay. Just gotta give it time.”_

_Belinda was examining his body and looked up at the two vamps who were watching over her shoulder. “He seems okay to me – I mean for being undead and all. I don’t know what else to say.” She shrugged and started to move away from the freezer._

_Logan sat up in the freezer in the blink of an eye, with all the speed of a fledgling and grabbed at Belinda, smelling the fresh blood. His fangs were glistening in his open mouth, his eyes silvered over._

_Mick and Josef reacted immediately, wresting Belinda safely away from Logan’s grasp. Mick yelled, “Get her outta here, I got it now!” Mick held on tightly to Logan who was howling with displeasure as he watched his meal being taken away. Low growls were emanating from his throat as Mick held him close and talked to him. His hands were gripping Mick tightly; his claws digging in to Mick’s shoulders through the cloth of his shirt._

_“It’s okay Logan, we’re going to get you fed, I promise. Just calm down a bit, okay? That’s it, just calm down, I’ve got you.” Eventually Mick felt Logan go limp and the growls became more like soft mewls. Mick had to remind himself that Logan was for all intents right now an infant, lost in a world he didn’t know how to deal with. He patted Logan on the back and said, “That’s good. Now, let’s go and get you something to eat, okay? You can do it.”_

_Logan nodded as Mick’s words slowly sunk into his brain. He was starting to remember what had happened; he was a vampire now. He really was – he was going to drink blood. For a moment he wondered if he could really do it; he felt almost nauseous at the prospect. Until he smelled the blood that Mick poured into a glass for him that is. It smelled better than anything ever had before, not really like blood at all._

_He reached out an unsteady hand to grab the glass and his eyes silvered over again. He felt his fangs too and he reached up and stroked them in wonder with a hesitant finger tip. He nicked it and stared at the bead of blood that gathered on it for a moment then the smell of the blood pulled him in and he remembered the glass that was being held out to him._

_“Uh Mick, do I drink with my fangs? I – I don’t know how to do this.”_

_Mick smiled faintly and shook his head. “No, just drink. But be careful, the fangs may get in the way. Your fangs are used to uh, puncture skin Logan, they aren’t like, straws you know.”_

_Logan nodded quickly and then grabbed the glass, downing the blood in just a few gulps. Mick took the glass and refilled it and Logan did the same with the second glass. He sat it down and then burped, long and loud, an amazed look on his face._

_“I can still burp?”_

_Mick laughed and said, “Yeah, you can. Apparently…”_

_“What else will I do now, I mean, like before?”_

_“Like…?” Mick asked, wondering specifically what Logan was asking._

_“Like will I still use the bathroom? Sleep? Snore?” Mick could see the curiosity in Logan’s eyes and he smiled in response._

_“You’ll still pee occasionally, if you drink many liquids. Your body will absorb them, but you’ll pee them out. You won’t want to eat solid foods because you can’t digest them and you’ll just get sick. Yes, you’ll sleep and I don’t know, did you snore before?”_

_“So no more cheeseburgers huh? Wow, I didn’t expect that.”_

_“Well, you can’t taste them anymore. Really the only thing you’ll be able to taste will be blood Logan.”_

_“Mick – am I dead?”_

_“Well, I guess you are more technically ‘undead’ Logan. You can still breathe, although you’ll find you don’t really have to; your heart will still beat a few beats a minute, only a few. I guess it circulates the blood we do have, I’m not really sure. You won’t get sick, unless you eat something solid and if you get hurt you’ll heal almost immediately. Come on now, we need to get you back up to the freezer to rest. The next week or so you are going to be mostly feeding and sleeping.” He started for the stairs, Logan following behind._

_“We sleep in freezers? Really? I thought we slept in coffins!”_

_“Yeah, well only in the movies Logan. We sleep in freezers to slow down the decay of our bodies.”_

_“Won’t I like, freeze solid in there?”_

_“No, you won’t. Just don’t wear clothes in there because they will freeze. Now climb in!” Mick watched as he settled in and closed the lid. Logan’s eyes were already closed, a slight snore coming from him._

_Wow Mick, he thought. I certainly hope you are up for this!_

 

He was pulled back to the present by a buzzer ringing at Logan’s door. Logan scanned the camera and smiled, pushing the button to let his visitor’s in. Mick looked up to see Clark and Dorothy come into the room.

Mick caught his breath; he hadn’t actually seen Dorothy up close and talked to her since he had put Beth into her arms all those years ago. She was still a beautiful woman and she looked really happy. Clark was good for her and he was pleased for them both.

Clark was delighted to see Mick here; he hadn’t seen him since before he had left for Seattle. Dorothy on the other hand couldn’t believe her eyes; he didn’t look any different, he hadn’t aged at all it seemed. His hair was different, shorter and curlier, but he was still the Mick St. John she had gone to all those years ago. Before she even thought about it she went to him and hugged him.

It shocked him, but he hugged her back. After she stepped away Clark reached out his hand to shake Mick’s, expressing how happy he was to see him.

“Mick, you look just great! How are things? Logan mentioned you were back in town and I’ve meant to call, but I worried that you might need some space. And I was worried that you might be trying to put the past behind you.

“I’m good, glad to be back. How’s uh, everyone?” He couldn’t say her name; he wanted to, he ached to, but it wouldn’t come.

Clark looked into Mick’s hazel eyes and saw the moment of pain that flashed in them. So, he still cares for her?

Both Dorothy and Clark knew exactly who Mick meant and Dorothy had no problem addressing the question. “She is wonderful Mick. She is working at the LA Free Press and doing well. We’re so proud of her. Would you like to see a picture of her?” Before Mick had a chance to say no Dorothy had pulled her wallet out and grabbed a picture of Beth, taken with her two friends at some resort. Her hair was short, a bob they used to call it and she looked tanned and beautiful, her happy smile and blue eyes showing clearly in the photo. “That was taken a couple of years ago when the girls went to Acapulco for spring break, their last year of college.”

He stared at the photo, trying to memorize every single detail of it. He would eat it if he could. Who was he kidding? He still loved her, still cared for her, still needed to see her. He once again felt lost.

He said hasty goodbyes and left Logan’s as quickly as he could. He sat in the Benz and leaned his head back, eyes closed so he could still see the picture of Beth. There, he said it, her name. Beth, his Beth.

Only she wasn’t his and never would be. He started the car and headed for the PCH, hoping to blow the memories out of his head. It was the only way he would survive this constant ache to see her and that was the one thing he couldn’t allow himself to do.

The top was down and he hit the gas pedal and rode the night. Alone, always alone.

 

To be continued…


	12. Chapter 12

_January 22, 2005_

_Well Diary, I can’t believe I am 24 today. It seems almost unreal. Wasn’t it only last year that I learned to ride my bike or had my first kiss? Now here I am, on my own in Los Angeles, moving into a new apartment and getting on with life?_

_I think birthdays are bittersweet things. They remind us of the past, of the people who shared them with us and of what we have accomplished or not for that matter. Kind of like some kind of cosmic scoring system I always think; what have I done with my life this year? Somehow I don’t usually feel like I’m ahead in the point’s thing._

_How are we judged in the grand scheme of things I wonder? Have I gathered good karma or bad? Do I understand love, honor, and loyalty? Have I learned difficult lessons and took some painful knocks? I think so; I guess I can only hope that whoever or whatever keeps score sees it my way._

_This year the weather is fine out and so it will be a barbeque at Mom and Clark’s house. Robbi and Kevin will be there, and Julia and a few other friends too. And, of course Mom and Clark. Lani can’t get home from Tokyo, which is understandable. As much as I love seeing everyone this day is in ways a painful one; no Grams or Gramps._

_It’s funny; I still miss them both so much it hurts. A real, honest and tangible pain that somehow I would have thought would be gone by now. Maybe it never goes away, I don’t know. No tiara for this birthday girl, it’s at my apartment safely tucked away. I still put it on sometimes and stare at myself overly aware that I am no longer Gramps’ little princess who stares at the world in wide-eyed wonder and awe, innocence worn like a cloak. Instead I am a woman who has loved and lost people in my life that helped me to become the person I am today. I am strong, determined and eager to for my life open up for me. Dare I say that I hope I am lovable; that there is a man out there who will accept me for who I am, flaws, warts and all? A man who will be able to look directly into my soul and recognize the beauty, pain, fear and love that is all me? Well diary, I certainly hope so._

_I used to always feel my shadow man really strongly on my birthday; I don’t know why. Nowadays, I still feel him in an esoteric sort of way but instead of being shadow man I think he must just be more of a guardian angel; keeping me safe from a distance, perhaps guarding me with love from another place._

_God, how did I get so maudlin? It’s my birthday for heaven’s sake! I need to go and have some fun!_

_Later…_

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Beth pulled up in front of her Mom and Clark’s house totally unsurprised to find ribbons and balloons decorating the front yard. She laughed, hoping at least that there was not going to be any clowns. Robbi came running out of the front door, well, waddling was more like it since she was 8 months pregnant. This was a great year for her; she had graduated last December with her doctorate and was due in mid February. She and Kevin had decided to not find out the sex of the baby; they wanted to be surprised. It drove Beth nuts to not know, but she couldn’t be happier for them. If ever two people were meant for one another it was Robbi and Kevin.

“Oh my God, look at you Robbi! You’re big as a house! And you look stunning…” she told her friend as she hugged her and kissed her cheek. They held one another close for a moment and Beth heard a slight sniff come from her friend. “Come on now, no waterworks or we’ll both be crying!”

“I know Beth, but I just don’t get to see you often enough; it’s only San Diego and yet it’s been six months!”

Beth felt a guilty pang stab at her because she had intended to go to Robbi’s graduation but the paper had sent her to Sacramento to cover a trial.

Robbi saw guilt and regret wash over Beth’s face and she said, “Don’t blame yourself Beth; we both sometimes miss those important things in each other’s life.” Robbi was remembering the birthdays she missed and how guilty she felt when she did. She took a deep breath and forced a smile onto her face and added, “We’re here together now, so let’s go have some fun! I’m starving and Clark has the hamburgers cooking!”

Beth grinned in return and grabbed Robbi’s hand as they went to the back yard. She could smell the grill and the burgers cooking and her stomach growled in response. Everyone else was waiting for her and by the time she had been thoroughly hugged and kissed it was time to eat!

As she piled her burger high with jalapeno’s, hot sauce and pepper jack cheese she looked around her at the people she loved the most in this world and she suddenly knew that, at this moment at least, she was content.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Mick sat staring at the fire place in the loft, trying really hard to not focus on what day this was. Clark had called him and invited him to the party they were having for Beth and he had almost considered going. How could they explain him? Would she recognize him? That thought totally scared him. What if she did and it brought back all the memories? How would he/they explain why he didn’t look any older?

No, it was too risky, even though Clark had assured him that they could make it work. So he sat here, feeling alone and miserable and fighting the urge to just go and observe, stand in the shadows as he had for so many years. He thought the best thing to do would be to go and see Josef or Logan or even Guillermo down at the morgue but he didn’t trust himself to get behind the wheel of the Benz because he knew exactly where he would go.

What would be so bad about it? He could just go for a few minutes, just a friend stopping by to say hello. Whose friend? An acquaintance from work? Damn, he just couldn’t do it, risk it.

The phone rang just then and whether providence or divine intervention he didn’t know but he grabbed it like it was a lifeline. “Hello?”

“Hey there stranger! How about offering an old friend a drink?”

“Elka? Are you in town?” The possibility immediately brightened his mood. “Sure, come on over. It’ll be great to see you!”

“Okay, I’ll be there in oh, 30 minutes or so. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be waiting!”

They hung up the phone and Mick rushed around, making sure the place was tidy and getting the drinks ready. He wished he had some fresh blood, but the bagged blood would have to do. Since he had come back to LA he had fallen in to his old habits, much to Josef’s despair.

As he got everything ready he thought about Elka; he hadn’t seen her in a year or so as she had moved to Detroit. She said it was time to move on, new city, new name, the usual vamp outlook. He had missed her friendship and no-nonsense attitude; she never walked on eggshells around him and was always ready with a solid kick in the ass when he needed it.

Boy, did he need one now…

He heard the elevator bell ding and he rushed to the door, opening it and waiting impatiently for Elka to get to his door. He grabbed her and hugged her tight, feeling so much happier than he had in ages.

“Come on in!” he bade her, standing aside so she could enter the apartment.

“Wow, same old Mick, not a thing out of place!”

He just grinned and shrugged. “Well, old dogs and all!” he laughed.

He took her coat and they made their way to the couch and sat down. “So, tell me all about Detroit?”

“Oh, I love Detroit. It’s a highly underrated city, for vamps at least. I’m really enjoying the cold winter,” she told him with a sparkle in her eye. “Sometimes I just sit out on the deck with the snow falling around me and think how much I miss North Dakota winters!”

“I’ll bet not too many people would say that, human’s anyway.”

“Yes, I’m sure you are right!” She took a drink of the blood and realized it was bagged blood. She was almost surprised but then again maybe not. He had been on her mind a lot lately; it was the reason she was here. She knew he wasn’t happy. “So what is going on in your life, Mick?” She watched him over the rim of her glass to see his response. His face immediately became cloaked as he tried to hide whatever was going on.

“Not much; working, you know how it goes.” He looked around the room, anywhere but at her because he knew she could tell he was lying and he didn’t want to face it.

She reached for his hand; he tried to pull it away and she held on tighter. “No bullshit Mick, what’s going on?

His shoulders slumped and when he finally met her gaze the look in his eyes broke her heart. “Ah Mick… You haven’t seen her have you?”

“I can’t Elka, I just can’t. Today is a really hard day, I’m glad you’re here. It’s her birthday; her stepdad invited me, but I can’t go, I can’t…”

“Why?” One word, just one quietly spoken word. The answer though, well, it was complicated.

He explained it all to her, his justifications for not going, for staying out of her life. He could see she didn’t buy any of it.

“Mick, unless you try and see her how are you going to know how she will react? So what if she does remember your face? She was a child, her memories are bound to be skewed, distorted. But you’ll never know if you don’t seek her out.”

“I – I don’t want to risk hurting her Elka. Bringing back memories she doesn’t need to remember.”

“I don’t think that is the problem at all, Mick. And if she does finally remember, maybe that’s the best thing for her, did you ever think of that? Can you imagine what it would be like to live with that shadow hanging over you? Maybe it would be a blessing for her, a chance to open herself up and move on with life. “

“I can’t imagine that it could help her at all Elka, I just can’t.”

“Mick, how long do you think I would have survived if I hadn’t been able to work through those horrible things that happened in my life? If I ran from them or blocked them out? I would never be happy, have found any level of happiness Mick.”

“Maybe if you had blocked them out Elka you would be able to find love again?” he said and he saw a shadow settle down on her face at those words.

“No Mick, you’re wrong about that. It isn’t the memories that keep me from falling in love again; it’s knowing that that kind of love only happens once to some people. The kind that is perfectly right, where your two souls unite and nothing can keep you apart, save death’s clutches. There will never be another for me like Lone Eagle, Mick. ; He was my mate, my life, my love. I hear his voice in the four winds and see his face in the clouds. I will be with him again I know, just not in this lifetime Mick. I accept that and while I am here on the earth I do my best to help other people find their destiny. I think yours lies with a young woman that you happened to save 20 years ago. You have only to find the courage to see if I’m right Mick.”

Mick sat next to her on the couch, his head bowed as her words washed over him. Tears ran unchecked down his face and he nodded, looking at her. He recognized the truth of her words, but did he have the courage? Only time would tell.

 

OOOOOOOOOOO

 

Dorothy and Clark cleaned up after the party guests had left. Everyone had enjoyed themselves but Dorothy was glad it was done. She pushed paper plates down in the trash sack and closed it with the twist tie and carried it to the trash bin.

Clark met her there and lifted the lid and then took the bag from her and stuffed it down in the receptacle. “There, all done!” he declared.

They walked slowly to the house enjoying the quiet of the evening. “I invited Mick today, but he didn’t come. Couldn’t get away I guess.”

“You – you did what?” she asked, alarmed at what she heard.

“I said I invited Mick. He didn’t come.” He shrugged as he opened the back door of the house for her. She stepped in and he followed her, closing and locking the door behind them.

“I can’t believe you did that Clark! How could you, without asking me?” Her head was reeling with the panic of what might have happened if he had come.

“Dorothy, they can’t run from each other forever. Sooner or later they will be drawn together.”

“No, I don’t believe that. I don’t…”

“All those years I watched her and so did he. And you know what? She knew that he was out there too, Dorothy, she knew. It made her feel safe; the girls used to talk about Beth’s ‘shadow man’ all the time. Who did you think they were talking about for heaven’s sake?”

It all came rushing at her like a freight train. She didn’t want to believe it, but part of her did. No, she knew that he was right. Still, something in her fought it. “He’s a vampire, Clark. His life is so different, how would she fit in to that life?”

“I don’t know that she will, but they need to meet to find out. Logan said that Mick has been miserable, Dorothy; he misses her, he needs her.”

“Vampires Clark, I just don’t know. His ex, the woman who took Beth was a vampire. I never knew until afterward that she was. It scared me so bad and I at least knew about vampires because of Logan.”

“What happened when Beth was taken Dorothy? How did it happen?”

Dorothy started crying, remembering the events that led up to Beth being taken. “It was my fault Clark; I invited that woman here to our house. Beth and I had been to the park and she was there too, watching the children I realized later. Beth had fallen and scraped her leg, pretty badly and she was crying. Cora and I were chatting and when Beth came over something odd came over her, Cora I mean. I know now that it was the smell of Beth’s blood. Anyway, we were chatting and I asked her to come back to the house with us for coffee while I got Beth cleaned up. Cora even offered to carry Beth back to the house for me, and Beth rode on her shoulders, piggy back style to the house where we got her cleaned up.”

Dorothy was lost in her memories, oblivious to Clark or anything else right then, locked in the horror and guilt of what she believed was her fault. “We chatted and drank our coffee while Beth played. She took Cora into her bedroom and showed her all of her toys and things and Cora took it all in. I remember standing there watching it all thinking how sweet Cora was to pay so much attention to Beth and all her dolls and stuff. When she left she hugged Beth and said she’d see her soon. I had no idea just how soon that would be.”

“Dorothy, darling, it wasn’t your fault. You and Beth were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It didn’t happen because you were not a diligent parent or anything. It just happened. Beth has grown up remarkably well, due to you and your parents. She is a survivor and she is building a strong and happy life for herself. She is okay.”

“Is she? You seem to think she needs Mick in her life.”

“I think they need each other Dorothy, I do. He’s a good man, the best, vampire or not. And whether or not he recognizes it, he needs her. I’ve always thought so.”

Dorothy wiped the tears from her eyes and gave Clark as small, albeit watery smile. “You may be right Clark. Only time will tell…”

 

To be continued…


	13. Chapter 13

_October 10, 2006_

_Sometimes life takes you places or on journeys you can’t imagine and the best things happen, even from something that seems like the worst possible thing. That’s the kind of week I’ve had, let me tell you!_

_Hm, first off I have found a new place to live, a much nicer place. No more paper-thin walls with the neighbors fighting 24-7 or the creepy guy down the hall watching everyone come and go. My new place is fantastic and I love it!_

_I’m on the second floor of a new building that looks old – vintage actually. It is light and airy, with glass panels in some of the walls that let all kinds of light in and a wonderful little balcony off of my bedroom. I move in two weeks and I can’t wait, it’s going to be such a pleasure living there. It’s sort of centrally located so I’m not too far from anything._

_The weirdest thing about this week is meeting this new guy – Josh. Joshua Lindsay that is; he is an Assistant District Attorney and very handsome and nice. How I met him though was anything but nice and enchanting, let me tell you. But we had a great first date and another one planned for next weekend, so things look promising._

_I spent last weekend down in San Diego with Robbi and Kevin and baby Brianna, who I might say is not so much a baby anymore. At a year and a half or so she is growing like a reed and a walking and talking force of destruction! Robbi and I swear that she channels Lani and if there is any truth in that at all, Robbi and Kevin are in for a rough ride. My godchild is fearless and loves to jump and bounce on whatever surface is handy. She would perform daring feats of danger constantly if not watched carefully. She is the perfect combination of Robbi and Kevin in looks though, so she is simply gorgeous; Kevin’s cornflower blue eyes and Robbi’s dimpled chin and soft brown hair. She will definitely be a heartbreaker and Kevin will have his hands full beating off the young pups who will be hanging around. He only groans when I tease him about it._

_I hear from Lani frequently, by e-mail mostly although we do manage to chat by phone occasionally too. I miss her so much but she loves Tokyo. She came home briefly after Bri was born, for a week and we made the most of the time together. She has invited me to Tokyo numerous times but getting away from work is hard, when you’re a reporter always fighting the pack for the best stories that is. If I had a by-line or something it might be different! So, I often wonder, what does the future hold for me where my job is concerned? The crystal ball isn’t revealing much, that’s for sure!_

_Later…_

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Mick rode home from Josef’s right before dawn, savoring the quiet of the streets at 4 a.m. Well, as quiet as LA ever got that is. The top was down in the Benz as Mick cruised down the Mulholland and listened to Ella Fitzgerald on the CD player. Mick hummed along with Night and Day, occasionally singing along as well.

Damn that woman could sing!

It had been the consummate boy’s night at Josef’s place, poker, cigars, blood, and the boys; it didn’t get much better than that Mick thought. It took Mick back to when he and Josef first forged their friendship, after Josef had rescued him from Coraline all those years ago.

Mick admitted that he and Josef actually coming to like one another was totally unlikely and yet they managed to do so. Still it had been rocky at first and possibly only fortune itself had kept Mick’s head attached to his shoulders. Funny thing though about Josef, he wouldn’t separate the two as long as Mick asked for it; pleaded for it in fact. No, it was only after all that happened that he would have considered it. He had told Cora and Mick both that night that he would help Mick get his head screwed on straight and he did just that.

 

_1952 –_

_Mick sat huddled up in the backseat corner of Josef’s Lincoln Continental, not sure what to think about this guy who had helped him escape Coraline’s house. He could still hear her piercing screams ripping through the night as they pulled away from the party house. It was only a small solace; he was still with another vampire and one not only did he not know but wasn’t sure he could trust. However, it was done…_

_Did he really want to die? Well, yes and no. He wasn’t ready to leave this earth, but he didn’t really want to live like this either; sucking people’s blood and killing innocent victims just to get that blood. Coraline said that it was different for him – that he was above the humans now and they were only here to amuse and feed him as he wished. He didn’t believe that –would never accept that. He was one of them only a week ago and he wouldn’t ever forget that._

_Mick was oblivious to the shrouded glances cast upon him by Josef as he piloted the Lincoln through the empty streets. “What the hell have you done, Josef” he asked himself? Better to have just separated this fool from his head than to rush in all hero-like and promise to help him get his head on straight! He slapped his hand against the steering wheel, causing the car to swerve for a moment and Mick to sit up in the backseat and look around him in fear._

_So, he doesn’t really want to die. But he sure is messed up that’s for sure. Coraline really did a number on him. Poor bastard…_

_Josef knew that that was the reason he was helping Mick; Coraline and her games. Although he admitted that he hadn’t ever seen Cora fall so hard for someone before and that made him curious. Usually Cora just kept her boy toys until they were totally infatuated with her and then she threw them out; the game being over at that point. But this guy was apparently different and why was yet to be seen._

_At Josef’s secluded house in the hills he pulled the car to a stop and cut the engine. “Well boyo, we’re home sweet home. Come on in!”_

_Mick climbed out of the car and stood staring at the mansion, transfixed. He suddenly felt scared to death and while he tried to take a step forward, he found his legs wouldn’t move._

_Josef stood impatiently watching Mick and shook his head. “Come on, Mick. The sun’s going to be up soon and you don’t want to be out here when it does. It’s time to grab something to eat and hit the freezer. Come on…” he said, starting to walk towards the steps that lead up to the imposing front door._

_Mick steeled himself and took a reluctant step forward, followed by another. He knew Josef was right; he didn’t want to be out here when the sun came up. The sun used to be one of his joys, the warmth seeping into his body. Now, each time he got close to a window it only burned; his eyes, his skin, whatever it touched. He loathed this part of his existence although Cora had told him that would get better and that he would eventually be able to go outside during the day. Mick was doubtful about that._

_Inside the foyer a servant was waiting for them to enter. “Good evening Mr. Kostan. Welcome home. May I take your coat and your guests as well?”_

_“Yes, thank you Franklin. This is Mick St. John, a recent turn that is uh, struggling a bit. We’ll need a guest chamber prepared for him and also, can you send several of the girls into the study? Mr. St. John and I will be in there.”_

_“Certainly, Sir. At once!”_

_Coraline’s house was really nice but compared to this place it wasn’t much at all Mick thought as he followed Josef into the ‘study’, a huge room lined with leather sofas and chairs. An enormous desk occupied one corner of the room and Josef sat down behind it and motioned for Mick to sit across from him._

_“Okay, a few ground rules here, Mick. I’m going to do my best to help you figure out what you want to do; I meant what I said at Coraline’s, I will help you kill yourself if you ultimately decide that is what you want. In the meantime though, you need to eat and rest so that you will figure it all out. Several of my girls will be in this room soon and you WILL treat them with respect and care. I take care of my ladies so you will behave!”_

_“What? I can’t – I can’t kill them Josef! I’ll die first!”_

_“It’s not always about killing Mick. I don’t expect nor will I tolerate you killing them just to satisfy your hunger. Obviously Cora hasn’t bothered to teach you that. You don’t have to kill them to feed Mick,” he finished quietly, watching Mick as he thought over what he had just said. It seemed to surprise him._

_“How many times have you fed from a human, Mick?” Josef queried._

_“Just once. I – I drained her and sh…she died. I can’t do that again!” Panic rose in his voice as he remembered what had happened two nights ago._

_“You won’t kill them. You will gently bite their wrists and drink a bit from each one. Then you will seal the wounds with your tongue to soothe them. They like it Mick, I promise, if you do it right and trust me on this – I will make sure you can do it right.”_

_“I – I won’t have to kill them?” Mick asked, feeling a bit better. Why hadn’t Coraline told him this?_

_“If you do, you’ll die by my hand, and that is not only a promise but a threat. The key words are gently, politely and you will follow that rule!”_

_Mick nodded and just then several beautiful women entered the room, looking around them at Josef and Mick. “Hi Josef! Are you hungry?” a small blonde asked, smiling seductively at Josef._

_“Ladies, this is Mick and he is hungry. He is also inexperienced at this so you will have to exhibit a bit of patience with him. But he will learn fast, I promise and he won’t hurt you either.” He pointed to one of the sofas and said, “Mick, have a seat. Juliette will sit on your lap so you will have easy access to her wrist.”_

_Mick nodded to the one called Juliette, a tall redhead and waited as she took a seat on his lap and got comfortable. He swallowed hard and picked up her wrist and suddenly the vamp begged to be let out. He tried to keep it at bay as he studied the delicate skin, the road map of blue veins standing out brightly on the pale cream color of her skin. He felt his fangs come down and he licked his lips, terribly nervous._

_“Gently Mick. See this vein here?” Josef pointed to a pulsing vein close to the skin and Mick nodded. “Now, bite softly and just let the blood flow; that’s all you have to do.”_

_Mick did as directed and was quickly reward with a warm mouthful of the most delicious thing he had ever tasted. He had to fight his inner vamp to keep from clamping down hard and dragging huge mouthfuls of the delicious nectar in but he managed to stay in control. After several minutes Josef told him it was enough and he did as Josef had told him, to smooth his tongue over the twin wounds in Juliette’s wrist. She pulled her arm away from him and smiled even though she looked a bit woozy and he thanked her. What was surprising was that she was totally okay and it hadn’t been so bad._

_Andrea, the small blonde was next and Mick gave a repeat performance, much more sure of himself this time. Andrea was even moaning a bit at the end but it didn’t sound like pain, it sounded like, well it couldn’t have been what it sounded like he decided._

_After both girls were gone Josef nodded and said, “First lesson. You did okay Mick.”_

_“I didn’t know that we don’t, that they don’t have to die just for us to eat Josef,” he said simply, still amazed._

_“There appears to be a lot you don’t know boyo, but you will. Are you feeling any better?”_

_“Yeah, a little. I’m tired though.”_

_Josef nodded and said, “It’s time to hit the freezer. Franklin will show you to the guest room.” Josef paused for a moment and then added, “Mick, it won’t always be this bad. It’s just a whole different life than you imagined, I know, but it ain’t so bad. In fact, some of us like it a lot! Now, get some rest and we’ll continue tomorrow!”_

_After that night he and Josef forged a bond between the two of them. He had learned so much from Josef and he had gone home to Coraline two weeks later. He had loved her, as screwed up and noxious as that love was, it was real. He had tried with her, but it was just not meant to be and he believed that completely. They were toxic together and even if he hadn’t killed her he would still have never gone back to her._

_No, it was never meant to be…_

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Beth had drawn the short straw and had to cover a concert that night. It sucked since it was a human interest kind of piece and she hated those. To make it worse it was a band that she didn’t even like but she got her interview with them after the show as they came down from the audience high; they had talked to her in the dressing room.

The LA Palladium was huge and the parking lot bigger still. Very few cars remained in it as a guard escorted her to her car parked in the press area. She told him good night and sighed as she closed her door. She was dead tired and it was 1am; she couldn’t wait to get to bed! She yawned broadly and put the car into reverse, not looking behind her.

CRASH!

“OMG!” she yelled, stunned for a moment from the impact. She couldn’t believe she could have been so careless; she was shaking like a leaf and she saw the guard that had escorted her to the car running towards the two cars. She unbuckled her seat belt and climbed out of the car, hoping that she hadn’t hurt anyone.

A dark-haired man was climbing out of his Lexus, or trying to anyway. Beth had managed to back into the front fender on the driver’s side and it had not only buckled the fender but the driver’s door as well.

Of course it would be a freaking Lexus. He’ll probably sue me!

He finally crawled out the passenger side door and came storming around the car yelling like a banshee, “Christ, don’t you bother to look behind you before you back up lady?”

“I was tired, I’m sor – hey wait a damn minute, did you ever hear of lights when driving at night buddy?” she demanded, noticing that his lights weren’t on.

He looked down at his car and realized she was right; he had neglected to turn his headlights on. He looked at her and saw that along with being pissed she was also really cute. Maybe this a bit of serendipity?

“Yeah, you’re right; I forgot to turn them on. I’m tired too. Sorry, Miss…?”

“Turner, Beth Turner. I’m sorry too. Are you hurt?” she asked, taking him in. Nice looking, tall, classy suit. Not bad… She tried to smile at him.

“Josh Lindsey. Yes, I’m fine. How about you?”

Beth nodded and gave a rueful laugh. “Guess we can’t say the same for the cars, huh?”

Josh looked at both of them; his with the crumpled fender and hers with the busted tail light and dent. He laughed and agreed, “Guess not. Is yours drivable do you think?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think yours is, that’s for sure.” They both looked at the way the fender was tucked into the tire and frowned. Her rear bumper was crunched but it was intact anyway.

“I think I will be calling the auto club,” he said with a grin. “Since this is a private parking lot and there apparently are no injuries we don’t need to call the police. I guess we just exchange information and be on our way,” he told her.

They spent the next ten minutes doing just that and then Josh called the auto club. They said it would be about 30 minutes before they could get there. Beth invited Josh to sit in her car with her while they waited.

“That’s crazy. You should go on home. I’ll be fine here, really.”

“So you think I should do a ‘crash and dash’ huh? No way, I know you’re a lawyer now, not a chance!” she laughed.

“Yes, a lawyer. But you haven’t said what you do!”

“I’m a reporter for the LA Free Press, which is why I was here tonight, to interview the band. All in all it hasn’t been the best of evenings!”

“I don’t know, it’s not ending too badly!” He caught her eyes and for a moment something sparked between them. Both of them were quiet, thinking about that. He continued, “So, you aren’t a fan of heavy metal I guess?”

“Nope. Too loud!”

“Yeah, they are loud, but I still love them. Rock out you know!” he told her laughing as she vehemently shook her head no.

“Well, you can have them! Give me something a bit quieter, like emo!”

“Emo? Oh man, here I was hoping I could ask you out until you said that. An emo girl? I don’t know if I can go out with an emo girl!”

“Have you ever tried?” she asked with a smile.

“Guess I’m going to find out!” he replied.

Yeah, all in all a great night Josh!

 

To be continued…


	14. Chapter 14

_July 7, 2007_

_It has been a wonderful week! Lani was home for 9 days and the Three Musketeers spent 3 whole days together, idling the day away in the sun and talking the night away as well._

_Lani inherited a beach house from her grandparents, which is the main reason she came home, to sign paperwork and such. It’s out just past Malibu, but in the older, ‘not fashionable’ part. It’s a real bungalow style, built in the 1930’s and just awesome. I spent quite a few days there helping Lani sort through things and you should have seen us trying to handle a few minor repairs. Josh came over to help occasionally, but in reality he isn’t much handier with a hammer than we are. It was a true spectacle to watch us, I’m sure!_

_When Robbi came for a long weekend it was the perfect end to the week. No men were allowed; we turned off our cell phones and stocked up on wine and munchies and sunscreen and just did whatever we felt like. Lani has really enjoyed Tokyo but she seems different somehow about it. I tried to get her to tell me what was wrong but she insisted that nothing was wrong and that perhaps she really was just a bit home-sick and in truth I think she is; she seemed to absorb everything and clung to us when it was time to go. It’s almost like she has seen something there that she doesn’t understand or maybe just something that made her grow up. Who knows, but I am so glad she was home._

_Oh, I almost forgot something! I ran into Carl when I was working a story for the paper. He is doing really well and is a detective now; a job that he is perfectly suited to. It felt good to see him and he met Josh and I for dinner one night; they already knew one another from a couple of cases. I haven’t mentioned to Josh that Carl and I used to date; I suppose I should at some point, but it feels kind of weird to mention it. Carl did seem surprised by Josh and I and that sort of made me laugh. He didn’t say anything, but I could still tell. Carl is engaged and has promised to bring his fiancé next time we meet for dinner._

_My friend Morgan, who is a fantastic photographer told me about a great job opening at Buzzwire, an internet news and gossip venue. She told me to tell Maureen Williams there that she had sent me and I went to the interview. I think it went great and I am really hopeful about it. Who knows, thanks to Morgan I may be the next ‘it’ girl on the internet!_

_My mom has retired from her job with the Glendale school system. She is really excited about it too. She was there for 20 years and she says it’s about time. She is going to help Clark with his business, a remodeling firm specializing in green technologies. He has made their house into a finely working and energy efficient showcase, it’s really kind of cool._

_Later!_

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Guillermo to Mick: Hey man, you need to come down here and look at this body. It may be the one you been looking for.

Mick to Guillermo: Be right there.

Mick slid his phone back into his pocket and thought about the text from Guillermo. For the past week he had been looking for a missing girl, 6 years old who disappeared from her yard. He prayed it wasn’t the one in the morgue, but logic told him it probably was.

Damn, he didn’t want to have to do this but he grabbed his keys and headed out the door; the sooner they got it over with the better.

At the morgue Mick found Guillermo with Carl Davis, examining the body. Mick had worked with Carl a time or two on a case and he respected the lieutenant’s ability to get cases solved. He nodded to both of them as he entered the room.

“Hey Guillermo, lieutenant.”

Carl looked at Guillermo and said “What’s he doing here?”

Mick spoke up and said, “I’ve been working a case for a missing 6 year old girl; hired by her parents.”

Carl looked irritated but stepped aside. Mick stepped over the body and lifted the sheet, wincing as he did. The body was in pretty bad shape and he quickly covered it again and said to Guillermo, “What can you tell me about her?”

“She was found in a drainage ditch in west Hollywood. The body is in pretty bad shape though. We’ll have to run dentals and maybe even DNA to positively identify her.” Guillermo shook his head as he looked at the tiny body that lay covered on the table. “Man, who does this to a kid?”

“Mick, did the girl have any identifying markers on her? The one you are looking for?” Carl asked, looking at his notes.

“Yeah. She has a strawberry birthmark on her right shoulder her mom said. Did you find anything like that Guillermo?”

“Her body is pretty abraded, looks like it was drug through the ditch but we can take another look. The coroner didn’t make any notes on here about one though so I’m assuming either she didn’t have one or it is impossible to tell.”

Mick nodded and Carl lifted the sheet again; both men closed their eyes for a moment because the little girl was so badly messed up. Guillermo lifted her and they all looked at her shoulder.

“Um, maybe. Take a look,” he told Mick and Carl.

Both men looked at the uncovered back of the child, but it was just too hard to tell for sure. “I guess it will be dental records or DNA before we know for sure.”

“Yeah. Hey, thanks Guillermo. Carl,” Mick said, nodding to both men before leaving. Outside Mick leaned up against the wall for a moment to collect himself.

That so easily could have been Beth, when Coraline took her. The realization shook him to the core and his gut twisted with pain. It could have been…

_1984_

_Mick sat in the living room of the Turner’s house in Glendale, taking notes about Elizabeth Turner, 4 years old who had been taken from her bed the night before. Her mother, grandparents and Clark Griffin were all sick with worry and guilt for not hearing Beth being taken._

_“May I see her bedroom now? I think I have enough background.”_

_Dorothy Turner nodded and said, “Yes Mr. St. John, please, follow me.” Her voice caught on the last word and she tried to stifle a small sob. “It was quiet last night and we didn’t hear anything; we just don’t understand. Whoever took her got in through the window, which they pried open from the outside.” She opened the door and as soon as she stood aside Mick not only scented exactly what had happened, but who had taken her._

_A knife twisted viciously in his gut. Coraline…Coraline had the little girl._

_He saw her coming in the window and standing still, looking at the child, who was sleeping peacefully. Coraline leaned over her and laid her hand over the child’s mouth and then scooped her up into cold and merciless arms and was back out of the window before anyone knew it._

_He shut his eyes tightly for a moment; he couldn’t bear for Dorothy Turner to see the naked pain in them. After he had regained his composure he said to her, “I’ll find her. I promise.” He had left then, rage filling his being. He knew exactly where to look for Beth. He would find her, but would he find her in time?_

_Those same worries occurred to him now; it wasn’t Coraline who took the child, but would they find her in time? Or had she been found already? Mick could only hope for the best._

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

“Beth, did you hear?” Max said, an infectious grin plastered across her face.

Max was a new co-worker at the paper and she and Beth had hit it off immediately. Max, short for Maxine was married to a great guy named Mark and she and Josh had hung out with them several times. Max and Mark had 3 kids, all boys and something was always going on at the Tyler household.

“What?” Beth asked distractedly as she stared an e-mail from Josh asking her to go to dinner that evening.

“The 710 shooter struck again! This time on Dozier!”

Those words brought Beth’s immediate attention to focus on Max. “Dozier? It is definitely an alphabet thing then,” she said as she mentally ticked off Anaheim, Bell, Compton and now Dozier. All streets that crossed the 710 but the times seemed to be random and Beth had spent a good deal of time pondering the situation since she was covering it for the paper. She stood up and grabbed her purse and phone and told Max, “I’m heading out then. Thanks Max!”

As Beth drove to the site she mulled over the shootings and when they had happened. Each one had happened after noon but before 1pm. The victims had all been driving north-bound on the 710, otherwise known as the Long Beach Freeway, at streets that intersected the freeway. So far there had been 3 clean shots that caused wrecks on the freeway that had killed 9 others. No telling what today’s totals might be. So, the times Beth wondered. Someone on their lunch hour or what?

When she got to the scene she had to fight her way through the lines of police who were processing the scene. She saw Carl and made a bee-line for him. As soon as he saw her heading for him he tried to duck out of the way but he was too late – he was cornered with nowhere to go.

“Carl! Hey Carl,” Beth called out, ready to chase him if need be.

“Beth,” he said with a shake of his head. “Why am I not surprised to see you here?”

“You shouldn’t be, I’ve been at all the other crime scenes. Anything different about this one?”

“No, same damn thing. Shot from one of these buildings, shooter undetected and got away clean. It’s really frustrating…”

Beth laid a hand on his arm and smiled at him. Their eyes met and for a moment the years had melted away and the both remembered the past. They both shook it off, not because it was a place they wanted to find again but because it was a place where they lost each other. “You’ll catch them Carl, you always do,” she told him, trying to sound convincing.

He nodded and looked around him, at the ambulances and yellow crime scene tape that criss-crossed the paths. “He got 3 today Beth, the driver was killed immediately and the car went into another lane and killed an elderly couple who couldn’t get out of the way in time. Fourteen cars were involved.”

“At least there were no more fatalities than that Carl. It could have been worse. But I know that is poor consolation to you. Any other information you want to share?”

“No, but I’ll tell you that we think the shooter was on top of the parking garage on Dozier, the one by the bank. They’re checking the scene now.”

Beth nodded and made notes on her pad. “It’s crazy Carl. So if this was ‘D’ then the next will be ‘E’ I expect. How many ‘E’ streets are there anyway?”

“A couple. But knowing when the hit will be made is the problem. That’s what we can’t figure out.” Just then he got a call on the radio and waved to Beth as he headed to talk to some officers.

Josh was arriving on the scene when she was walking to the car. She stopped to chat with him for a minute before she went to file her story. “Hey honey, how’s it going?” she asked.

“Beat me to the scene, again!” he said with a laugh. “I’m good. Did you get my e-mail about dinner?”

“Um hm, sounds good. What time?”

“About 7:00? Should be wrapped up here by then. Carl give you anything?”

“Not much,” she said with a shrug. “He’s pretty frustrated. Hey, I gotta go, but I’ll see later okay?” She gave him a quick kiss and headed off to her car, watching the media circus of television people who were setting up cameras to get their story. She sighed and wondered if she would ever make it that far.

On the drive back to the paper her cell buzzed and she looked at the number with interest. She knew she would definitely return that call when she got out of the mid-day traffic but in the meantime she thought about her life so far.

She wasn’t unhappy really, more like she was just treading water and it felt tiresome. She had gained some great experience with the LA Free Press but she was so ready to move on. And Josh, well, he was a great guy. They had so much fun together and he understood her pretty well. But when she looked at other couples, like Robbi and Kevin and Max and Mark she felt like something, some integral part was missing. Maybe it was that thing that came with longevity; the whole, knowing someone better than you know yourself deal. As a whole, she couldn’t complain about her relationship with Josh; the sex was good and she truly enjoyed their time together. But was that all there really was to it? Where was that connection that the other’s seemed to have? She sighed and made the turn off to the paper and parked before walking in to her desk.

Max was hovering around her desk, waiting for Beth to get back. Max was a political editor and a good one. Her rapier sharp wit had ruffled more than a few feathers over time, but you couldn’t fault her for being biased, she skewered them all!

“Well, what’s the deal this time?” she asked, sitting on the corner of Beth’s desk while Beth put her purse away.

Beth gave her the lowdown on the crime scene and then pulled out her notebook and saw her phone and remembered she had a call to return. She was feeling hopeful about it and fidgeted while Max sat there chatting. Finally she was gone and Beth returned the call, waiting impatiently for it to be answered.

“This is Mo; talk to me!” Maureen’s voice rang out clearly over the telephone line and an excited ripple raced up Beth’s spine.

“Hi Maureen. This is Beth Turner, returning your call.”

“Hey girl, glad you called! So how soon can you come to work for me?”

Beth’s breath caught in her throat and she silently did the happy dance. SHE GOT THE JOB!!! When she could speak again she said, “Well, I want to give the paper two weeks’ notice; will that work?”

Maureen grinned on the other end of the line. “Looks like I got me someone with a conscience. Hmm, well, I guess that will be fine. So, I’ll see you in two weeks then?”

“You bet you will! And Maureen, thanks so much for this opportunity; I won’t let you down!”

“I’m counting on that Beth. See you then!” She hung up the phone without another phone and started giggling, excitement overcoming her normally serious demeanor. Max came over to see what was going on.

Beth jumped up to hug her and then proceeded to jump up and down with excitement. “Guess what? I got a new job; at Buzzwire, the internet news place! I GOT THE JOB!!!”

“Wow Beth, that’s great! Will you be an online reporter?” Max asked, delighted for her friend.

“Not at first, but soon. I’ll be learning the ropes for a few months and then I’ll get to go live. Max, this is my chance and I can’t wait! Oh, I gotta write my resignation letter now. I’ve never had to do that before! And I have to tell my parents and Josh and wow, I’ve got to get busy!”

“Congratulations Beth!” Max said as she watched Beth start typing on the computer. She walked away with a smile, genuinely happy for her friend. She cast a quick look over her shoulder as Beth sat frowning at the computer screen for a moment. Yes, Max knew it was scary, but she also knew that Los Angeles was about to be taken by a small hurricane named Beth!

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

“Hey Morgan, I just hired your friend, Beth Turner! I hope you been straight up with me girl. She had better deliver!”

“I’m sure she will, and I’m telling you Mo, the camera lens eats her. She’ll be a hit!”

Morgan nodded and headed out the door to her car. She really didn’t know Maureen Williams; she’d sold them a few photos here and there, but when she had heard about the opening at Buzzwire she had immediately thought about Beth.

On camera she was bound to garner attention, hopefully from the person that Morgan had her eye on. There had to be a way to draw him back into her life and she would attempt just about anything to do that. Yes, she knew that he had watched over Beth for quite a few years, but all that ended when he spent those reclusive years in Seattle. This would be the perfect way to get his attention focused on her again. The perfect bait that is.

It was all coming together as Morgan Vincent, aka Coraline Duvall wanted. And she always got what she wanted when it came to Mick St. John. She remembered the fire and amended, well, most of the time anyway.

 

To be continued…


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This begins the first of the chapters that cover the TV show, Moonlight. This is No Such Things as Vampires, Part 1.

_September 29, 2007_

_It has been a few really strange and exciting days! I got my first online story and it has made Buzzwire a sensation overnight. Maureen (everyone calls her Mo) loved my story idea and it has been exciting but really hard work!_

_I met a guy, a private investigator by the name of Mick St. John. I’m still collecting my thoughts about him and let me tell you, I’ve had a lot of them._

_Tall, dark, and handsome doesn’t even begin to describe this guy; add sexy to the mix and the fact that he is a total enigma, there one minute and gone the next, literally. Twice he has just disappeared on me. It sort of freaked me out actually. But the thing is, I know him somehow. I don’t know how and he says we’ve never met before, but something inside me recognizes him. I don’t understand how or why, but I feel so right with him, safe I guess you could say. Although I wondered, when he scared the crap out of me after I broke into an apartment, if he wasn’t the killer in the story I was working on._

_Yes, the story! My first webcast and it was a killer! Literally, I’m sorry to say for the girls who died while we tracked this case down. So maybe killer isn’t really the politically correct word, but it got Buzzwire noticed, in a huge way and made a whole city stop and think about things, about people. We did figure it out, Mick and I, and he actually saved me in the end of it. I could have ended up like the other two girls so easily, but he was there; now if I could only figure out why I keep seeing him in my dreams._

_Josh says it’s normal, given everything that happened but still, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that there is something I’m missing. I even told Mick he was the one who saved me when I was taken, which of course is ridiculous because that guy would be much older now. Maybe Mick is just my current ‘crush’, huh?_

_A bunch of us from Buzzwire went out to celebrate after the story wrapped, Steve, Marissa, Morgan, Sam, and Clint, as well as Julia and Max from the Free Press. We all had a bit too much to drink so it was lucky when Josh and Carl showed up. Carl had his fiancé with him, Tasia, and it was a really great evening. Let’s just say that as far as I’m concerned the next morning wasn’t nearly as much fun as the night before had been!_

_Later…_

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Beth anxiously punched in her mom’s number and waited impatiently for the call to be answered. She tapped her foot against the cold pavement and felt the chill in the air. Occasionally a fine mist of spray from the fountain got caught in the breeze and made its way across the crime scene where she was waiting for Steve to get set up so she could go live; her very first web cast!

“Hello?” Dorothy answered, on the other end of the phone. It was after midnight, which was late but Beth couldn’t contain her excitement.

“Mom! Guess what? I’m getting ready to do my first live web cast! Turn the computer on, okay?”

Dorothy blinked and cleared her throat as she listened to her daughter’s words. This was a huge thing for Beth and Dorothy tried to wake up a bit more in order to appreciate it all.

In the background Beth could hear Clark asking who was on the phone and what was wrong. She listened as her mom told Clark what Beth said and she heard Clark give an excited ‘ALRIGHT’ in the background which brought an even bigger grin to Beth’s face. Clark was always her biggest supporter and she laughed as he grabbed the phone and started asking a million questions.

“Where are you?” was the first one and Beth started answering them all.

“I’m at the fountain on Melrose, downtown. I’m waiting for Steve to get set up now, it’s a murder Clark. The girl has a bite mark on her throat I heard them say, like a vampire or something bit her!” Beth laughed at this last bit of information, as if anyone really believed in vampires! But it made a good angle for the story. She never even noticed when Clark failed to laugh with her.

Just then Steve told her he was ready to go and she said to Clark, “Hey, I gotta go now, we’re ready to roll. Turn the computer on!” She didn’t hear Clark tell her to be careful.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Clark set the receiver back down in the cradle and made his way downstairs where Dorothy had booted the computer and followed the Buzzwire link Beth had sent them. As he walked into the room Dorothy immediately saw that something was terribly wrong.

“What is it honey?”

“Beth just told me the dead girl has bite marks in her throat!”

 

“Oh my God,” Dorothy said and watched as Beth’s web cast started. Both watched in stunned silence, both proud and scared as they watched the report. They knew what they had to do.

 

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Mick had just woke from his sub-zero slumber and made his way into the kitchen for a quick fix, choosing the needle as his dinner companion this night. It was fast and he needed the boost because he hadn’t rested well at all. He had dreamt of Beth all day and she appeared and retreated constantly, reappearing whenever he finally felt as if he would actually rest.

 

He slid the needle into his vein and felt the rush; so did his inner vamp and he went with the feeling, letting it take him over. The computer was on and it suddenly had his attention.

There she was, Beth on the screen, reporting from a crime scene. “This is Beth Turner, reporting for Buzzwire.”

It brought him out of his seat immediately. He knew that she had gotten the job at Buzzwire a few months ago; he didn’t know that she was doing live web casts.

His cell started ringing and he was tempted to ignore it, but when he looked at the number ringing in he answered right away.

“Hello?”

“Mick, its Clark. I think Beth might be in trouble!”

“I just saw her on the web cast. What’s wrong?” He flashed back to his disturbed sleep and began to understand it.

“She’s working a murder scene; Mick, the dead girl has a bite mark on her neck.”

“Shit! Is she still there? It was a live web cast wasn’t it?

“Yeah, she just called us before she went on. You’ve got to go and check it out, Mick. Please…” The last word was unnecessary; Mick was already heading up the stairs to get dressed.

“I’m on my way Clark; I’ll let you know what I find out!” Mick hung up the phone and was dressed and out the door in record time.

On the drive Mick was anxious; this would be the first time he had actually saw her since that long ago July night when he knew that he had to leave. He had to check this out for Beth’s safety, but he was scared to death. He’d just stay in the shadows he told himself. She didn’t even have to know he was there, just like the old days. He’d just check it out and see what was going on, that was all and then he’d leave.

 

Simple…

Not simple and he knew it. The complications buzzed through his head and the reality was that as afraid as he was of seeing her, he was also incredibly excited. To actually see her, not just a picture thrilled him and by the time he was at the crime scene he was a mess. The chaos of the scene helped to clear his head out a bit and he was thankful. Yellow tape decorated the perimeter and flashing lights made it hard to spot her at first. He went in for a closer look and that was when he saw her, standing next to the dead girl, snapping pictures with her phone. Carl was on the scene and when he noticed what she was doing he yelled at her to get away from the body. She headed straight towards Mick.

 

My God, she took his breath away, if he really had any to take away that was. Seeing her like this was a total surprise, she moved gracefully across the pavement, barefoot and ignoring what had to be freezing water as she walked towards him, talking to herself. He tried to memorize this moment and he knew that he needed to disappear, quickly, but he stood rooted to the spot, oblivious to everything else. All sound and motion around him seemed to cease and she filled his world with her presence; he was mesmerized.

Beth saw him standing along the edge of the crime scene and thought he must be another cop. She headed over to see if she could get anything else out of him; information that Carl might not share.

 

Truthfully, she felt drawn towards him; as if a giant magnet was guiding her straight to him. She didn’t know why, but she knew that was where she was supposed to be. He seemed familiar somehow, in a comforting sort of way. The closer she got the more she realized how gorgeous he was and it drew her to him even more.

“Do I know you from somewhere?”

“You tell me,” he answered. She was close enough now that he could catch the scent she was wearing; something floral with a hint of vanilla. She stood in front of him staring as they talked, relaxed as she asked him if he were a cop.

He smiled at her and she smiled back; he ached to pull her into his arms and hold her tight against him, inhaling her beauty and essence. His hands were clenched at his sides as he fought the silent war within himself. His need versus what was right. She turned away for a moment and he used that time to escape, for both of their own goods.

 

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 

Beth turned around and he was gone; totally disappeared in the blink of an eye. She frowned in puzzlement wondering how on earth he had managed it so quickly, so silently. She surveyed the people around her and couldn’t find him anywhere.

This is just too weird!

“Beth!” Steve watched her for a moment, staring around the scene as if looking for someone. “BETH!”

“Huh? What?” she asked distractedly.

“Carl wants the press over by the parking lot, for a briefing. Come on, let’s go.”

“Oh, okay,” she told him. She stopped long enough to slip her shoes back on and followed Steve to where the other press was waiting for information. She saw Julia there and went to stand next to her.

“Hey, what are you doing here, in the middle of the night?” Beth asked.

“Well, it seems like our crime reporter left the paper, so here I am!” she teased. “Was this your first web cast?”

“Yeah. I think it went pretty well. Hope so anyway. I was first on the scene.”

Julia giggled and said, “Why doesn’t that surprise me? So what do you think?”

“I think it’s weird, that’s what I think. She has a bite mark in her neck!” She pulled out her phone and showed Julia the pictures she had snapped.

Julia winced and said, “Ooh, looks awful! Poor girl - that must have been horrific.”

Beth put the phone away, nodding in agreement. “Hey, did you happen to see a tall, dark haired guy standing over there by that wall a little bit ago?”

“No, I didn’t notice anyone. Why?”

“It was the strangest thing, I was talking to him and turned around for a minute and he just vanished, like into thin air.”

“Sorry, didn’t see him.” Before she could continue Carl joined the group and the camera’s and lights focused on him.

Beth was immediately shoved out of the way by reporters who were bigger than she was and she learned right away that they may be bigger but she was more determined. She pushed back and made her way to the front of the pack. Carl watched her and had to hide a smile; same old Beth. She’d get her story; he never doubted it for a moment.

 

Beth listened as he gave a briefing of what they knew which wasn’t anything different than what he had already told her. Beth pushed the microphone closer to him and asked, “Lieutenant, do you think she was killed here or that her body was just dumped here?”

“We don’t know that yet, although we’ll be investigating further. For now folks, that’s all we have.” He finished his sentence and walked away, heading back to a group of the SID investigators to discuss the case.

Beth and Steve headed to the Buzzwire van and sat inside to view the story as it was rebroadcast. Beth frowned as she watched, thinking that she would have done this or that differently.

“Not bad Beth. Not bad at all!”

“I don’t know. What do you think Maureen will think? I could have done better, I know it.”

“I think she’ll love it! Nice and juicy, just the sort of story she loves, I promise!”

“I guess we’ll see,” Beth said, chewing her bottom lip. “Come on; let’s go see what else we can find out!”

Steve rolled his eyes but followed her out. Yep, Beth had been bitten by the camera bug. She had a passion for the gritty stuff; the girl would probably go far.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Mick had watched the rest of the night hidden in the trees that rimmed the plaza. He kept Beth in sight at all times and watched for anyone who might have been paying too much attention to the crime scene but he didn’t see anyone. He hadn’t gotten close enough to the body to scent it, but he’d have his chance at the morgue when he stopped to see Guillermo.

 

As dawn broke over the city Beth and her camera guy were out walking the parking lots. It was impossible for him to stay hidden and watch her any longer so he finally left her to head to his car. No one else was at the scene any more, not even the police and he felt sure she’d be okay.

It remained to be seen whether or not she had stumbled onto a vampire murder. It would be practically unheard of for one of the tribe to leave someone out like that to be discovered. There were rules and they were followed; the cleaners made sure that was how it worked. The only safety the vamps had was hiding in plain sight and that meant no leaving bodies around to be found by humans. Mick didn’t know what the deal was with this case, but he knew he had to find out.

That decided, his mind strayed back to Beth; he felt like a drowning man who had just been thrown a life preserver in a tumultuous sea. She was a life line, in many ways although he hated to think of her like that. But he knew it was true; he felt more alive right now than he had felt in years.

She didn’t recognize me. No, no I don’t think she did, really. Maybe its okay and she won’t remember.

He did not want to bring all the trauma of that time back to her and he would leave again if he had to; anything to keep that from happening. She deserved to get on with her life and he vowed he would not be a roadblock to that.

But damn it had felt so good, so right seeing her.

He decided to head over to Clark and Dorothy’s house. He knew they would be anxiously waiting to hear what had happened. As he pulled into their drive the front door opened and Dorothy ran out to him and pulled him to her in a hug.

 

“Is she alright?” she asked, pulling him along into the house and out of the morning sun.

Inside Clark clasped his hand and laid his other hand on Mick’s arm, welcoming him into the house. “Mick, have a seat. Tell us what you know, please.”

“She’s okay. I couldn’t get close enough to the scene to tell whether or not there is a vampire involved, but I’ll be checking that out at the morgue in a little while.”

“Have you seen her follow-up report? It started running an hour or so ago.” Clark turned the volume on the computer up and Mick watched Beth as she gave the final report from the crime scene. The headline said, ‘Vampire slaying rocks LA’.

Damn it, Josef will be so pissed. Another thing to deal with; visit with Josef after he talked to Guillermo.

Dorothy looked at Mick, a question in her eyes. Mick knew what that question was and he didn’t want to have to answer it. He took an unnecessary breath and said, “Yes, I saw her there; I talked to her for a moment.”

“Oh my God, Mick! How did that happen?” she asked, grabbing Clark’s hand. Mick saw the concern flash across Clarks face and he felt even worse.

“I was standing off to the side, out of the way but Carl was there and he saw her by the body and yelled at her to get away. Where I was standing was the only place she could go.”

“Carl was there?” Clark asked.

Mick was puzzled, but answered, “Yes. Do you know him?”

Dorothy nodded and smiled, “Yes we do. Beth and Carl dated for quite awhile in college. At one time we sort of thought they might get married.”

Mick tried not to let the fact that the news shocked him show on his face. Of course he knew that Beth would have had boyfriends, steady ones even and lovers, but the fact that one of them was Carl definitely did shock him. He remembered watching them together at the crime scene though and he could see it in their interaction. Despite the fact that Carl obviously didn’t like Mick he was a good man, an outstanding man in fact and he felt a momentary pang of regret for their failed relationship.

“So – so do you think she recognized you?” Dorothy asked.

“No, I was a bit worried about that too. She thought I looked familiar, but she couldn’t place me. It was okay. I only talked to her for a minute and then I left. I did watch the scene until dawn though, to make sure she was okay.” He let them digest this information for a minute before adding the part that they would hate. “Look, there could be a vampire involved in this; I have to continue to investigate it. Not only for Beth’s safety, but for the security of the vampire community. We could have a rogue out there and if so, it has to be taken care of.”

“Yes, I realize that Mick. I do…I just want her to be safe,” Dorothy added.

Mick nodded, silently agreeing with her. “I’ll probably see her again Dorothy, but I’ll take every precaution that she doesn’t recognize me, I promise.”

“Okay Mick. What else can we do at this point?” Dorothy said, salty tears brimming her eyes. All any of them wanted was for Beth to be safe and happy.

Mick left soon after that and as Clark watched him climb into his Benz and he secretly thought that finally maybe things had a chance to work out. Answers to years old questions might finally come out and he couldn’t help but think that it was a good thing.

He was aware though that he was the only one who thought that.

As Dorothy and Clark watched Mick pull away from their house Dorothy broke down in tears. They were tears of relied as well as fear of what had been set in motion. Clark held her tightly against him and kissed her hair, trying to lend her every bit of strength he could. He could tell by the way she held her body that she wasn’t okay with it all and he knew that they were going to have to talk about it. It was a discussion he always knew would happen and yet he would postpone it if he could. He could only be honest with her, even understanding that they saw the situation from totally different sides.

“It’s going to be okay darling, I promise,” he told her. He just wasn’t sure who it would be okay for.

“Will it? You’re joking right? It’s not going to be okay!”

Clark tipped her head up so that he could look into her eyes; cornflower blue eyes that were awash with unshed tears. As he watched she blinked and a salty tear made its way slowly down her face. He bent and kissed it away and soon more followed; a million tears shed for grief and guilt, an abominable combination.

“Sh-she’ll remember Clark. She’ll remember it all!”

 

“Dorothy, is that such a bad thing? Can you imagine what it is like for her, having this horrendous thing locked away in her head and not being able to let it go? Do you ever consider that Dorothy? Look at the life she leads; it’s like part of her is missing or incomplete. She’s missing a part of herself my love and she needs to find it.”

“She’s fine Clark; she has a good career, she has a good young man in her life. She’s okay!” Dorothy reiterated, letting out a huge breath. “She is…”

“Really? Yes, I’ll grant you she is doing well in her career, but part of what let’s her do that, be the investigative reporter that she is is the fact that she is driven to uncover the truth. Where do you think that need comes from? And men! She gets just so close and holds back, always waiting for something that she can’t explain. A need, within her Dorothy. She needs the truth.”

“I’ll never believe that Clark; never.”

Clark just held her closer and rubbed his hand up and down her back. She still didn’t see what was in front of her face; that there were two people out there that needed one another and wouldn’t be happy until they discovered that fact.

 

To be continued…


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No Such Thing as Vampires, Part 2

_October 1, 2007_

_The past couple of days have been a wild ride. Confusing and exhilarating, I feel like I have been sucker-punched. I’ve had several dreams about when I was taken and I haven’t had in for a very long time. But one face keeps returning to me in them, a face that has no place there and yet, inexplicably is._

_The face of Mick St. John, the private investigator that I met while working on the Kelly Foster case._

_Why is he in my dreams, inhabiting my thoughts? It’s like I have breathed him in and now he is a part of me, a part that I can’t shake, aand a part that I don’t want to shake._

_Josh just keeps telling me that it is normal, that he saved my life when I was attacked by Christian Ellis’ grad student. Mick saved me and so it is normal that I would be preoccupied with him. Is it? Is it normal to feel a part of someone that you barely know?_

_I wish I knew…_

_What I do know is that when I fall asleep it’s Mick’s face that I see, carrying me away from the horror of when I was taken. It has sort of jump-started those old memories in a way that I can’t get away from. Part of me is glad about that – you can only hide from the past for just so long but the reality is that I can’t make heads or tails of it all. It seems like there is fire and then Mick carries me away._

_Which of course isn’t possible._

_Why can’t I remember it all? I think I need to, for no other reason than to finally move past it. My mom always felt it was better for me to just forget it all, but I don’t think so. How can you heal and move past if it haunts you still?_

_I am still riding high with the success of my first web cast; I am Mo’s golden girl right now, but we’ll see how long that lasts! She is fickle, or so I have been told. Yesterday I spent working wrap ups to the story and I must admit that while the vampire angle caught the viewer’s attention, it is pretty hokey! It was so much fun, when I wasn’t being drugged and on the list for the next murder that is._

_I talked to Lani and told her my news and she was delighted to hear it all; she seemed a bit better this time, more her old self. Maybe I was imagining the stress in her voice last time we talked. I don’t know, it’s possible I guess. I also talked with Robbi and she said she hadn’t noticed anything unusual with Lani, so I probably did imagine it. She and Kevin are coming up this weekend for a barbeque at Mom and Clark’s house, to celebrate my triumphant entry into the world of online journalism. It’s going to be fun and I can’t wait!_

_Later…_

 

 

OOOOOOOOOOO

 

After Mick had visited Guillermo at the morgue and discovered that there wasn’t a vampire involved in all this he headed to Josef’s for a few minutes. He was seeking something, some unknown needed familiarity. Maybe just a laugh, but Josef taunting him about his need to feed his inner vampire set him on edge and he headed home to hit the freezer.

He needed to get some sleep before he went to the dead girl, Kelly Foster’s apartment later to see what he could find. As he and Guillermo checked her out in the morgue he knew that whoever had done this wasn’t a vamp, so what was the point of it all? He tried to focus on the case but instead his mind kept twisting around to Beth.

He sort of felt like a fool, standing there staring at her. She was so beautiful; confident and poised as she made her way to where he was standing. It was amazing, she was grown up and no longer that 16 year old girl that was burgeoning on the edge of womanhood.

And this was what presented the problem.

He was drawn to her, like a man thirsting to death in a desert and she was the life-saving spring. He wanted to drink her in, her essence, her very person. She was a life line for him and he hadn’t felt that in a very long time. How did he stay away having these feelings; such mortal feelings?

After managing to sleep for a few hours he got up, realizing that there would be no more sleep for him right now. He showered and dressed and realized he still had a couple of hours before he could go to Kelly Foster’s apartment. He decided to go see Logan.

Logan was the only other vamp who knew the story of what had happened that night in 1985. Not even Josef knew all the details and how it had impacted Mick’s life.

Yes, to Logan, that was where he would go…

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Beth knew she needed to go check out Kelly Foster’s apartment. She also knew that it was likely that the police would be there still, looking for anything related to the case. She spent the afternoon picking apart Kelly’s life; what classes she took, who she hung out with. She came up with several names to check out and what she hoped were promising leads.

During all that her mind kept returning to Mick St. John. Why couldn’t she get this guy out of her mind? It was driving her insane; whatever she thought about eventually wound its way back to him, to his face. It was downright creepy she thought and at the least it had to be unnatural. How could she feel as if she had known him all her life? There was something in those hazel eyes of his that spoke directly to her soul and it puzzled her.

She would get to the bottom of it though, she would…

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Mick pushed the buzzer at Logan’s and he answered almost immediately and buzzed him in. It was quiet for once in the basement and Mick was glad about that.

“Hey Mick! I sort of wondered if I would see you today.” Logan sat in the computer chair and watched Mick as he nervously paced around the room before taking a seat on the couch. Logan leaned back in the chair and just waited for Mick to speak.

“I saw Beth last night.” Four simple words that rocked him to the core.

“Yeah, I know. Clark called and told me what happened. You okay?”

“Ye – um, I don’t know. I just don’t know. Logan, it, well it took me back to places I’d rather forget, you know?”

_1985_

_Mick had been in his freezer for 3 days and still the horror of what had happened, of what he had done wouldn’t let him rest._

_He had heard that sometimes the old ones, vamps who had been around for centuries would ‘go to ground’, literally bury themselves alive for years to sort of collect themselves or something. He could understand that. If it were possible he would do the same._

_He had killed his sire, his wife. The thought stunned him; in the vamp world to kill your sire was almost an unforgivable act and yet he felt no real remorse about it. She was dead; staked and burned to death by his own hand and he would do it again if he had to. It was just too much; all these years had culminated in the end of not only their marriage, but her death._

_He heard his front door open quietly and he was instantly alert. He lifted the lid on the freezer and caught a whiff of a familiar vampire and got out of the freezer because he knew it wouldn’t do any good to try to hide away there._

_Mick slipped on a pair of jeans and headed out to the living room. Logan was leaning against the couch, waiting for him._

_“Hey Mick,” he said quietly. Clark had told him what had happened 3 days ago. When he didn’t hear from Mick, he decided to come and check on him. Although they were past the fledgling/sire part of the relationship they did touch base most days still. Logan waited for Mick to speak and the silence was almost unbearable._

_Mick went to the hidden fridge and grabbed a bottle of O + and held it up to Logan in a silent question. Logan nodded and Mick got two glasses out of the cabinet and filled them half full of the red liquid. He still hadn’t said a word._

_Logan waited; maybe not patiently, but he waited. The fact that Mick hadn’t said a word spoke volumes to the younger vampire and so he remained quiet and instead sipped the blood._

_Mick took a long drink and sat the glass down on the coffee table. “You heard?”_

_“Yes. Clark called me. Beth is safe Mick, you saved her.”_

_“From Coraline. I saved her from my ex wife Logan!”_

_“Your ex? She took Beth? Why did she take Beth?” Logan was clearly puzzled._

_“She wanted to make Beth a vampire so we could be a family. A fucking family, Logan. The three of us, living in blissful vampire happiness for eternity!”_

_The news stunned Logan. He had only met Beth once, well, if you could call it a meeting. “Did you know that I actually held her once Mick? When she was about 6 months old.”_

_“No, you never said. What happened?”_

_“It was about a year after mom Mom died and I was turned, at a barbeque at Clark’s house. Beth was crawling, all over the place and she was so beautiful. She was lying on the ground, looking at, oh , I don’t know, maybe the grass or something and a lady bug landed on her nose. It was funny to watch her, she tried to shoo it off and I got down on the ground with her and she laughed at me. I picked the lady bug off of her nose and she started crying. I felt terrible so I picked her up and we walked around the yard. I would stoop to smell the honeysuckle or lilacs and she would lean down and act like she was smelling them too, only – only instead of inhaling she was blowing on them. She was my shadow the rest of the day.” He smiled, remembering that day, of how a charming baby girl had won his heart. She was in a way family to him and it made him burn with anger to know what Coraline had done; not just to Beth but to his sire as well._

_“I killed her Logan; Coraline. I staked her and then set the cabin on fire. She burned to death in it. I – I murdered my sire, my wife. And I would do it again, Logan.” He started crying then, deep heaving sobs that tore at Logan’s heart. He sat the empty glass down and reached across the coffee table and took Mick’s hand. He knew how hard it was for Mick to reveal so much of himself like this and Logan wanted him to know that it was okay, that he wasn’t alone._

_“Mick, she was crazy, you’ve told me that time after time. She destroyed your life when she turned you; she has haunted you since then, dogged your every move practically. It’s for the best; maybe now you can just live your life.”_

_“I couldn’t believe that even Coraline would consider doing that to a child. A child, Logan. It was obscene and as soon as I saw Beth I knew that I would do whatever it took to keep her safe. The amazing thing was, after a brutal and bloody fight with Coraline, Beth came right to me when I told her I was going to take her home. She just crawled into my arms and trusted me that I was going to take her to her mommy. It amazed me, stunned me. She was so trusting.”_

_“That’s because she knew she was supposed to be with you Mick; she knew. You saved her, you are forever a part of her now.”_

_Mick looked up at Logan then, one eyebrow raised in question at Logan’s words. A part of her forever. It was an amazing thought._

“Mick? Mick?” Logan calling his name brought him back to the present.

“Yeah? Sorry, what did you say?”

“I said it’ll be okay. Clark said you indicated that she didn’t recognize you.”

“She asked me if she knew me, but I don’t think she figured it out. It will be okay I guess.” He got to his feet and said, “I need to go; I’ve got to go and do a little breaking and entering, see what I can find out about Kelly Foster. I’ll talk to you later, Logan.”

Logan nodded and watched as Mick left. That was a man who still wasn’t ready to face his demon; but it was coming soon, Logan could feel it.”

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 

Over the next couple of days Mick and Beth worked together on the murder but it set Mick on edge. She still didn’t appear to recognize him so Mick began relax a bit which was good, because Beth was becoming more and more involved in the case. Then Beth dropped a major bombshell; she was going to attend a ‘study group’ with Christian Ellis later that night. He didn’t want her to go, but had no way of stopping her.

After he discovered the murder of the second girl, Chloe Jones, Mick set off to find Beth; she was in danger and his warning bells were thundering in his head. He couldn’t get to the college fast enough.

At Hearst College he found Chandler Hall and headed to the basement, where the study group was being held. It was quiet there, but he scented Beth and knew she had been there. He hit the jackpot when he found Christian Ellis, still there and pacing the small room in agitation.

“Where is she, man? I know she was here, I can smell her on you!”

Christian Ellis stared into the silvered eyes and razor-sharp fangs that couldn’t be real; and yet, somehow they were. He also knew that his life was in jeopardy if he didn’t speak up.

“She’s gone, she left here already!” Mick had tossed him aside and was gone before Ellis had the chance to catch his breath. But at least he was still breathing…

As soon as Mick got outside, he again caught Beth’s scent and saw that she had been abducted by the grad student. They weren’t far ahead and he took off at a run, determined to catch them. He spied them a block ahead and cut across a yard and broke through the window on the driver’s side, grabbing Daniel and swinging wildly as the car fish-tailed over the street. Mick was finally thrown free and he landed 25 feet away, awash is pain.

It took a minute for him to collect himself and get to his feet. He saw Daniel coming around to Beth’s side of the car, a knife in his hand. Mick began to run; he had to get to Beth in time.

He grabbed Daniel by the back of the shirt and yanked him away from Beth, who was lying listlessly in the front seat of the car. Only the seat belt was holding her upright and she had practically slid out of that. “I won’t let you hurt her!”

Daniel reached for Mick, ramming his knife deep into Mick’s stomach. They grappled for moment and Mick yanked the knife out, furious.

Mick growled at Daniel and said, “You shouldn’t of done that!” and tossed him into a pole like a rag doll. The metallic clink sound wasn’t satisfying enough to Mick but he let it go and pulled Beth out of the car, carrying her to safely once again.

 

 

OOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Beth was caught up in the past, a dream world of fire and fear. It screamed through her head like a banshee and made her feel dizzy with the vividness of it all. Suddenly, it was okay and Mick was there, taking her home to her mom and she knew that it was okay. He had saved her.

He had saved her…

Beth’s eyes popped open and she looked around, trying to figure out where she was. She saw Mick sitting across the room, watching her solemnly. She sat up on the couch and said, “You saved me!”

Mick moved to the couch and settled on the edge, just out of reach. “From a grad student.”

“No, when I was little…” she trailed off. It was right there in front of her. She knew it and yet it couldn’t be. “He stabbed you! I saw the knife come out,” she said, looking at the blood stain on the front of his shirt.

“He sure tried,” Mick said, trying to diffuse her thoughts. “You got a really bad bump on your head. I’ll take you home.”

He stood up and offered her his hand and she took it. For a moment she just looked at him, his sad face that seemed to be hiding some terrible truth. The next thing she knew she was wrapping her arms around him, holding him close. She was home; right there in his arms.

For a moment Mick stood spellbound, unsure what to do.

Sixty years is a long time to deny yourself the touch of another,

but you do it because you can’t bear the thought of seeing yourself as

a monster in someone else’s eyes.

He slowly wrapped his arms around her, hating himself, loving her. He held her and knew that he was home.

 

To be continued…


End file.
